Posted on 02/22/2005 7:52:56 PM PST by Dinsdale
Pit cat?
That poor little girl will probably never want another (Viking) kitty ;)
Is this your cat? If a cat ever goes nuts in my house, I won't call the police to come and deal with it. I'll (gladly) take care of it myself.
Dust Jam.
What a cat-astrophe!;)
If I were that family, I'd want the rabies check repeated...
It thought it was a dog.
not rabies? hmmm loco weed in the basement?
Sounds like it could have ingested something while in the basement.
I'll bet there was BLEACH around that basement somewhere. It must go straight to their brains. They have an intensely intricate sense of smell and bleach makes 'em crazy and mean.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. :o)
Stop! Don't shoot!
And, I wouldn't go down in the basement at night, or alone...(twilight zone theme, here)
And yet Martin rejects the Missile Defense System.
Wotta pussy.
a Gonzo fan that had a severe reaction at hearing of his passing or a bad dose of killer vancouver catnip., perhaps.
Too bad, I have had lots of cats that were a bit aggressive but I never would have sought to blow them away, pretty shoddy episode in how it was handled by all concerned, imo..
INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL:
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for count of 10.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for glueing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13) Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour ½ pint of water down throat to wash pill down .
14) Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for vet to make a housecall.
LOL! ALL cats display bizarre behavior. I tolerate my daughter's. Everything is a curiousity to the stupid thing. I don't let it in the bathroom with me anymore. Don't ask me why - I just don't.
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