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Mom Uses eBay To Sell Monster Under Child's Bed
ClickonDetroit ^ | March 15, 2005

Posted on 03/16/2005 5:21:03 AM PST by ShadowDancer

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To: TexasTaysor
I told my little daughter to pray to God to send His angel to protect her. Then I explained how th Bible described angels as big strong men, even stronger than her Daddy. I really played up how huge and powerful they were, thinking this would really make her feel safe and secure.

She stayed up all night worrying about the big angel monster.
41 posted on 03/16/2005 6:27:47 AM PST by keats5
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To: ShadowDancer

Our small children used to slip plastic snakes and spiders under the covers to rest on the pillows of the made bed. My wife would pull back the covers at night and scream. It worked almost every time. The kids loved it.


42 posted on 03/16/2005 6:29:33 AM PST by NoControllingLegalAuthority
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To: spectre

My monster was not a monster at all, but a skeleton. His plan was to slither up through the tiny gap between my bed and my wall. Funny he never planned on popping up on the side of the bed away from the wall. Skeletons are funny like that. But I countered his plans. See, he was not permitted to "get me" if I saw him coming. So all I had to do was face the wall when I went to sleep. Viola! Never popped his bony head up at all. Last I knew, he moved on when he realized he was never going to get one over on me.


43 posted on 03/16/2005 6:30:50 AM PST by Romish_Papist (Hannity nutshell: "Buy my book, eat @ Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, repeat ad nauseum...)
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To: ShadowDancer

My little brother was also fairly creative..used lighter fluid and a match..

Burned our house down but ah what they hey...the good news was that the monster was no longer under the bed...

The bad news however was that...

He had instead possesed my little brother...


44 posted on 03/16/2005 6:37:34 AM PST by joesnuffy (The generation that survived the depression and won WW2 proved poverty does not cause crime)
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To: ShadowDancer

45 posted on 03/16/2005 6:37:58 AM PST by Quilla
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To: TattooedUSAFConservative
I never had a monster under my bed, but for a long time after watching 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, I lived in sheer terror of giant squids....My older brother had me convinced that they were known to occasionally reach through the sewer pipes and abduct kids off the toilet.
46 posted on 03/16/2005 6:39:31 AM PST by Joe 6-pack ("It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.")
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To: Joe 6-pack

I had a friend in high school who was terrified of whales, because she was taken to see Pinochio as a child and was scared by Monstro.

Phobias are weird things....


47 posted on 03/16/2005 6:41:11 AM PST by Politicalmom (Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.")
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To: MaryFromMichigan

I agree! We used to tell the kids that there was no monster and if one showed up that we were tougher than any monster. The kids appreciated that we were confidant that we could defend them against anything. That fantasy stage didn't last too long at our house.


48 posted on 03/16/2005 6:43:39 AM PST by Vor Lady
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To: WIladyconservative
I wrapped a piece of construction paper around a hair spray bottle and told my kids it was "monster be-gone." One quick spritz in the closet and under the bed and all the monsters went away!

We use "monster-be-gone" at my house, too ... only I use a little spritz of my perfume and make sure that I get some on the covers so if they wake up in the middle of the night they can still smell it. :)

49 posted on 03/16/2005 6:45:20 AM PST by ccmovrwc
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To: airborne
I prefer the method used in the movie "Major Payne". The monster in the closet was 'terminated with extreme predjudice'by unloading a full clip from the Major's .45 !

Excellent! I may try that. Up to this point I have relied on my gallon spray jug of Ortho Monster-B-Gon. I spray it around my son's bedroom and under his bed and it pretty much took care of ants, silverfish, dragons, orcs, and monsters. But a clip full of Black Talons would work too, of course, I guess. I just figured the poison would be easier on the woodwork and drywall than a magazine from my Browning. (Anyway, wouldn't you really need a 12-gauge loaded with 00 buck to deal with a big hairy monster?)

50 posted on 03/16/2005 6:45:57 AM PST by Capriole (I don't have any problems that couldn't be solved by more chocolate or more ammunition)
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To: LongElegantLegs

Bob and Horse Ping!


51 posted on 03/16/2005 6:49:55 AM PST by Vor Lady
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To: Quilla

I always want to do those things to my kids, but I want them to stay in their bed all night, not end up in my bed.

Kids are easy to scare.


52 posted on 03/16/2005 6:55:28 AM PST by eyespysomething (Vous pouvez vous rendre au garde de securite!)
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To: ShadowDancer

53 posted on 03/16/2005 6:56:24 AM PST by Ladysmith (Wisconsin Hunter Shootings: If you want on/off the WI Hunters ping list, please let me know.)
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To: Quilla

You're too funny!


54 posted on 03/16/2005 6:59:42 AM PST by freedomson (Tagline comment removed by moderator)
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To: eyespysomething

When my children were four weeks old, I started putting them to bed at 8:00. Every night, they went to be bed at eight. If we had company or something kept me from watching the clock, my son would come running into the room to declare it was 8:00 and time for bed. (He did this until around age 14!) I'd tuck him in, sometimes pulling the monster routine, and that was it for the night. They never slept in my bed.

Oddly though, we had company over the weekend and their eight year old son slept with them as he does every night. I had to bite my tongue.


55 posted on 03/16/2005 7:05:51 AM PST by Quilla
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To: Quilla

Our boys have a very set bedtime routine, and always have. Its the advice I offer to new mothers. They need the time to get things done, or to just sit in peace and quiet.

And what about people whose kids "have" to have a TV in the room and on to fall asleep. Not when they spend the night at our house.

We are having a little problem with our youngest (3 1/2). He wakes up and tries to get in bed with us almost every night. I get up, put him back in his bed, but many times it gets repeated. Not sure what to do about that. Probably a phase.


56 posted on 03/16/2005 7:16:00 AM PST by eyespysomething (Vous pouvez vous rendre au garde de securite!)
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To: tiredoflaundry

some guy was selling an air guitar once, i remember


57 posted on 03/16/2005 7:17:59 AM PST by paltz
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To: cyborg

Creative Parenting 101 (cute story)


58 posted on 03/16/2005 7:18:06 AM PST by Petronski (If 'Judge' Greer can kill Terri, who will be next?)
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To: eyespysomething

Tell him there's a monster under his bed that will get him if he gets out of bed. Hahahaha


59 posted on 03/16/2005 7:18:38 AM PST by ShadowDancer (As for the types of comments I make,sometimes I just, By God,get carried away with my own eloquence.)
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To: ShadowDancer

Damn. Why didn't I think of that?


60 posted on 03/16/2005 7:18:41 AM PST by Lijahsbubbe
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