What is it about Europe that makes Americans dress like boobs? Walking shorts, sneakers, lame t-shirts and fannie packs. Who in their right mind would pick an outfit like that?
That's the very situation from which I derived my example, in fact. My wife and I were in Paris on our honeymoon, and we were having a brunch-style breakfast at a really nice hotel. In come the obvious Americans decked out exactly as you described---they could've been Chevy Chase & Beverly D'Angelo straight out of European Vacation---decked out in garish "Wally World"-like gear, shorts, ass-packs the size of ALICE packs, etc. And it goes without saying that their method for making themselves understood by the waitress, who didn't speak English, was to YELL THEIR DEMANDS AT HER IN A VOLUME THAT GOT LOUDER AS THEY FELT MORE AND MORE MIS-UNDERSTOOD, as if "volume" were the key, not "words."
In Texas a man who's wearing a fanny pack is advertising that he's a cheap SOB who won't spring for a decent holster.