Raise a toast to marital bliss, and its price tag of $26,000

Kansas City Star ^ | 4/10/05 | Lisa Gutierrez and Jenee Osterheldt

[qam1]

Xer Ping

Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effect Gen-Reagan/Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations (i.e. The Baby Boomers) are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.

Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.

[anniegetyourgun]

Love that last line.....so true.....

[Mr. Jeeves]

Generally, the cost will stay under control if the event is not allowed to become an ego trip for the bride's mother. ;)

[Mr Rogers]

WOW!

What is wrong with getting married in a church. Wearing a nice dress and suit.

“The 21st-century wife is determined to not have a stressful marriage, but to have a very romantic, exciting marriage,” Barash says.

Liked that line. Good luck! After 18 years, my marriage isn't "very romantic, exciting" - but I wouldn't trade her for the world. Anyone who thinks the initial passion will last unchanged is setting themselves up for a divorce.

[Voltage]

My parents wedding in 1940 cost under $50.00 including paying the minister. They are still happily married, with children and grand children and in much in love today as the day they were married.

They have not missed out on anything in live that is worthwhile.

I guess it's all in having the proper values!

[retrokitten]

This doesn't surprise me all that much. My brother had a big fancy wedding and spent $16,000 on just the food and this was 5 1/2 years ago. A co-worker of mine is planning her wedding for next year and already has a guest list of 250+. She is trying to keep it reasonable, but it's not easy for her.

Mr. RK and I eloped and had a reception about a month later. My dress cost $50 plus another $50 for alterations. Mr. RK wore a nice suit. We were married for less then $2500 total, including the reception. My MIL was less then thrilled, but she had her wedding and this was the way Mr. RK and I wanted to get married. We would rather save all that money for a down-payment on a house.

I didn't get the big huge wedding gene (I think I got the big huge butt gene instead ;-)). I was never one of those girls who fantasized about a huge fairy tale like wedding.

[retrokitten]

I missed that line. Guess that's why the divorce rate is so high. Marriage is takes work and is sometimes stressful. Anyone who doesn't realize that is in for a world of hurt.

[Old Professer]

The lush wedding ceremonies come at a cost on the other end, too. Aren't the guests expected to bring gifts?

[Grammy]

Mr G and I got married 10 days after we announced it. It cost us very little.

Today, I bake and decorate high end wedding cakes. I make more than 10 times the cost of my wedding in a week.

[Petronski]

Good grief: blowing the house downpayment on a glorified 'party' is not an act of love. Rather than setting most of that aside to help fund their life together (a sign of commitment), these people are blowing it on instant gratification. Twenty-six grand? That's obscene.

[ruiner]

Ms. Ruiner and I are planning a wedding (May 21).

It sucks very badly to plan one a wedding. We also have a spreadsheet. The first thing I learned with the help of the spreadsheet, is that when people tell you their wedding was 20k you can add 25% to that price in cost of stamps for the mailings, misc. decorations, parent's gifts, groom/bride attendant gifts, and all the other miscellaneous items.

I would say almost half our wedding cost is associated with random items that cost a few hundred dollars each. Most people don't "mentally" tabulate that stuff.

[RoseofTexas]

$26,000 can be a partial down payment on a house...
I'm scared to think what a wedding will cost in five years from now?...scary!!

[SuziQ]

“It's important to stay focused on spending a lifetime together and not just a day,” Tarantino says of the planning process. “It's about your relationship with your spouse and your relationship with God. Stay away from the magazines and the TV shows, and be involved with each other.”
“The focus has moved to the bride's dress, the size of the ring or how many people are at the reception, when it needs to be the exact opposite,” he says.

It's been my experience that the more lavish the wedding and number of attendants, the shorter the duration of the marriage.

[BizzeeMom]

We did much the same as you--we eloped over a long weekend and had a dinner/reception for the immediate family at a nice restaurant later.

The total cost of our weekend away plus the reception was maybe $2,000. We are both pragmatic people and preferred to put our money into a house. It was one of the best decisions we've made.

[SuziQ]

I didn't get the big huge wedding gene (I think I got the big huge butt gene instead ;-)).

Are you a long lost relative? ;o)

[ItsOurTimeNow]

What you're seeing is the direct result of "Lifetime" and all the terrible Hollywood Romantic Comedies that by and large give women a false perception of love, romance, excitement, and marriage.

Having a large, extravagant wedding with all the bells and whistles does not guarantee anyone a blissful marriage.

I think ours cost us just a little over $900, and I wouldn't change a thing about my relationship with my wife (6 years this summer)

[Centurion2000]

26K for a wedding ? WTF ???

[Logophile]

“Spending your whole life savings makes for a dream wedding, but it's not the (blueprint) for a healthy marriage,” Duckett says.

Words of wisdom.

Could it be that some couples spend so lavishly on their wedding because they figure it will be the high point of their marriage?

[Gingersnap]

My husband I go to a lot of weddings and they are usually nothing more than a chance to publicly display how much money a couple can burn up in 6 hours.

We got married in the college chapel (discount), got flowers, music and photos as gifts from friends. My wedding dress was $200.00, husband borrowed a three-piece suit. Had appetizer foods on lawn in front of chapel.

Total cost: no debt at all, little stress, and 23 years of love.