Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
And the 67% of the married men who were lying.
This is the end result of listening to the feminists--namely, that women have a natural-born right to behave even worse than men. And if women start out with the preconception that all men are rats, behaving even worse takes some doing.
Too bad. For most people, the only real satisfaction and happiness in life comes from marriage, family, and children. It's getting much harder to find a husband or wife who will stick with you than it used to be. This is not to say that marriage is all peaches and cream, because it certainly isn't. But the selfish or lonely alternatives are even worse.
So . . where does the swinging lifestyle fit into this?
Good thing for we Americans that we don't give a shit what Europeans and Latin Americans think of us. Or haven't you heard?
*************
Anecdotal evidence. Works for me.
That's not a wife...that's a test pattern!
Yeah, but were there scores of girls driking, swearing like sailors and acting like louts 40 years ago, aside from the ones that were "for sale?"
I think I am in love.
8>)
it had to be said -- thanks!
You're complaining?
Thank you for smearing every woman in this country, including every woman on this board, with the same brush. That statement is as idiotic as if I said "The MSM culture has produced men completely incapable of being husbands and fathers".
Rosie, I know you just love these treads...
It sounds like its all his fault. Look at the way things
really are:
If he files for divorce he's a b**tard.
If she files for a divorce it's because he's a b**tard.
If he has a lover, he's a b**tard.
If she takes a lover, it's because he's a b**tard.
If he wins the lottery and wants his half in a community
property state he's a b**tard.
If she wins the lottery in a community property state and
can't have all of it, it's because he's a b**tard.
If he tries to kill himself, he's a selfish b**tard.
If she tries to kill herself, it's because he's a selfish
b**tard.
If he tries to kill her, he's a b**tard.
If she tries to kill him, it's because he's a selfish b**tard.
Does that about cover it? That's probably what the judge
will say.
"Who do you think all of these pig men were doing".
__________________________________________
In McGreevey's case, he was chasing BVDs, not skirts.
I gotta go sweet cheeks,
but hold the fort.
Doncha just love these "Amerkin Wimmen R EEVILL!" threads.
~sigh~
Think I will go by the pound and pick up a few more cats ;)
How does the song go? "It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your A** Out All Day Long." 8>)
My comments obviously do NOT apply to you!
No man can give a woman all she "needs" if she creates a mental list of "needs" a mile long.
An American woman that self-absorbed will HAVE TO HAVE MORE MEN to try and fill her wish list.
Maybe if we were more realistic in our country about what work marriage really is, we'd have people of both sexes willing to accept MARRIAGE IS NOT A FAIRY TALE.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
*Steps Onto Soapbox*
My folks divorced back when I was 19 and off on my own and my sister was a senior in High School, still at home. My mom was having an affair with another man, who has now been her husband for nearly twenty-five years.
I'm still p*ssed at her, and have little or no repsect for either of them. I tolerate them, but don't go out of my way to spend a lot of time with them.
Not that I don't understand the reasons marriages fail (I have a "teen-marriage" divorce behind me) but it was all just so sorrid and mean-spirited and just irresponsible and rude to us all on her part. The path of destruction those two carved is worse than any tornado I've ever seen. (He had a wife and kids, too.)
I'm the age now that she was then. I can't even conceive of treating my kids and husband the way she treated us.
There is a steep price to pay; for everyone involved. I believe "Collateral Damage" is the term I'm looking for.
*Steps Off Soapbox*
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.