Posted on 07/31/2005 3:19:52 PM PDT by mlmr
If sharing experience and insight makes people "arrogant," I guess all communication is inherently offensive.
On the other hand, I might be the most pathetic, shopworn, slip-slidin', substandard, ditzy person in the forum --- now there's a topic for a panel discussion! -- but the truth is still true, and saying so is not arrogance.
As for your personal relationship, I know nothing about it and I have never commented on it. If you are happy and bonded with your wife, I rejoice with you. You have a precious gift of love. May you and your missus have many, many blessings!
That's what the research shows. You're welcome.
I am sorry you took offense at what I said. I do not understand why you are angry at me since I said nothing harsh at all.
The question was asked and I answered it. I did not seek anyone out, nor did I meddle in your life.
If you wish to live together without benefit of marriage, that is your business.
If someone asks me about the Biblical teaching on the matter, I will give it.
I used no venom, no name calling or anything else to bring your reaction.
I have worked with many people who were living together during my years of ministry and understand the struggle and situation. I have married several of them.
I am friends with my neighbor who has lived with two women. He has not asked me what I think and I have not told him.
Please be kind enough not to include me in among the venemous.
I also rent an apartment. Our first tenents who stayed almost 4 years were married and had a young son, they had another child while living here and finally bought their own home.
Our second were married and had a child while living here but could no longer afford our area and are moving down South.
Our newest is a divorced mother of 2 young girls. She is dating a man who owns a home but is not ready to make a commitment to him at this point even after he invited her to live with him with the children.
I consider myself lucky in renting.
Keep looking around and I only rent due too word of mouth with references from other people I know. I do not think I could rent to a complete stranger.
It's a well argued point. Trouble is, I don't know anyone, besides you, who thinks that way. I've certainly never had thoughts in my head remotely like those you describe.
As far as I'm concerned saying anyone has a "shelf life" is offensive. What if that had been in reference to the disabled? And it most certainly is sexist to say that about one sex and not say it about the other. It definitely infers that women are only valuable has long as they are able to bear children. Especially when you read the rest of the posts with it.
Apparently your definition of sexist is not the same as mine.
Thank you. There are sexist elements in society which radically devalue us as women as we get older. We both know this is true, and we both know it is wrong. There are many people who radically devalue the disabled. That's a fact. But we know it's wrong.
Noticing that --- and saying it --- does not make one a sexist; any more than saying "Young black fatherless males are the first suspects when there's trouble on the street" makes one a racist.
Fair enough?
You and I may feel that way, but perhaps others are not aware they have this attitude.
Have a good one.
In my health book it talked about the five different types of families.
FIVE?
I can think of one type of family:
Mom+Dad+kids
I believe that can be done without being offensive, rude, or overly judgemental about specific situations. Your comments about the arrangements being wrong are, IMHO, correct...your extension of that into the poster's personal motivations and impact to his children went well beyond that.
Thank you --- may I call you "Hair"?
The zig-zags of my own life have brought me to a rather intense and lasting interest in the spiritual and mind/body connections of sexual intercourse and marriage. Though I tend to be rather muddled myself, I have had the big advantage of having met people who were wise, deep, and sane on the subject, and willing to talk about it.
Fortunately, some of them also write about it. If you want to get into it a little deeper, try Googling "Federica Mathewes-Green" and "J. Budziszewski" and "Sex." Should turn up something worth reading.
There's also an intriguing book that touches on the "language of the body" idea, by Lauren Winner: Real Sex: The Naked Truth Abou Chastity.
See if this link works for you:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/158743069X/102-9190237-0617733?v=glance
This is honest, genuine stuff, and doesn't read like it was written by somebody who starches their underwear.
It's available from Amazon.com for under $12. Just think, for the cost of a meal out, you could have a heapin' helpin' of insight that'll deepen your mind and heart about the man-woman thing. Now I think that's sexy.
Lots of stuff that could ruin a marriage. E.g. he always goes tot eh bathroom in the middle of the night, she doesn't like football, etc.
/sarcasm
Mrs. Don-o, thank you for that. The noise I keep hearing on this thread is that "a shelf-life" implies that women are ONLY valuable as child bearers. I agree with that statement, EXCEPT for the word "ONLY," which I never said, or implied. (Nor did Cyborg, btw.)
Women ARE valuable as child bearers, among many other ways. Trouble is, of all the wonderful ways a woman is valuable to a man, that one has a time limit, a running clock....a shelf life. Everything else that is wonderful about a woman improves, but that one important aspect runs for a while and then ends.
If a man reaches forty and hasn't married yet (maybe career or because he's been in the military), but he wants kids, he's almost got no choice but to marry a younger woman. If he wants a big family, or if he wants them spread out, he'll be looking for someone much younger (maybe even fifteen-twenty years, as bizarre as that might sound). It's just reality.
If a couple is marrying later and don't want children, it's still a reality, but it is also quite irrelevant.
Having a family is one of the most important things a young married couple does in the marriage, so one important priority will be the fertility of the two young spouses.
For the young woman who wants to have a big family, early is important, and timing is critical.
But there will always be people on an internet forum who want to pick and twist and sneer, and they're unavoidable--and unimportant, frankly. And kinda sad.
You knew what I meant though, and most of the reasonable people on this thread did too.
fickle fingers...
If all you can find is the first half, I'll trade ya!
Best Buy and Circuit City are tops for electronics
I am spreading the word about my apartment. I am surprised at the lacksidasical air about sex by the churchgoing.
It's a well argued point. Trouble is, I don't know anyone, besides you, who thinks that way. I've certainly never had thoughts in my head remotely like those you describe.
What Mrs Don-o says is the foundational reasoning behind why I only want people who hold to marriage or chasity in my apartment. This is how I raise my children and I am far from alone. The Chasity Backlash is not about being anal retentive, it is about acknowledging the reality of men and women as loving beings.
Good luck.
Let me guess, to see if you're compatible?
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