Posted on 08/18/2005 7:54:00 AM PDT by pookie18
NEW YORK, New York --- Osama bin Laden, long thought to be hiding in Pakistan or Afghanistan, is now thought to have been hiding out in the newsroom at CNN. The savvy news veteran has apparently been a senior editor at CNN for over two years, but slipped away before FBI agents could apprehend him. The FBI is keeping an eye on other known al Qaeda cells, like The New York Times, CBS and NPR to see if bin Laden surfaces there.
"He was actually hoping to end the war on terrorism by producing anti-American and anti-military news stories," said one FBI agent. "Unfortunately for him, no one noticed a difference in the programming at CNN after he joined. He was only discovered when he was reprimanded for producing a news story that called Iraqi terrorists 'insurgents' instead of 'freedom fighters'. He snapped and cut off his supervisor's head. We're hot on his trail and trying track him down. He was going by the name Mohammed Mohammed."
"I can't believe Mohammed Mohammed was really bin Laden," said one of Osama's former co-workers at CNN. "He was such a great guy. We always talked about how much Bush sucks and how we wish Israel would get nuked and how we secretly hated people in the military. Honestly, I miss my friend and co-worker. He made some very valuable contributions to our news coverage."
Thought it was scrapple face.
Rumor has it that he is now working for Wisconsin's junior DemonRAT Senator, Russ Slimeroad.
I thought he was working for Dan Rather.
I saw Osama driving a load of seagull up the pacific coast hwy.
(with appologies to the late Richard Brautigan)
Seriously folks, I think bin Laden's interning at Bill Clinton's office.
No, he's too smart and smooth for a hack like Dan The Newsman.
This would explain a lot!!
Thanks for making my day!
I don't for a minute believe that this is satire. It fits with everything I know about CNN and the MSM. They probably hired Bin Laden because he fit their affirmative action profile. They needed a person of middle eastern descent who was over 6'5" and who owned a pink cadillac.
Not to mention that his politics were just right.
Very good!
I guess this means we'll have Bin Laden soon, seeing how they know where he is.
He is surrounded by (and protected by) Al-Queda terrorists who are disguised as journalists.
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