Posted on 03/08/2005 2:18:36 PM PST by JFK_Lib
....Domestic abuse can and does happen to women of all ages, races, and socioeconomic and educational backgrounds. Although abuse happens to men and to same-sex partners, domestic violence usually involves men abusing their female partners. In fact, the Department of Health and Human Services estimates that as many as 4 million women suffer abuse from their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or intimate partners in the United States each year.
Domestic abuse — also called domestic violence, intimate partner violence or battering — occurs between people in intimate relationships. It takes many forms, including coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation, and emotional, sexual and physical abuse. ....
Emotional abuse. Uses put-downs, insults, criticism or name-calling to make you feel bad about yourself. Intimidation. Uses certain looks, actions or gestures to instill fear. The abuser may break things, destroy property, abuse pets or display weapons. ..... Privilege. Makes all major decisions, defines the roles in your relationship, is in charge of the home and social life, and treats you like a servant or possession.
(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...
There is no such thing as a trivial slap. Any strike is a felony. No one has a right to raise a hand in anger against another. And yes, threats, put-downs and emotional abuse are real to everyone but the abuser.
You should seek help if you think you can be provoked into assault and it's somebody else's fault. I'm serious
The buzzword is "domestic". Interesting, no? I really dislike how liberals abuse the language, and people fall for it.
When the phrase came into big time use, I went ballistic. Because I perceived a bad mixing of a phrase which can be quite disruptive communications-wise.
Consider this phrase: I, Alia, swear to defend my home, my country against all terrorsts be they foreign or domestic.
History is quite full of usages of the word "domestic".
Of course, I'm spinning off and away from your post; but not because your post wasn't good; I'm just bringing an old rant of mine into play, if not comprehension, that the phrase "domestic violence" is a stupid catch-all inclined to fueling, aiding, and abetting not only "domestic" lawyers, but "domestic" feminists. The ways that "domestic violence" is defined is also full OF IT. However, the phrase is "here to stay" and because far too many marketing dollars have been spent "promoting" the phrase over the past xx years.
First we had "domestic violence", and then, voila! came "Hate Crime Laws" (and, and let's not forget the "battered women's syndrome" (aka: The Burning Bed).
Pure and simple -- assault is assault no matter who is doing it, where, and to whom.
Domestic violence became a huge money wheel for feminists and liberal candidates. Domestic violence is considered so huge in the liberal mind, that when genuine domestic violence occurred on our shores, 9-11, the liberals could only suggest the evil "US HAD IT COMING". They didn't see this as "domestic violence" resulting in the murder of 3,000 people. Oh noooo...
As you very succinctly point out the "DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Political Campaign IS NOT ABOUT FAIRNESS. It does NOT protect men from the violence of other men, or their own wives and girlfriends. It does NOT protect women from the violence of other women. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is not about self-defense, nor does it take into consideration actions concerning self-defense unless it can be used by lawyers in a feminist fueled "battered women's syndrome defense".
It does one thing:Allow the law to take the word of a woman against a man; where "she said" carries more weight than the rule of evidentiary law and circumstance".
I happen to think the murder of 3000 people far worse than "domestic violence' proponents (who seem never to be on the side of the U.S. (or Republicans) can ever fathom.
Assault and battery are terrible things. So awful are these things they should not be cordoned off into some simpering BS campaign under the feminist rubric of "domestic violence". There. Them's my two cents. Long, and many years of experience with the term, it's intent, its results, its overall playout.
Domestic Violence Campaigns, no matter their seeming "humanitas" attempt are about politics. Pure and simple.
good question. It's never occurred to me to throw things. But I think it might be right up there with why Guns are more beneficial to females than to males (the body strength thing). I dunno...
That is absolutely absurd, and even half a seconds thought would convince a reasonable person otherwise, but that might not have anything to do with you from the looks of it.
Are people in contact sports committing felonies on each other? Boxers? People sparring in martial arts?
You have abandoned your own ability to think independently to pursue some ideological clap-trap.
And yes, threats, put-downs and emotional abuse are real to everyone but the abuser.
Who says that they are not real? LOL! You have your own little language tailored to suit your ideological perspective. An insult is *intended* to cause emotional effect, but does that make it abuse? Does that make it a legally actionable act? Mankind has survived for millions of years without running to court to file charges on anyone that gave us an unwanted 'look'. We dont need these kind of tyranical laws.
These acts do not warrant a prison sentence. They do not justifiy taking a families primary income earner and, by putting him/her in jail, taking income from the family and maybe costing them his job.
And for anyone to say that prosecuting a slap, or a 'look' does justify such draconian measures is a frigging idiot and a kook.
You should seek help if you think you can be provoked into assault and it's somebody else's fault. I'm serious
You should seek help to learn to think for yourself again and get deprogrammed.
I agree, the whole thing is not about protecting women but about power in society and shutting up men from speaking up in their own interests.
My wife has hit me so many times, and 80% of the time it was playful but sometimes not. But she and I both knew that her punches were not going to genuinely hurt me.
But according to the domestic violence kooks, I should have prosecuted my wife a long time ago and thus destroyed my marriage.
That is why they want to spin this whole issue to one of men-abusing-women. I wish men in terminal relationshipswould start misusing this law the way so many women do. Say or do something to provoke her and then press charges on her then get a restraining order to keep her away from you.
But men normally wont do this and that is what the feminazis are counting on when they push this type of legislation.
It is a war on men, pure and simple, by hateful harpies who feel that women have been vitimized all through history by men.
And they are being manipulated by people who do not have their best interests in heart at all. If they did, these people would not trivialize serious injurious violence, like rape, assault and battery, etc with things like slapping or giving bad 'looks' at someone.
Lone wolf, as I was back then, I screamed into the wilderness as I saw the "leviathan" grow into such feminist lawyerisms as "creating a hostile environment" and where "words equal rape". Witness the dramatic Harvard femme who swooned at Larry Sommers' words -- obviously she felt "raped by his words". To my horror, I watched the ugly grow.... And the no-fault divorce -- that was nothing more than a money extortion act.
Let me put this another way....
If a woman has a baby by man X, she can force him into paying child support for 18+ years. However, in marriage, if she chooses to abort the child? The man has no rights to say one way or another. These feminists laws removed "equal rights protections" from men. That's what they were designed to do. I've seen good men's lives torn asunder over the years -- income (now they can be reported to their bosses as being guilty of "violence" (just under a charge of "he talked to me bad"), or he can have his children taken away from him (under the rubric "I think he sexually molested the children").
These laws place a woman's "perceptions and words" above the law, as reigning supreme.
And here's St. Hillaire coming up on the horizon, once again, posturing that women are fairer, more nurturing...
The Democrat Feminist Wheel has begun becoming active again.... It was always about politics, undermining Constitutional Law, and money.
These feminist inspired "isms" still are about politics, undermining Constitutional Law, and money.
All those false charges of rape, violence, and racisms -- truly do bury the real victims of rape, violence, and racism. They bury the truth. These types of feminist laws bury truth.
You need to rethink this. He doesn't need help if he's acting in self-defense. In the real world, if a bully keeps on slapping you on the head, and you bend over you know what ya get? 9-11.
What an interesting thread!
As to trivial slaps- I guess I found the term a contradiction in itself. If I'm provoked enough to slap someone- it's not trivial- nor would I feel that way on the receiving end.
No doubt- there are women who seem to delight in driving men to the edge, and who - for whatever twisted reasons- push the buttons they know will result in violence. I've watched women do this- and been ashamed of them. I'm not talking here about women who get themselves into relationships with men who habitually beat them, using violence as a way to problem-solve. That's a different problem.
There've been so many nameless and subtle changes in our culture since I was young. It looks as though we've taken away every refuge from men- every place and circumstance where they could be guys just hanging out being guys. We demand they be more like us- while we seem to have taken on the qualities we told them we hated in them. Not long ago I was discussing these things with my son- who belongs to the last all men institution we tolerate in our country- combat infantry. To him- the brotherhood of the infantry is a gift he knows he'll never have again.
Sorry to drift off-point:) I do understand we can feel provoked (men and women) to behave badly. If we lose our temper- and strike someone in anger- we ought not be surprised at the consequences. I don't think it matters who is doing the slapping. If you're striking out in self-defense it goes without saying it's justified.
I've enjoyed reading this thread- lots of views- gets the cobwebs out of my brain:)
It you were a man would you consider it trivial if a woman slapped you?
It you were a man would you consider it trivial if a woman slapped you?
On this forum? Most of us are horrified by any such violence.
As far as put downs and emotional abuse, it depends. Perhaps we are all talking in too general of a way. An occasional insult it not abuse. A pattern of insults is abuse. And that applies equally to men and women.
Perhaps the reason why many of us are very upset over the 'trivial slap' comment, besides the fact that we disagree with you, is that of incrementalism. Abuse doesn't always start out as a full beating, or else the abused would high tail it out of there. Typically, it starts out small, perhaps with a slap, then tends to escalate from there. You know...'I'm sorry, it will never happen again', and sooner or later... it does. And it escalates.
The emotional abuse component targets the self-worth of the abused. 'You're worthless', 'You're ugly', 'No one else would want you'... etc. It strikes at the heart of the person.
The story of our society, for sure. Damn leftists...
However, awareness has helped. Back in the 70's - did any help exist for the battered woman? From what I can tell, no. (Based on what my mother has told me and what I remember.) Has the pendulum swung too far? Probably.
Is that Harvard chick an absolute idiot? Big time.
Alia, I see your arguments / reasonings as being on a completely different plane than JFK_Lib's arguments. Perhaps it is your experience and educational interests that explain it.
(Denny Crane: "Sometimes you can only look for answers from God and failing that... and Fox News".)
True, but his posts go MUCH further than acting in self-defense.
Yes, I do think a slap (as long as it's not going to cause real bodily harm) can be a justified response to a grave insult, but this I would consider as justified self-defense to a verbal and emotional assault. And certainly, when a woman is openly disrespectful in front of a sergeant's men, that definitely calls for some sort of strong response; otherwise he loses the respect of his men.
(Denny Crane: "Sometimes you can only look for answers from God and failing that... and Fox News".)
Good point, even if off-topic!
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