Posted on 03/11/2005 10:23:34 PM PST by Libloather
Always look on the bright side...
By Alexis Akwagyiram
BBC News
Robbie's Angels, Sinatra's My Way and Queen's Who Wants to Live Forever are among the top choices of songs played at funerals. Putting aside what it says about the nation's musical tastes, is this the dumbing down of death?
And it's whispered that soon,
if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn
for those who stand long
And the forest will echo with laughter
Followers of those hell-raising 70s stadium rockers Led Zeppelin will recognise these words as the lyrics to the band's most famous anthem, Stairway to Heaven.
But it seems Zep's mystical musings are reaching a more unassuming audience, in the shape of funeral congregations.
Britons increasingly appear to be moving away from traditional funeral services in which religious songs provide the only musical accompaniment, and opting instead for tunes like REM's Everybody Hurts, Oasis' Live Forever and Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven. The songs were among those named in a survey of funeral favourites conducted by a digital television music channel.
Songs are often seen as a fitting way to celebrate a person's life
All of which is likely come as a surprise to those accustomed to hearing the strains of more traditional music while remembering loved ones.
But anecdotal evidence suggests that the use of secular songs is becoming increasingly widespread.
"Playing a particular piece of music at a funeral has become more and more common over the last 10 years. People are more aware of ways in which they can tailor the service," says Adrian Pink, of the British Institute of Funeral Directors.
Songs of celebration
"Specifically selected songs add poignancy to the proceedings because they make the service more personal and help to celebrate the person's life."
He sees no reason to sneer at what some will no doubt see as the ultimate surrender to pop culture: the dumbing-down of death. Mr Pink boasts an extensive music collection for mourners to choose from and can now download obscure songs on demand.
The appeal of My Way could lie in existentialist philosophy
His views are echoed by Adam Heath, a spokesman for the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD), who says around half of the services he is involved in feature specially selected music.
Some argue the trend goes hand-in-hand with the decline of organised religion in the UK.
"This practice reflects the fact that people increasingly don't have a religious foundation to their lives," says Julian Baggini, editor of The Philosopher's Magazine. "They want something that resonates with their lives. When church-going was more common, there would have been comfort in religious songs."
The bright side
Christian theologian Rev Andrew Goddard, of Oxford University, says the funeral "hit parade" should be welcomed as a challenge for organised religions in the UK to "articulate the hopes, concerns and fears" of local communities.
Rev Goddard suggests many Britons have stronger ties with pop songs than religious ones, but he stresses that the sentiments of some songs can be incorporated into a religious framework.
According to Baggini, the songs that topped the Music Choice TV survey - which drew on the responses of 45,000 viewers - reflect the nation's collective psyche.
Frank Sinatra's My Way and Monty Python's Always Look on the Bright Side of Life followed Angels in the poll, making up the top three.
The appeal of Angels may stem from its simplicity
Baggini, however, believes there are hidden levels of profoundness here. Sinatra's anthem, he says, pinpoints "the desire people have to be authors of their own life" - something identified by existentialist philosopher Jean Paul Sartre. Monty Python's irreverent song from The Life of Brian reflects the thinking of Albert Camus, who suggested that life is absurd - albeit in a quintessentially British way.
Existentialism relies on the notion that individuals constantly make choices that define their identity in a world which lacks moral and religious certainty.
"Camus talks about life being absurd in a miserable way, but that song reflects a very British sense of black humour by laughing at the absurdity of life," says Baggini.
The appeal of Angels, however, seems more straightforward.
"It's a nice melody and Robbie is talking about Angels. People want a sense that the person who died is an angel, so it's about being comforted."
'Participation event'
Cultural commentator Stephen Bayley sides with the mood for playfulness, although he would opt for more "style and intellect".
"Being self-conscious, I have, naturally, spent a lot of time thinking about funeral arrangements. Frivolous gravity is the mood required," he says, noting how he would like to mark his passing with a rendition of Cannonball Adderley's Mercy, Mercy, Mercy and JS Bach's Ich Habe Genug.
But the trend for pop songs at funerals does not necessarily mark the beginning of the end for religious ceremonies. Despite the nation's apparent love affair with Robbie, Adam Heath argues that traditional service structures remain popular.
"Hymns are still sung at some stage in most services that I'm involved in and classical music is popular."
Amazing Grace, Ave Maria and Elgar's Nimrod remain firm favourites, he says. And although he concedes that humanist and non-religious ceremonies are becoming more common, religious songs "make a service more of a participation event".
"They give relatives and friends the opportunity to sing together and grieve together. For that reason they remain very popular."
Something proper? How about Queen's 'Don't Stop Me Now'?
I had a cousin who died unexpectedly in 1984 at the age of 16. One of the songs sung at her funeral was Over The Rainbow, because she loved rainbows.
I want "Many Rivers to Cross" played at my funeral. Only problem is, I want Oleta Adams to sing it. Not so certain she'd show up.
;-)
There are some pop songs like might work at a funeral, but the songs listed here are just pathetic.
She might, but I'm pretty sure you won't...
At whose funeral might they sing "Ding dong, the witch is dead?"
LOL- Good one.
How about Motorhead's "Dancing On Your Grave"?? Too over the top??
;-)
Good Lord, I don't know how I would react if I went to a funeral where they played Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. The whole absurdity of it makes me want to laugh just thinking about it. Since the funerals on one side of my family sometimes have a bit a self-deprecating humor in them, I guess it shouldn't strike me as such an odd song.
My request,
Elvis: Peace in the Valley
How about some Motley Crue - 'Kickstart My Heart'?
I've already warned the progeny and kinfolks about this. But possibly all it did was plant the seed. Doh!
I've told my siblings that I want "My Way" played at my funeral. Not the Sinatra version- the Sid Vicious version!
Talentless clowns?
Naw.
This may not be the best time to talk about the DemocRATS - eh?
If anybody sings that drippy Robbie Williams song at my funeral I'll have to rise up and smack them.
I'm not attached to traditional funerals at all. I'm leaving instructions for my kids to have me cremated and sprinkle my ashes off Paradise Cove in Malibu, followed by a festive dinner at the restaurant there. Probably music by the Beachboys would work, though I hadn't given it any thought yet.
"She had fun fun fun til her Daddy took her T-Bird awaaa-aaay" sounds about right. There's an existential message in there, not hidden deep at all, in fact right on the surface.
Is Sandcastle still there?
Don't know. I no longer live in CA. But our family had many good years near that beach when the kids were teenagers. Great memories.
I love the idea of designing one's own funeral. Lots of songs about Paradise, and where better than Paradise Cove to leave one's last earthly remains?
How about Roy Orbison's "It's Over" (now being used by Blockbuster)?
For a cremation, I'd recommend an obscure disco hit "Up, Up, Up In A Puff Of Smoke".
Amarillo by Morning. It's "our" song (my wife and me).
Amarillo by morning, up from san antone.
Everything that I’ve got is just what I’ve got on.
When that sun is high in that texas sky
I’ll be bucking it to county fair.
Amarillo by morning, amarillo I’ll be there.
They took my saddle in houston, broke my leg in santa fe.
Lost my wife and a girlfriend somewhere along the way.
Well I’ll be looking for eight when they pull that gate,
And I’m hoping that judge ain’t blind.
Amarillo by morning, amarillo’s on my mind.
Amarillo by morning, up from san antone.
Everything that I’ve got is just what I’ve got on.
I ain’t got a dime, but what I got is mine.
I ain’t rich, but lord I’m free.
Amarillo by morning, amarillo’s where I’ll be.
Amarillo by morning, amarillo’s where I’ll be.
You've Got a Friend in Me. I used to sing it to my daughter when she was sick.
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you're miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you've got a friend in me
Yeah, you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
If you've got troubles, I've got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
We stick together and can see it through
Cause you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
Some other folks might be
A little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them will ever love you
The way I do, it's me and you
Boy, and as the years go by
Our friendship will never die
You're gonna see it's our destiny
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
REmebering songs about paradise, which would be appropriate for anyone's funeral and especially for the sprinkling of ashes at Paradise Cove, Malibu, CA. Here's an old one sung by Gene Kelly in "An American in Paris":
Rufus Wainwright Lyrics
I'll Build A Stairway To Paradise
All you preachers who delight in panning the dancing teachers
Let me tell you there are a lot of features
Of the dance that carry you through the gates of Heaven
It's madness to be always sitting around in sadness
When you could be learning the steps of gladness
You'll be happy when you can do just six or seven
Begin today, you'll find it’s nice
The quickest way to paradise
When you practice, here's the thing to do
Simply say as you go...
I'll build a stairway to paradise
With a new step every day
I'm going to get there at any price
Stand aside, I'm on my way
I've got the blues and up above it's so fair
Shoes, go on and carry me there
I'll build a stairway to paradise
With a new step every day
AND THEN, On the Beach Boy's Summer in Paradise album, there's a song called Forever:
If every word I said
Could make you laugh
I'd talk forever
I ask the sky just what we had
Mmm It shone forever
If the song I sing to you
Could fill your heart with joy
I'd sing forever
Forever
Forever
I've been so happy loving you
Let the love I have for you
Live in your heart
And beat forever
Forever
Forever
I've been so happy loving you
Baby just let me sing it my baby
I wanna be singin' my baby
Baby baby baby my baby
I wanna be singin'
I wanna be singin' my baby
So I'm goin' away
Mmm but not forever
Na na na na
I gotta love you anyway
Forever
I already asked kin folk to play Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye (Steam version from 1968), but made My Way (Sinatra version) optional as well...
After posting, I did some research.
It's been renamed the Paradise Cove Beach Cafe, but it's apparently still there. Something like www.paradisecove.org. Still looks pretty much like it did during the Rockford days.
So... your plans are still intact. May you not need them 'til at least the next century, though.
Now here's a generic all-purpose non-traditional funeral song: Spirit in the Sky
Gareth Gates Lyrics
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
Prepare yourself you know it's a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He's gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
That's where you're gonna go when you die
When you die and they lay you to rest
You're gonna go to the place that's the best
Never been a sinner I never sinned
I got a friend in Jesus
So you know that when I die
He's gonna set me up with
The spirit in the sky
Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best
Go to the place that's the best
You beat me to it!
I'm seriously thinking about a rock n roll funeral and have been thinking of a few appropriate tunes. This one is high on the list. If my son can have Star Wars music, I can have Sid Vicious, can't I?
I like funerals to be funerals. Christian funerals were supposed to be a reminder of the shortness of life and of God's redeeming grace. I have recently gone to several Christian funerals that permit everyone who wishes to go up and tell a funny story about the deceased. We sat for TWO hours as people waited for their turn in the limelight. Normally, the funny stories are for the visiting hours and the reception.
The loss of manners and traditons!!
NO stories at my funeral- knowing my friends they'd get up there and tell the stories about those wild nights in Tijuana in front of my whole family...
A HOME IN THE MEADOW
Away, away, come away with me
where the grass grows wild and the winds blow free
Away, away, come away with me
and I'll build you a home in the meadow
Come, come, there's a wondrous land
for the hopeful heart and the willing hand
Come, come, there's a wondrous land
where I'll build you a home in the meadow
The stars, the stars, oh how bright they'll shine
on a world the lord himself designed
The stars, the stars, oh how bright they'll shine
on the home we will build in the meadow
Come, come, there's a wondrous land
for the hopeful heart and the willing hand
Come, come, there's a wondrous land
where I'll build you a home in the meadow
My mother has requested Spirit in the Sky. ugh.
2 jobs ago a woman whose son was getting married assked the firm for advice for the song for the mother-son dance at the reception. She had her heart set on 'My Way.'
I knew her fairly well and did my best to talk her out of it - so out-of-place at a wedding, and when you get down to it, nobody cares that she raised her son 'her way.'
Using it at a funeral is awful, too.
For what it's worth, I am a huge Sinatra fan but never cared much for his version of the song (written for him). Elvis's cover of it is much better, much more inspired, and much more sincere.
The demon possessed one...
Almost anything by Warren Zevon would work, but I think I'd especially like 'I'll Sleep When I'm Dead'.
I really wanted to have that played at my father's funeral, since he liked the song "Over the Rainbow". But, since he was Catholic, the priest said a hymn had to be played. I asked that they play "On Eagle's Wings" and something else. I didn't even recognize what was played.
"RAINBOW AT MIDNIGHT", I don't know the song, the lyrics are lovely. Sorry about the loss of your Daddy. I am sure your dear Dad was looking down and very proud of all of you for the beautiful celebration of his life.
"Amazing Grace, Ave Maria and Elgar's Nimrod remain firm favourites, he says. And although he concedes that humanist and non-religious ceremonies are becoming more common, religious songs "make a service more of a participation event". "
Yes, they have some substance - unlike the contemporay "Christian" songs of today.
I want The Mamas & The Papas version of Rodgers & Hart's "My Heart Stood Still" playing softly in the background.
You're bad ;) and funny.
Translation of the Latin text of Faure's Requiem (tr. Arnold vander Nat).
INTROITUS
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Te decet hymnus, Deus, in Sion,
et tibi reddetur votum in Jerusalem.
Exaudi orationem meam;
ad te omnis caro veniet.
Rest eternal grant them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine on them.
To thee praise is due, O God, in Zion,
and to thee vows are recited in Jerusalem.
Hear my prayer;
unto thee all flesh shall come.
KYRIE [in Greek]
Kyrie eleison.
Christe eleison.
Kyrie eleison.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
OFFERTORIUM
Domine Jesu Christe, Rex gloriae,
libera animas defunctorum
de poenis inferni,
et de profundo lacu.
Libera eas de ore leonis,
ne absorbeat eas tartarus,
ne cadant in obscurum.
Hostias et preces tibi,
Domine, laudis offerimus.
Tu suscipe pro animabus illis
quarum hodie memoriam facimus.
Fac eas, Domine,
de morte transire ad vitam,
quam olim Abrahae promisisti,
et semini eius.
Lord Jesus Christ, King of glory,
deliver the souls of the dead
from punishment in the inferno,
and from the infernal lake.
Deliver them from the mouth of the lion,
lest the abyss swallow them up,
lest they fall into the darkness.
Sacrifices and prayers to thee,
O Lord, we offer with praise.
O receive them for the souls of those
whom today we commemorate.
Make them, O Lord,
to pass from death to life,
as thou of old hast promised Abraham
and his seed.
SANCTUS
Sanctus, sanctus, sanctus,
Dominus Deus Sabaoth.
Pleni sunt coeli et terra
gloria tua.
Hosanna in excelsis.
Holy, holy, holy,
Lord God of hosts.
The heavens and earth are filled
with thy glory.
Hosanna in the highest.
PIE JESU
Pie Jesu Domine,
dona eis requiem,
requiem sempiternam.
Merciful Lord Jesus,
grant them rest,
rest everlasting.
ANGUS DEI
Agnus Dei,
qui tollis peccata mundi,
dona eis requiem,
requiem sempiternam.
Lamb of God,
who taketh away the sins of the world,
Grant them rest,
rest everlasting.
LUX AETERNA
Lux aeterna luceat eis, Domine,
cum sanctis tuis in aeternum,
quia pius es.
Requiem aeternam, dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Let light eternal shine on them, O Lord,
with thy saints forever,
for thou art merciful.
Rest eternal grant them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine on them.
LIBERA ME
Libera me, Domine,
de morte aeterna,
in die illa tremenda
quando coeli movendi sunt et terra,
dum veneris judicare
saeculum per ignem
Tremens factus sum ego, et timeo
dum discussio venerit,
atque ventura ira.
Dies illa, dies irae,
calamitatis et miseriae,
dies magna et amara valde.
Requiem aeternam, dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Deliver me, O Lord,
from eternal death,
on that fearful day
when the heavens are moved and the earth
when thou shalt come to judge
the world through fire.
I am made to tremble, and I fear,
when the desolation shall come,
and also the coming wrath.
That day, the day of wrath,
calamity, and misery,
that terrible and exceedingly bitter day.
Rest eternal grant them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine on them.
IN PARADISUM
In paradisum deducant te angeli,
in tuo adventu
suscipiant te martyres,
et perducant te
in civitatem sanctam Jerusalem.
Chorus angelorum te suscipiat,
et cum Lazaro quondam paupere
aeternam habeas requiem.
May the angels lead you into paradise,
may the martyrs receive you
in your coming,
and may they guide you
into the holy city, Jerusalem.
May the chorus of angels receive you
and with Lazarus once poor
may you have eternal rest.
What is wrong with with this, I ask?
Isn't It Grand Boys
Traditional
Look at the coffin, with golden handles
Isn't it grand, boys, to be bloody-well dead?
Let's not have a sniffle, let's have a bloody-good cry
And always remember: The longer you live
The sooner you'll bloody-well die
Look at the flowers, all bloody withered
Isn't it grand, boys, to be bloody-well dead?
Let's not have a sniffle, let's have a bloody-good cry
And always remember: The longer you live
The sooner you'll bloody-well die
Look at the mourners, bloody-great hypocrites
Isn't it grand, boys, to be bloody-well dead?
Let's not have a sniffle, let's have a bloody-good cry
And always remember: The longer you live
The sooner you'll bloody-well die
Look at the preacher, a bloody-nice fellow
Isn't it grand, boys, to be bloody-well dead?
Let's not have a sniffle, let's have a bloody-good cry
And always remember: The longer you live
The sooner you'll bloody-well die
Look at the widow, bloody-great female
Isn't it grand, boys, to be bloody-well dead?
Let's not have a sniffle, let's have a bloody-good cry
And always remember: The longer you live
The sooner you'll bloody-well die
Yeah I remember that song.
Wonder why they wrote this line in there?
"Never been a sinner I never sinned"
LOL, have not heard that song in years. If that is what your Mom wants...go with it, hopefully not for a long time.
"But I’ve got a friend in jesus
So ya know that when I die
It’s gonna set me up with the spirit in the sky"
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