Posted on 02/15/2005 1:29:53 PM PST by freeplancer
No, this is not some generic white-man rant that is passed around on the internet and attributed to Ted Nugent. It is from me, FReeplancer and I doubt it is a piece of work that would be spread anywhere, except with the rest of life's manure. You see, I am now and again a soldier and a Cancer survivor and I don't want your encouragement or kind words about any of it because I don't deserve it, so don't even write to me with any thing nice to say.
You can do a search on me and see pretty much what I have been up to since before the 2000 election. While living in Portland, Oregon, I FReeped Gore and attended Dubya's rally. I have been a good boy in all the ways a "conservative" guy can. After years of service and crazy jobs that took me around the world, I finally got serious about my relationship with God and I got married to a great gal, and I even became proactive in politics and other worthy endeavors. And after 2 years of being good, I get Cancer, and I did not give my Cancer a little pet name and have a Mommy come to my rescue to hold press conferences and make me think the whole world will always help me with my problems like little David Dingman-Grover did that we are reading about today.
Nope, instead, my wife worked even more while I sank into a haze of intensive chemotherapy. Hair today, gone tomorrow, and I could not lift my head off of a pillow one time and I could not remember my middle name either for a day, but guess what? Things got worse. Since we moved away from her family and went to Kansas so I can take a good job with my Dad, my wife's Father died and he was a retired Green Beret (19th Group) Company commander and professor at BYU and the greatest man I ever knew. He was also out rock. Anyway, she was all alone this year and worried that her husband of only 2-3 years was not going to make it. I did, and we declared bankruptcy because of all the medical bills, and then when life seemed to settle down and there was a faint light at the end of the tunnel, Reactivation and Deployment papers.
I already had Reagan, Bush 41 for a CIC, but now I have Bush 43 as one. I am glad he is a good man, but things are different this time. I will keep the secrets of the 160 men I am now going to call my family, but never have I seen such bad attitudes.
I and my new family will serve, but one of the only reasons most of us will this time, is because we would be ashamed to not do so while still in the shadow of WWII and the rest of the wars that some of us have already served in. I have learned that it does not matter what gets American Men to war, because once they are there, they do it all for each other and that is the purest truth I know of.
Now, back to being angry. I am, I really am angry. Sue me.
Kewl! Seriously, we all have bad things happen to us. You just have to keep your chin up and keep going. Anger can be a good thing too it will keep you going and keep you strong to fight! Thank you for your service. You seem like a strong person. Its good to get it out once in a while.
The last time I raged out, cried out, and reached out; all with no expectation of an easy answer or wanting pity.
One fellow that heard my anguish pointed out that anguished howls were pretty much what some of the psalms were. He didn't suggest I only read them. Instead he suggested I share some of my rage and anguish with God (whatever the level of belief I had at the moment) in the same format -- that I write out informally and deliver them to heaven in an empty room.
I read a few of the applicable psalms and saw what he was talking about.
I knew the feelings of "abandonment to my enemies" and the like depicted there. I wrote my version of them on scratch paper and in my mind and I gave my heart, bitterness and all to the walls of my room, in the cold of morning and in the emptyness of night.
I am a very fullfilled and happy person today. I believe that what I did then, impacted what happened since.
Thank you for your service.
When I am feeling angry, Galations 5:19 always puts things in perspective for me.
" Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. "
Theodicy is the fancy theological/philosophical term for the attempt to justify the ways, acts, justice and goodness of God in the face of suffering, death and evil to an incredulous jury of humans. We Christians have floated some doozies.
Christian and Hebrew theologians, philosophers and kibitzers for thousands of years have struggled to come up with a plausible defense of God's goodness and power, given the daily reality of evil, because, well, God hasn't really produced an alibi for himself.
Once, at the end of the Old Testament wisdom book of Job, God could have explained it all, but He didn't. God makes a personal appearance out of the whirlwind just as the argument between Job and his so-called friends gets really interesting, meaning the finger finally gets pointed directly at God. God appears dramatically and essentially tells Job that it's none of Job's business why he's suffering and that Job wouldn't understand anyway.
The writer's elaborate, but single, point of the story of Job is that human speculation on such matters is folly at best, and idolatry and heretical at worse. But Job's message and warning don't seem to give us pause.
We Christians today, however well-intentioned, often fall off the horse on one side or the other by speculating with pious platitudes about why some terrible event has occurred. And indeed, all theodicies are pure speculation unless God has directly and specifically revealed His will and purpose to a credible prophet who comes to us with "Thus saith the Lord."
Once the speculation has begun, there's no way to judge it, evaluate it, or refute it because speculation by definition is completely subjective and unverifiable. Unchecked, the likelihood of theological mischief and stupidity is great amongst theodicy speculators.
Theodicies are theological and philosophical La Brea Tar Pits. Once we take the plunge, we're stuck forever, and all of our struggling only sinks us deeper and deeper into the pit. First, we're hit with the question: How can we offer a defense of God that's considered depraved when invoked by humans? Second, once we engage in the parlor game of second guessing God, anything goes.
One of my favorite examples of such speculation is provocative, subversive and highly effective at taming our wandering ways. It comes in the form of a poem by highly-acclaimed poet and Vanderbilt Professor of English Mark Jarman.
Jarman playfully pens a poem entitled "Unholy Sonnet 12:"
There was a pious man upright as Job,
In fact, more pious, more upright, who prayed
The way most people thoughtlessly enjoy
Their stream of consciousness. He concentrated
On glorifying God, as some men let
Their minds create and fondle curving shadows.
And as he gained in bumper crops and cattle,
He greeted each success with grave amens.
So he was shocked, returning from the bank,
To see a flood bearing his farm away--
His cows, his kids, his wife, and all his stuff.
Swept off his feet, he cried out, "Why?" and sank.
And God grumped from his rain cloud, "I can't say.
Just something about you pisses me off."
Excerpts from American Wasteland
A Commentary:
D. Marty Lasley
I am not a biblical scholar, but I am enough of a biblical student on the journey with Christ to say that the author of your post is even less a biblical scholar than I am. More like a revisionist with a bias against religion.
I am with you Laz. Hate takes a lot out of you.
Support is always welcome.:-)
Hmmmmmmm
Reserve unit eh? (or not, you were plenty vague)
I don't know if this helps my FRiend, but it was like that in 69 as well.
I don't know what it is about our reserves inability to maintain esprit decor and keep the head up without the trash talk. If that is not the problem, then it could be something I am not aware of.
There was a lot of animosity between the NG's and the RA's and it started all the way back in boot.
I don't have the answer, just the time it takes to say I admire you guys for the job you do.
You are so much better in a lot of ways than we were. Perhaps much better supported by the public as well. I envy you.
Try to get them guys to check the attitude. We hope this will be among the last deployments as Iraqis gain in self confidence. We have to show them what it is. If we don't show them, they will not know.
Good luck and stay safe. Bring them all back.
I'd have liked more information but will respect your wishes. Feel free to elaborate if you wish.
I know you'll be committed to those who serve with and under you. Don't give up on yourself. God's will is perfect.
A "small upward nod" = a useful social device. It wouldn't be a bad screenname, either.
It would also be a great name for a band.
You have a right to be angry in my opinion...but I hope you get over it and realize that you have been dealt a heavy hand ---- for a reason.
Yeah. It's kind of a riff by itself...
I think we were in agreement.
I tried that one, but it is to easy.
10-4 good buddy. Man does my angry finger itch.
Wait a minute, you've been reactivated, in your 40's, after being out of the service for 12 years? Call me skeptical.
Yeah, but do you know what it means?
(Flyer give blu a small upward nod)
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