Posted on 04/11/2005 8:59:33 AM PDT by qam1
If someone else paid for my wedding I would never be able to look in the mirror and call myself a Man again.
Huh? It's traditional that the wife's parents pay for the wedding.
Anyway, I could have paid for a wedding, just not the wedding my wife, her sister and her mother wanted.
A million years ago, maybe, when kids got married before their careers were on track.
If you could have afforded a wedding, you should have paid for it. But I don't have to shave in your mirror, you do.
Hey, if other people want to give me money, I'd be a fool to turn it down.
"It's been my experience that the more lavish the wedding and number of attendants, the shorter the duration of the marriage."
From what I've seen it doesn't make much difference.....
Unnecessary charity offends my integrity and my opinion of myself as a man. But that is just me.
"It's sad to say, but I know of a half-dozen or so couples where one of them became "unhappy" after 7-10 years. Were they abused, did their spouse run around on them, was their spouse lazy and couldn't hold a job? No...their significant other just became, "unhappy.""
And unfortunately that happens no matter how much or how little they spent for a wedding. Just a sign of the "instant gratification" times.
Sometimes I get the impression that people are getting married in order to have a wedding, not the other way around. The wedding industry is absolutely ridiculous, and the fact that so many people fall into it is equally absurd. I would never spend that on a wedding, and don't tell me you "have" to invite 250 guests and need 7 bridesmaids and all the rest of it. I think some people truly believe that the marriage isn't legal if there wasn't a limo as well.
"My wife and I were married in the mid-70s. The wedding cost around $150, and most of that was for a dinner-reception for the immediate family only. Her uncle was the minster and we used his church. The ceremony took about 15 minutes. My uncle was the photographer. She had a friend make her wedding dress at low cost. I wore a sport jacket and slacks.
30 years, 7 kids, and 5 grandkids later it's still going strong."
We had 400 people and the wedding that made our parents happy (they planned we showed up) and after 35 years, 3 kids and 2 grandkids (so far) it's also still going strong. I don't know that there is any set guarantee of happiness. Our wedding made all 4 of our parents happy, they shared costs (and this was in the 60s) and relished every moment of it for years and years. It may not have been what I'd have planned, but it was a joy to be able to see them so excited about our life together. Our parents became close friends who enjoyed each others company even when my husband and I weren't around. Sure was nice not having pesky in law problems!
As long as people are happy in the planning, don't go into huge debt and enjoy the day, why not have the party they want. We still got our house and our kids educated, so what the heck. Our parents were able to live out their lives comfortably and savored the memories. Maybe not for everyone, but big weddings aren't necessarily a bad thing!
Before he changed his mind about homosexual marriage, and accepted the idea, Andrew Sullivan used to joke that he knew a lot of gay men who didn't want a marriage, but they'd LOVE to have a wedding.
Just curious....is there a Mrs. HamiltonJay?!?!
We spent $12,000 for a wedding with a guest list of 250, a catered buffet, wedding cake, flowers, reception in an elegant mansion, and limousines for the bridal party. Five bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girl and ring-bearer, and harpist for the music.
How did we hold costs down? The wedding was in February, so the catereers and florists weren't inclined to gouge. Our daughter got her dress off the rack on sale.
I do not regret one penny of the money spent. Our daughter had to deal with several surgeries growing up, due to a birth defect. She has triumphed and graduated from college, her husband loves her dearly, and we are very proud of her.
We were happy to entertain her friends and give her a wonderful evening. I feel the money was well spent, and my daughter and her husband are not in debt.
Those who want to spend differently, fine with me. But simply because someone has a large wedding does not mean they are in debt.
Probably about the cost of a good Fraturnity Kegger. What they don't mention is that, at $25K, the wedding is significantly cheaper than a divorce.
It is hard to say what the circumstances were.
Like I said, if the kids are young, it makes sense. But a man who has a career well underway should pay his own way for a basic ceremony and perhaps allow the in-laws to add embellishments. A man takes care of his obligations, period.
$12K is a bit of an embellishment, but if more people were able to participate than otherwise, I can see it.
But $80K? 200K?
A wedding in the 80's or 200 grand would be far our of our budget. However, if I were Donld Trump or someone on that income level, I would probably not bat an eye.
It all depends on income level...don't judge parents paying a lot...they may have the money.
That’s about what mine cost – including the license fee.
Fortunately neither set of parents were close enough to influence the wedding.
The "princess for a day" thing is such a foolish thing to rack up debt for before the marriage has even started.
That makes sense. I see you see my point.
It all depends on income level...don't judge parents paying a lot...they may have the money.
Sorry, but even if I married into a rich famuly, I would feel uncomfortable having them do it all.
But every case is different.
Marriage license: $50
Justice 'o the Peace: $75
(tie matching JP's: Pretty cool coincidence)
Peace of mind from not going into debt: Priceless
I don't think our son felt bad, because it was tradition that the bride paid. They had a lovely wedding and reception, are still married (with three children) and we often fondly remember that day.
Everyone should decide hat they want, based on both economics and what the couple want.
For my son, I will always be grateful that they had a big church wedding to which my grandfather could come and be escorted down the aisle with honor. He died a few years later, but was quite happy to see our son married.
I don't like to see people criticizing others for theier choices. Weddings are intensely personal, and carry all sorts of family customs. It is not my place to diss those who spent more than we did, nor those who spent less. The point is to create a memorable ceremony filled with meaning, without going bankrupt.
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