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Mark Steyn - Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
The Spectator ^ | June 1, 2005 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 06/01/2005 10:34:25 AM PDT by quidnunc

Vengeance is mine, saith the Sith, whith thoundth like Violet Elizabeth Bott. No such luck. Instead, it’s George Lucas, with what he insists is the final film in the Star Wars sextet. My guess is the first film in the new Star Wars septet will be opening circa 2008. Anyway, Revenge of the Sith is, so Lucas assures us, a ‘tragedy’. It might have been wise to have stationed an announcer at every movie house to announce this fact over the PA system since it eluded the audience I saw it with last weekend. When the Sith hits the fan, the fan bursts out laughing. Oh, to be sure, they were diverted by the opening dogfight and Obi-Wan Kenobi riding a wild four-legged space beast to hunt down General Grievous. But they were howling with laughter through all the so-called ‘tragic’ elements. When Senator-Queen Padmé (Natalie Portman) reveals that she’s pregnant, her secret husband Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) reacts with an eerie glassy-eyed expression as if he’s hypnotised himself trying to remember the next line. Eventually, Lucas prompts him and he utters the words, ‘I’ll have the club sandwich.’ No, wait. That’s just what it sounds like. He actually says: ‘You’re so … beautiful.’

‘It’s only because I’m so in love,’ says Padmé tonelessly, like a spy giving the reply password.

‘No,’ says Anakin. ‘I’m so in love. With you,’ he adds helpfully, just in case Padmé figures it’s the hot-looking Wookie strolling by in the background.

At this, my fellow theatergoers exploded with guffaws of derision. May the farce be with you! The final descent of Ian McDiarmid’s Chancellor Palpatine into Darth Hammitup brought on more laffs, as did the moment when Anakin attempts to talk Padmé into joining him over on the Dark Side: ‘Together you and I can rule the galaxy,’ he snarls. Well, tries to snarl.

‘Obi-Wan was right. You’ve changed,’ says Princess Padmé. ‘I don’t know you any more.’ He used to look like Princess Di flashing those big eyes from under his hair. But suddenly he looks like Princess Di with too much kohl and in a peevish mood. What can this mean?

-snip-


TOPICS: Editorial; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: marksteyn; moviereview; revengeofthesith; starwars
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To: Hatteras
Princess Leia put the Death Star plans and a message into R2D2, giving him instructions to bring it to Obi-Wan on Tantoonine. R2 took a life pod off the ship and C3PO jumped on board for the ride, as Darth Vadar and his forces had just taken over Leia's imperial flyer.

They landed on Tantoonine, but were captured while trying to look for Obi-Wan and eventually sold to Luke's family. R2 was still programmed to find Obi-Wan, and took off after Luke removed his restraining bolt. C3PO and Luke went after, thereby encountering Obi-Wan and bringing all the characters together to save the Princess.

141 posted on 06/01/2005 5:41:05 PM PDT by TheWriterTX (Proud Retosexual Wife of 12 Years)
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To: The_Reader_David
The Ewoks were truely lame.

The Ewoks were a last minute change.

The original script called for the Moon of Endor to be the home of the Wookies, not the Ewoks. Just before going into production Lucas came to the conclusion that the audience would not accept Chewbacca coming from a primitive civilization, so Ewoks were created to replace the Wookies. Note the similarity of their names.

It was very important to Lucas that the Empire be destroyed by primitives. I think that this give insight to a core belief of most liberals. Technology bad, primitive good. It goes along with wealth bad, poverty good, and educated bad, ignorant good.

142 posted on 06/01/2005 5:46:15 PM PDT by Crusher138 (Support capitalism. Shop, buy, rinse, repeat.)
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To: ScreamingFist; Kirkwood
"Nuit et brouillard" In English.." Night and fog" is pretty much a cinema verite documentary concerning film evidence of the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps.

It is pretty gruesome stuff to watch, and I have found that 20 minute or so film to be quite unsettling. More so than the benign Spielberg film "Schindler's list" which I thank you will not watch again just as a few other flicks which are rather nightmarish in their content. I am not in denial, I just do not need that crap in my life. I already know it is real.

Regarding "Night and Fog" there is a commentary in French, but it is scarcely government subsidized art. Perhaps you have it confused with something else.

Oh, and perhaps there are some who find film documentation of war atrocities to be boring, but frankly, I am not interested in the opinion of such juveniles, and I certainly do not care what such might think of me.
143 posted on 06/01/2005 5:49:04 PM PDT by Radix (Having the best Free Republic Tag Lines since...what time is it anyhow?)
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To: eyespysomething
I was just glad that it was Ewen McGregor who had the lines that had to be delivered best. At the end, when he was yelling at Anakin "You were like my brother!!!"

I agree. I came home and watched the DVD of A New Hope right after seeing Episode 3 and this added a whole new dimension to Obi Wan telling Luke about his father and the fight between the old Obi Wan and Darth Vader.

144 posted on 06/01/2005 5:51:25 PM PDT by flada (Y2K? What are you selling, chicken or sex jelly?)
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To: dmanLA

Obi-Wan didn't say 'moral', just absolutes. C'mon give Lucas a break on that one: from the moment Yoda appeared on screen, it was clear the Jedi were other-galactic Zen martial arts monks. Let them have the Buddhist 'beyond this and that', and their Taoist bit of yin amid the yang and vice-versa.


145 posted on 06/01/2005 5:54:02 PM PDT by The_Reader_David (Christ is Risen! Christos Anesti! Khristos Voskrese! Al-Masih Qam! Hristos a Inviat!)
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To: LS

Yeah, I liked it too. I liked the way it tied to the original Star Wars at the end.


146 posted on 06/01/2005 5:57:27 PM PDT by Redleg Duke (Don't let Terri's death be in vain!)
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To: Radix

"Oh, and perhaps there are some who find film documentation of war atrocities to be boring, but frankly, I am not interested in the opinion of such juveniles, and I certainly do not care what such might think of me."

Yeah, you are certainly mature.


147 posted on 06/01/2005 6:08:10 PM PDT by Kirkwood
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To: MadIvan; marajade

Commander Cody,the time has come.
Execute OrderSixty-six....


148 posted on 06/01/2005 6:09:18 PM PDT by Senator_Palpatine
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To: Kirkwood
"Yeah, you are certainly mature."

Please tell me about some mature posting some other time.

Such posts as this....

"Profoundly BORING!!!!"

I have done a lot of research and study concerning cinema, and I have studied certain other languages in order to help me understand more clearly the special nuances of the idioms of different languages in order to help me understand the art form. You find that boring and that is fine. Please let us diverge paths now.

Be well!

149 posted on 06/01/2005 6:19:21 PM PDT by Radix (Having the best Free Republic Tag Lines since...what time is it anyhow?)
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To: dmanLA

Well, that's one of the flaws. Also, the theme of redemption by love was secondary in the Leia/Han story.

When Han blasted Credo in the Cantina in IV, you knew he was a scoundrel. But then George went and ruined that too.


150 posted on 06/01/2005 6:40:03 PM PDT by I still care (America is not the problem - it is the solution..)
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To: Crusher138

Ian Mc Diarmid alluded to that theory in an interview that was part of an article on "Sith"in, I believe, "Entertainment" Magazine


151 posted on 06/01/2005 8:18:35 PM PDT by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: dmanLA

Actually, he just said "absolutes", didn't use the word "moral".


152 posted on 06/01/2005 8:20:08 PM PDT by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: Radix
What I find profoundly boring are those films that fail the fundamental task of entertaining the audience. Some filmmakers and film critics understand this concept, but others clearly don't.
153 posted on 06/01/2005 9:06:53 PM PDT by Kirkwood
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To: RepoGirl

One of the other things I loved about Vader in the first trilogy was that he never rushed anywhere. Same measured tread, same implacable purpose. Seemed to have lost the impulsiveness and 'hot' anger of his youth, replaced it more with the will he shows after crawling up from the lava. He radiated overwhelming, but controlled power, demonstrating his devolpment as a Sith.My favorite scene in Jedi was his talk with Luke on Endor. You could sense his weariness, and his realization that after all the years, he didn't control the Dark Side, it was controlling him.


154 posted on 06/02/2005 3:50:09 AM PDT by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: Charles Martel

only in the special edition trilogy.. the original 4-5-6 trilogy it was the weightlifter guy materialized as Anakin's force ghost....


155 posted on 06/02/2005 6:41:29 AM PDT by Schwaeky (Attention Liberal Catholics---The Caffeteria is officially and permanently CLOSED!)
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To: PzLdr
We watched the Revenge of the Jedi last night. It's still not my favorite, in fact the little teddy bears really, really annoyed me.

Still, after seeing Sith, I admit that some of Jedi makes a little more sense and has a little more resonance now. Have you read the Darth Side? It's absolutely hilarious, and it looks at the events in Star Wars from Vader's point of view.

156 posted on 06/02/2005 7:02:21 AM PDT by RepoGirl (You can ban my rottweiler when you can pry her from my cold dead hands...)
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To: dmanLA
But according to Obi-Wan, "only Siths think in moral absolutes".

That itself is an absolute.

157 posted on 06/02/2005 7:06:12 AM PDT by eyespysomething (Peace - that brief moment in history where everyone stands around reloading.)
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To: RepoGirl

No. Where can I get it?


158 posted on 06/02/2005 8:36:12 AM PDT by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: Schwaeky
Actually, the guy they took the mask of of in Jedi was not the guy who had (largely) played Vader in all three movies [David Prowse]. The unmasked gentleman was an actor named Sebastian Shaw. Those were his only scenes in the entire saga.Lucas and Prowse had problems going back to the original STAR WARS, when Lucas toyed without having the the actors who played Vader, C3PO , R2D2 and Chewie in the credits. They butted heads again when Prowse complained that neither he, Daniels, Baker or Mayhew were given profit points like, Hamill, Guiness, Ford and Fisher.Prowse was not told they were using James Earl Jones' voice after Prowse dubbed his lines, either.In EMPIRE, a stunt man [I forget the gentleman's name-he played the rather large THUG in Temple of Doom] did the light saber duels. Lucas seems to have believed Prowse gave away the ending of Jedi to the British press. Prowse denied it. According to Prowse, he found out he wouldn't be in the death scenes from either a reporter or a friend in the crew (I forget which). In any case, Lucas stuck it to him whenever he could.
159 posted on 06/02/2005 8:46:42 AM PDT by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: Xenalyte; quidnunc; Hap; humblegunner
While I did like most of the movie, I have to agree with the reviewer on the scenes between Anakin and Padme. I've seen more convincing acting on Skinamax.
160 posted on 06/02/2005 8:52:19 AM PDT by Bacon Man (Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.)
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