BRILLIANT!!!
Posted on 01/28/2005 12:13:32 PM PST by Bush_Democrat
Ananova: Man peed way out of avalanche
A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.
Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.
He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out.
But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.
He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported.
He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."
Parts of Europe have this week been hit by the heaviest snowfalls since 1941, with some places registering more than ten feet of snow in 24 hours.
Peeing for safety and security.
What a concept!
Unnngh!
Oh, I did check Snopes, no mention of it there, so maybe it's true!
Wouldn't pouring the beer directly on the snow have almost the same effect?
"Sixty bottle of beer on the wall.
"Sixty bottles of beer.
"If one of those bottles should happen to fall..."
Well, maybe the warmth helped.....
That's it. From now on, I'm traveling with at least two and a half cases of beer. ;-)
So, who's thinking of Doug and Bob McKenzie right now, eh?
Well, yeah, but where's the fun in that?
The more haste, the less peed.
And waist all that beer?!
Now this is a real pisser....
Sorry, had to do it! lol
Posted on 01/28/2005 12:13:32 PM PST by Bush_Democrat
Posted on 01/28/2005 12:14:01 PM PST by presidio9
Ah, but I beat him by 33 seconds!!
Where's the beer eh?
eh, that's one big wheee eh?
Doug McKenzie was the hero when he drank the whole tank of beer and saved the heroine in "Strange Brew", then relieved himself on the asylum, putting out the fire. Silly, but still a funny movie. ;^)
Get Dad a beer, you knob...
You don't buy beer, you rent it.
Yeah, but that one's got more posts and more hits. Sorry.
I haven't pinged you in a long time.
I hope this makes up for it.
Yea, that's what I get for sticking to the actual title of the news story, and not adding to it :-)
He's lying. If he'd been buried like that, he'd have suffocated long before he could have done what he's described.
Now there's someone I wouldn't want to get into a pissin' contest with. Unless he was on my side. and then I wouldn't want to stand to close.
Them Slovaks can drink.
[blush]
I'm thinking that this guy has by now bought another 60 bottles of beer and is out there somewhere looking for another avalanche to drive into.
BRILLIANT!!!
"Why didn't he just pour the beer on the snow instead of processing it?"
HUNKY ALERT!
Dreamed I was an eskimo
Frozen wind began to blow
Under my boots and around my toes
The frost that bit the ground below
It was a hundred degrees below zero...And my mama cried
And my mama cried
Nanook, a-no-no
Nanook, a-no-no
Don´t be a naughty eskimo
Save your money, don´t go to the showWell I turned around and I said oh, oh oh
Well I turned around and I said oh, oh oh
Well I turned around and I said ho, ho
And the northern lights commenced to glow
And she said, with a tear in her eye
Watch out where the huskies go, and don´t you eat that yellow snow
Watch out where the huskies go, and don´t you eat that yellow snow
Dobre piwo!!!
Back to the old days of "Hold my beer and watch this"
I guess Just Damn will do.
Now you got it in your head, where it will stay all day!
Possible tagline alert!
And then some!
"Ah, but I beat him by 33 seconds!!"
That would be 29 seconds, but who's counting.
Dobre piwo!!!
Is this a Just Damn or a Hold My Beer thread?
See? Beer is useful!
Recycled beer comes out at 98.6 degrees.
I don't know about you, but I like my beer a little cooler than that.
Worlds Worst First Date....
This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
Marilyn said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). No, not Marilyn. They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee be side the road, or it would b e the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car' s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some assistance"!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free......So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down. or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment - - - - This gives a whole new meaning to being ............. "pissed off".
ask mhking
That you would even think about such a thing makes me really worry about you. Some people! ; )
He gets the last laugh - they locked the other thread.
But drinking the beer first makes you feel better about the whole situation!
I'd say using liquid heated to 98.5 would be get you where you wanted to be alot quicker.
Perhaps there's a PHD in the house that would care to crunch the numbers & tell us exactly how much quicker.
Or not.
"Sixty bottle of beer on the wall.
"Sixty bottles of beer.
"If one of those bottles should happen to fall..."
My thoughts exactly, but I'd change it a bit...
60 bottles of beer in the car, 60 bottles of beer!
Chug one down, piss on the ground, 59 bottles of beer in the car!
59 bottles of beer in the car, 59 bottles of beer!
Chug one down, piss on the ground, 58 bottles of beer in the car!
58 bottles of beer...
Before Eaker adds 5 cases of beer to his emergency kit, remind him he lives in Houston, Texas.
I, however, will be taking this article home to the wife.
>Wouldn't pouring the beer directly on the snow have almost the same effect?<
COMMUNIST!!!
He had to survive for 4 days!
He needed his nutrition!
It would have been a SIN to waste it!
Clearly the optimimum survival kit!
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