Posted on 09/06/2005 2:18:38 PM PDT by frankjr
Fake News Alert!!
Souter has Bikini Wax Melt Down
By Libi E. Ral
According to sources close to Supreme Court Justice David Souter, he was unable to attend today’s funeral for Chief Justice William Rehnquist due to a bikini wax accident.
A beautician, who requested anonymity, said Justice Souter had a long stand weekly appointment with the "Wax on, Wax Off" salon in Baltimore, but she said he met with an unfortunate accident that left him feeling a little "Brazilian".
"He's very hairy, so this can't he unexpected," said the informant.
Souter was unavailable for comment, according to court officials.
Stay tuned for more insulting stories here on the Fake News Network....
What possible reason could there be for him not only skipping the ceremony but also not writing a statement? He has been on this Court with this distinguished colleague for many years. Being heartless doesn't make up for being stupid.
Methinks Souter needs the services of a shrink, quick!
"Did you see the film clips? I commented to my husband that Roberts even does Pall bearing well. He marched as straight as a sting without missing a beat while the others were bobbing, weaving, stumbling, and getting out of step."
Fingers crossed that Roberts is one of US and not one of THEM....
Souter is an infuriating piece of work. Does anyone suspect that he is gay or just a bachelor? I suppose weasels just have a different biological makeup is the answer.
"You editorialized that they "skipped" the ceremony -- a statement that implies a willful decision not to attend, an irresponsible accusation not corroborated by the available facts."
skip ( P ) Pronunciation Key (skp)
v. skipped, skip·ping, skips
v. intr.
6) Informal. To fail to attend: We skipped science class again.
Now, pull your panties out of the bunch they are in and relax.
But I will ammend my initial comment to "Kennedy skipped, Souter made a willful decision not to attend"
Better?
Maybe the source of Souter's irritation is that when Lawrence v. Texas came up, Rehnquist asked if anyone needed to recuse himself and everyone looked at Souter.
Then, maybe in order to break the awkward silence, Justice Thomas broke the ice and told the joke about the Coke can...."hey, anyone ever heard the one about..."
Could it be possible that Rehnquist and Souter had a falling out over the Texas sodomy case. Maybe Rehnquist told Souter that he should recuse himself from the case since Souder is such an ardent practitioner.
You changed a headline dishonestly, and you're telling me to "relax?" To use your example, Justices Kennedy and Souter didn't "skip" the ceremony as kids would "skip" science class to go fishing, they were out of town (out of the country, in Kennedy's case) and couldn't get to the ceremony. There's enough to attack Kennedy and Souter for without simply making up stuff out of whole cloth.
A long time ago Souter asked to see the Chief's "briefs" and he refused. Those Dems, always gracious in grieving (see Paul Wellstone)
Join me in showing our appreciation for the legal stylings of, and in putting our hands together--give it up, won't you? How about a big welcome for:
John Roberts and the Supremes!
"I'm leavin', (He's leavin') on that midnight train to DC, A one-way ticket back (oh oh oh) You know he will (uh huh uh huh, ooh ooh ooh)"
I wonder if Souter will be at the funeral tomorrow.
"You changed a headline dishonestly"
How so? I posted the actual headline and added my commentary in parenthesis. I am new here, but that seems to be a standard practice. Recent headline examples:
"Hurricane fallout hurts Bush, could hurt Republicans (BARF and PUKE from Roto-Reuters)"
"Indonesia - Three Christian women jailed for ‘proselytising’ (Religion of Peace Alert!)"
"Five questions for Judge John G. Roberts Jr. [Brilliant, proper questions]"
"Listening to the Times? (NY Times opposed flood-control projects in New Orleans!)"
"Rasmussen: Cindy Sheehan: 31% Favorable (From the Hey Remember Me DustBin of Liberal Media Failures)"
But for future reference, please let your pal Souter know that there are these things called "airplanes". They are great for traveling long distances quickly. Now get back to un-bunching those panties. I ban you from reading any of my future posts!!!
The difference between your commentary and other commentary is that your commentary was wrong. Don't be wrong and my panties will stay unbunched.
Didn't I ban you from reading my posts? I am guessing you read the last one since you responded. And yes, they both still skipped (well Souter was a willful blow-off). But if you do not want to believe that, more power to ya! I won't be angry at you because of it, I am here to help you.
Souter didn't even issue a statement. Kennedy did.
Even though I disagree with so many of Kennedy's opinions he has class unlike Souter I think him being out of the country has something to do with it. He would have found out Sunday morning and getting back by tuesday morning could be a little tricky. I'm sure he will be there for the funeral.
Souter and Kennedy will be at the funeral. The pressure was too much for Souter.
I suppose they may have ben down in NO evacuating the poor. If they simply stayed away for political reasons, they are nothing more than RAT scum.
Souter: I do not like this very strange Justice deciding how my life and the lives of my fellow Americans should be. I simply do not like it and if push comes to shove and government tried to take my home from me for financial gain for others, well....
Maybe Souter just couldn't get a date.
Fingers crossed PLUS a fervant prayer!
Hmmm, from the article it appears both were out of town. Guess they decided their business which took them out of town was too important for them to book return flights in order to pay their respects.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.