Funny stuff, Lady!!!
You can't read this and stay in a bad mood!
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
> Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
> Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
> They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
> You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
> Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
> Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
> A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
> Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
> Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
>>>Quattro Sinko.
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
>>>Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
>>>Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
>>>A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
>>>Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
>>>Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
>>>Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
>>>Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
>>>Sanka.
19. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
>>>Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
20. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
>>>A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
>>>A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
21. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
>>>Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile...:))
Afternoon.
Scientist vs. God
God is sitting in heaven when a scientist says to Him,
"God, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing in other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning."
"Oh, is that so? Tell Me." replies God.
"Well," says the scientist, "we can take plain dirt and form it into the likeness of you, and breathe life into it, thus creating man."
Well, that's very interesting ... show Me, " says God.
So, the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil into the shape of a man.
"No, no, no ..." interrupts God, "GET YOUR OWN DIRT."
G' morning, m'Lady. A beautiful day is dawning here on the lake--I think it's gonna be a fine weekend. Add to that the fact that my younger son, who has been stationed in the middle of the Pacific for almost two years, is back stateside and is coming for a visit. Am I smilin' or what?
Thanks for your levity list. I must admit, they *all* made me chuckle!
God's blessings on you and all the Finest.