Posted on 03/21/2005 1:35:43 PM PST by quidnunc
Turnabout is only fair play, I guess. Considering that official Canada routinely takes cheap shots at the United States for supposedly being a war-mongering state run by born-again Neanderthals, it was only a matter of time before someone down south decided to return the favour.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "The Great White Waste of Time," the cover story from the latest issue (dated today) of the Weekly Standard, an unabashedly American conservative publication.
In the piece, writer Matt Labash cuts right to the chase, saying he regards Canada "as most Americans do, as North America's attic, a mildewy recess that adds little value to the house, but serves as excellent dead space for stashing Nazi war criminals, drawing-room socialists and hockey goons."
Hey! There's no hockey goons here this year. They're all playing in Europe!
But wait. It gets better. Canadians are a "docile, Zamboni-driving people who subsist on seal casserole and Molson. Their hobbies include wearing flannel, obsessing over American hegemony, exporting deadly mad cow disease and even deadlier Gordon Lightfoot and Nickelback albums."
Well, so far I'm just relieved that he hasn't mentioned Celine Dion.
And for the record, Matt, I don't particularly like seal casserole, preferring instead polar bear steaks done on the barbecue during that one day in July when there's no snow on the ground.
-snip-
"In a sense," writes Labash, "Canada is the perfect place for American quitters, as it evidences self-loathing masquerading as self-congratulation."
Those would be fighting words, but we don't have enough of a military left to do anything about it.
-snip-
(Excerpt) Read more at canoe.ca ...
It's obvious whoever thought of Canadians that way has spent too much time in Quebec or the liberal bastions of the large cities...since it is only really true in those areas...
ROFL - Great article by American Standard :)
Canada - that quaint little suburb of the US.
Wow - so this guy gets paid to rehash other people's articles? This article is 80% quotes from Labash and 20% original comments. Sounds like a pretty laid back job to me.
Wonderful.
The writer shows a great sense of humor -- not a nasty zinger back, anywhere.
So true...
Someone once said that living in Canada is like being in a studio apartment above a really good party.
A truly outstanding civilization would be one that combines French cuisine, British style and American technology. Unfortunately Canada combines British cuisine, French technology and American style.
Then again, Canada is a nice place to build cars and purchase oil.
That's it dump your scummy bleeding heart wankers up here. Like we didn't have enough of them!! People we are trying to clean up the mess up here. Cut us some slack!! Send these Kool-aid drinkers to Europe instead!!
Mmmmmm...Polar Bear. It's what's for dinner!
That is perfect.
Bump
Ya gotta love that last sentence. LOLOL
We think alike....
seal casserole and Molson.
Actually they prefer Kraft Dinners!
That sounds like Canadian involvement in world politics, if you substitute "Eurotrash" for "Labash." It sounds like Canada's role in the world economy if you substitute "work for their betters in the U.S." for "quotes from Labash" and "work for themselves flensing whales and ushering drunks into hockey arenas" for "original comments."
Maybe he could get a gig with NewsMax.
And K-Cars, for reasons I don't entirely understand.
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