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Mark Steyn: Tales from Dark Side don't live up to hype
Chicago Sun Times ^ | June 5, 2005 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 06/05/2005 2:32:11 AM PDT by mal

One by one, the landmark epics of the 1970s are tying up the loose ends -- alas, not always in ways that quite support the great mythic power invested in them. In ''Revenge of the Sith,'' George Lucas brings the ''Star Wars'' cycle to a close by revealing how Anakin Skywalker went over to the Dark Side, transformed himself into Darth Vader, destroyed the Republic and consigned it to the mad imperial ambitions of Chancellor Palpatine -- all because, er, he was a bit worried his beloved Senator Padme might die in childbirth. If Senator Padme had been like Senator Rodham and had a socialized health care reform bill ready to roll, history might have been very different.

(Excerpt) Read more at suntimes.com ...


TOPICS: Editorial; Government; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: deepthroat; feltgate; marksteyn

1 posted on 06/05/2005 2:32:12 AM PDT by mal
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To: mal

Excellent, as always. But I was sort of expecting a movie review!


2 posted on 06/05/2005 3:11:49 AM PDT by jocon307
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To: jocon307
Excellent, as always. But I was sort of expecting a movie review!

I think it could qualify as a movie review of All the President's Men.
3 posted on 06/05/2005 3:16:02 AM PDT by advance_copy (Stand for life, or nothing at all)
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To: jocon307

I saw the movie yesterday. I couldn't get into it. Lucas et al make no attempt at honest science fiction. The rules of good SF require some consistency with science or at least common sense. Later in the movie, there is a scenr where two main characters are having surgery using super sophisticated surgical robots. Both patients scream in pain during the procedure because apparently they didn't discovered anasthesia before conquering faster-than-light travel. They fight six inches above a lake of molten lava without sweating. Missiles in a vacuum use fins to turn, but a finless crippled space ship shaped like a bullet is able to land without power by "pulling up" in atmosphere.

The whole reason for Anakin turning to the dark side doesn't make sense. The shots at the bush administration were blatant too. (Skywalker: "If your not with us, you're our enemy" Response: "Only a Sith speaks in absolutes"


4 posted on 06/05/2005 3:35:05 AM PDT by Soliton (Alone with everyone else.)
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To: Soliton

"Both patients scream in pain during the procedure because apparently they didn't discovered anasthesia before conquering faster-than-light travel."

Oh dear. I guess that explains why he was so worried about the wife. I'm not a big sci fi person, but I will always remember the real excitement of seeing the first Star Wars movie, it was like nothing else before it. One sequel would have been enough I'm afraid.


5 posted on 06/05/2005 3:37:46 AM PDT by jocon307
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To: jocon307
it also wasn't funny... the first Star Wars had humor and the Harrison Ford smirk.

This was just a bad story. With bad dialog ....... just like I had by the shores of Lake Naboo.... blech!

6 posted on 06/05/2005 4:00:42 AM PDT by Dick Vomer (liberals suck......... but it depends on what your definition of the word "suck" is.)
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To: jocon307
Excellent, as always. But I was sort of expecting a movie review!

He's done one of those, too. It's really savage and funny. I've forgotten where I read it -- try steynonline.

7 posted on 06/05/2005 4:10:14 AM PDT by prion (Yes, as a matter of fact, I AM the spelling police)
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To: Dick Vomer; prion

"With bad dialog ....... just like I had by the shores of Lake Naboo.... blech!"

The reviewer for The New Yorker (I think it was Anthony Lane, not sure, but he's the only one they've got who can really do a good pan) just flamed this movie to death. He too complained of the bad dialoge and made the point that it is really important to be able to make up good names for things if you're going to create whole universes, and Lucas fails in that. "Sith" he particularly complained about and for good reason imho.

He also totally trashed Yoda, called for his destruction. It was just funny as heck to read. Best review I've read in that mag for quite a while. But that's me, nothing I like better than a well deserved and well delivered pan.

I'll have to look for Steyn's. He can be cutting better than anyone, he even tops John Simon, he's devoid of bitterness and filled with evil glee when he gives 'em "what for" as Grandma used to say.


8 posted on 06/05/2005 4:55:28 AM PDT by jocon307
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To: jocon307

Yawn.

I'll stick with the ORIGIONAL "Twilight Zone."


9 posted on 06/05/2005 5:08:21 AM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar
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To: mal
It turns out that Deep Throat was merely a career law enforcement official leaking information about the target of an investigation. Nothing very unusual about that -- around the world, rinky-dink police departments and local prosecutors do it every day of the week -- and, being so routine, there's nothing very heroic about it either.

An often effective technique for destroying the target. It is illegal for a reason.

10 posted on 06/05/2005 5:10:39 AM PDT by NutCrackerBoy
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To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

"I'll stick with the ORIGIONAL "Twilight Zone."

Rod Serling RULES!


11 posted on 06/05/2005 5:12:56 AM PDT by jocon307
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To: jocon307
but I will always remember the real excitement of seeing the first Star Wars movie, it was like nothing else before it.

I recall hating the end of the first movie and have avoided the rest.

A space age society and the princess comes out of a cave on a mountain side to wave at her supporters standing in the dirt?

12 posted on 06/05/2005 5:13:33 AM PDT by Mark was here (My tag line was about to be censored.)
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To: Mrs Mark

"I recall hating the end of the first movie and have avoided the rest."

But have you watched "Spaceballs", Mel Brooks' spoof of Star Wars? If you like silly things you might enjoy it. It's a tad dated, but in a way that makes it a period piece. Joan Rivers as the lady C3PO is pretty good, Dot Matrix is her name.

My kid loves this movie so I've seen it about 1000 times.


13 posted on 06/05/2005 5:17:33 AM PDT by jocon307
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To: jocon307
Thanks for the tip. I just looked up that review - it had me laughing and chortling.
14 posted on 06/05/2005 5:21:16 AM PDT by P.O.E.
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To: P.O.E.

Thanks for the link, it was worth reading again. Here's a good bit "The general opinion of “Revenge of the Sith” seems to be that it marks a distinct improvement on the last two episodes, “The Phantom Menace” and “Attack of the Clones.” True, but only in the same way that dying from natural causes is preferable to crucifixion."

LOL, he HATED it.

I'll have to try posting/linking some stuff from The New Yorker. I've never checked out their site, they are such disgusting libs, but the subscription is a gift from my boss (bit of a political joke between us) so I enjoy the parts I enjoy and leave the rest. But it might be fun to subject them to some freeperizing.

And the reviews and stuff can be very good, as Mr. Lane so amply demonstrates here. I guess that bit of "I love you" "No, I love YOU" dialoge is a real howler, as I've seen it highlighted in several reviews.


15 posted on 06/05/2005 5:41:43 AM PDT by jocon307
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To: Soliton
Lucas et al make no attempt at honest science fiction...

Very nice post. You might enjoy this site:

Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics

16 posted on 06/05/2005 5:47:07 AM PDT by Skylab
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To: Soliton
I saw the movie last week and found it soulless and boring, with the opening space battle and the encounter at the lava lake being the most ludicrous and overly long.
Why Yoda, the Jedi master, the incredibly old and wisest creature in the known universe has never learned to put the subject and verb at the beginning of a sentence is a dark side mystery to me.
The other mystery is why Lucas, who showed such promise with the first Star Wars movie, has not been able to get the human drama/technical whiz bang balance right in all the subsequent sequels.
17 posted on 06/05/2005 5:55:02 AM PDT by finnigan2
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To: mal
By coincidence, the Watergate break-in occurred on June 17, less than seven weeks after Hoover's death and [FBI outsider] Gray's appointment [as acting director]. The FBI took charge of the federal investigation at the same time that the administration was trying to limit its scope. ''Therein lies the origin of Deep Throat.''

It's called date coincidence -- a valid investigatory principle.

18 posted on 06/05/2005 6:32:49 AM PDT by GVnana
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To: jocon307

Must admit the New Yorker is one of my favorite "waiting room" magazines - I'd never buy it, but some of those famous cartoons are really clever.


19 posted on 06/05/2005 7:08:27 AM PDT by P.O.E.
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To: jocon307
My kid loves this movie so I've seen it about 1000 times.

"I'm surrounded by a$$holes!"

20 posted on 06/05/2005 7:20:26 AM PDT by WarEagle (Karl Rove made him do it!)
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To: finnigan2

"Why Yoda, the Jedi master, the incredibly old and wisest creature in the known universe has never learned to put the subject and verb at the beginning of a sentence is a dark side mystery to me."

Read the review p.o.e. links in post #14, there's some bad language, but I think you'll find it sympathetic to your views.


21 posted on 06/05/2005 7:24:43 AM PDT by jocon307
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To: Soliton
Only a Sith speaks in absolutes

Whoever says, "Only a Sith speaks in absolutes," must also be a Sith because they are speaking in absolutes.

22 posted on 06/05/2005 8:08:33 AM PDT by syriacus (MSM isn't idolizing Felt 100%. They must be afraid that some Liberal rocks will be turned over.)
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To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

I'm a huge fan of the original Twilight Zone and original Outer Limits, but I'll always have a soft spot for Tales from the Darkside :)


23 posted on 06/05/2005 8:31:33 AM PDT by RightWingAtheist (Creationism is not conservative!)
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