Posted on 04/15/2005 6:31:16 AM PDT by bedolido
I don't have the guts to post this as a separate thread, but this place seems appropriate:
A Texan is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar announcing his wife has produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Texan just shrugs, "That's about average down home, folks...like I said, my boy's a typical Texas baby boy."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW!" We heard one woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say you're the father of that typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So how much does he weigh now?
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"
The Texas father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had'm circumcised"
I liked that bit, but it still doesn't beat the ad for Colon Blow/Super Colon Blow.
Just ask any school-aged kid if he/she knows how much two bits is. How much you want to bet you'll get a blank stare from about 99% of 'em? I'll bet you 25 cents.
Oh yes! One of the best ever...and when they hit the bump and he makes the 'cut', the rabbi says..."Poifict!"
Probably just the tip of the iceberg, as it were.
I remember that skit. The guy playing the driver, who's name I forget, jumped his eyebrows up which made the whole thing work.
Was reading this over, and an Enzyte commercial popped up on the TV.
Somehow, it just seemed so wrong.
Bob from Enzyte would be disappointed to hear you say that.
.."just don't Sneeze"...Ahcoo..Ouch!
Yes, he would be.
But under the circumstances, I think he would understand.
"OK fellas, whip 'em out!!!"
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"Now, here's Bob..."
Can someone please explain the ethical difference between cutting off the prepuce of a boy's penis without a valid medical indication and cutting off the prepuce of a girl's clitoris without a valid medical indication?
All together now....
Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner…
That is what I’d truly like to be… Cuz
If I were an Oscar Meyer weiner…
Everyone would be in love with me!
Yeah, nothing says "PARTY!" quite like a knife to the genitals.
An old doc retires, and goes to a luggage maker with all the foreskins he removed from his years of practice and asks the guy to make him something from them.
He comes back a week later and the guy brings out a wallet.
"A wallet, I give you 40 years worth of foreskins and you make me a lousy wallet?"
" Hey not so fast. If you rub it a little it turns into a steamer trunk...."
Was that followed by a "High C" commercial? ;-)
Now we know why so many of them are so easily convinced to become suicide bombers.
Are you serious or just trying to make waves?
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