Good Lord! This weasel is still breathing our air!? Where the HECK is Natural Selection when you need it? He's a poster child for Momma's Boys Inc!
Posted on 09/14/2005 8:23:51 AM PDT by FreedomSurge
Trial Of The Century: Keillor V. MNspeak.com
Posted September 14, 2005
A couple weeks ago, this website received, via the appropriately old-fashioned U.S. Postal Service, a cease and desist letter from Garrison Keillor's attorney. Click inside to read the letter and the unfinished saga of the humorless crank.
A Prairie Homeboy Companion
On a Tuesday night two weeks ago, the letter showed up in the mail. It is included below, so you can see for yourself the kind of verbal mastery it takes to make a legal document sound like Keillor's forlorn nostalgic prose.
Let's quickly review the situation: Garrison Keillor -- a liberal comedian! -- is threatening to sue MNspeak -- some blog! -- that uses a t-shirt to poke fun of his mega-gigantic media empire. You'd think we shot Guy Noir or something.
Man, this guy is getting old.
Fighting off the urge to tell everyone on the planet about the old guy's folly, the first thing I decide to do is give him a second chance. I immediately call Keillor's lawyer, and the brief conversation goes something like this:
Me: "Listen, you really don't want to do this. I highly suggest you tell your client to revoke this cease and desist."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "First off, your client has no legal basis for this, and it's clear you're just trying to bully me. Secondly, this is going to make your client look extremely out of touch. I'll even write the headline for you: 'Liberal Comedian Sues Blogger.' Do you really want that?"
Him: "Is that a threat, Mr. Sorgatz?"
Me: "Dear god, no. I'm trying to be nice about this. I'm just telling you to let this go. I've made no real money off this, and there are only a handful of t-shirts left. If you let it go, I'll let it go. This is just going to blow up in your client's face."
Him: "I'll consult with my client."
The lawyer disappears for 10 days, and I assume it's over. Then he calls back late last week to say Keillor still wishes to pursue his cease and desist.
Woebegone Legalities
Exhibit A: This is the t-shirt page (with the "Buy" buttons removed and image redacted).
I have no doubt about where I stand legally. Parody typically falls under Fair Use (or sometimes, the First Amendment), and this is clearly an instance of parody. There are a series of factors involved in the definition of parody, including this: it is probably parody unless a "reasonable person" could mistake the new work [the t-shirt] as the work of the copyright owner [Prairie Home Companion]. To claim copyright infringement would involve arguing (as the cease and desist letter below implies) that some lost soul could find their way to MNspeak.com, click through to the t-shirt, and ignore the message in bold that clearly says "WARNING: This shirt is not associated in any way with Prairie Home Companion, Garrison Keillor, MPR, The Fitzgerald, or, well, anything -- it is PARODY."
In other words, Garrison Keillor would have to prove in court that Minnesotans are stupid.
'Liberal Comedian Sues Blogger'
So what now? I've temporarily honored the cease and desist, but haven't decided how to proceed. Since there were only about 10 shirts left (and I had no plans on reprinting new ones), there's no real economic reason to pursue this. And besides, let's be clear about the scope of what we're actually talking about: a fairly stupid t-shirt with four words on it. In an age of much bigger problems, is this really worth fighting for?
But here's the thing: it annoys the living hell out of me that Garrison Keillor thinks he can bully me. And not only that, he incorrectly invokes our legal system to do it.
I am starting to talk to lawyers about my options, and am filing a report with the ACLU this week. But since this site makes minimal money, I have no plans to pay for legal assistance -- if anyone knows a young sparky first amendment lawyer who wants to investigate a potentially high-profile case (on a pro bono basis), email me at rex@mnspeak.com.
Congratulations Garrison, you've won the round.
I may have to give that round to the challenger on points for having exhibited, with minimal financial loss, the fact that Keillor is a humorless corporate behemoth and not an actual human being.
Did Keillor try to sue Jello Biafra and Mojo Nixon because of their release "Prairie Home Invasion"?
Mojo Nixon - havn't heard that name for years. Saw him with Country Dick Montana. Who can for get the classic "Stuffin Martha's Muffin"?
Put out a "LakeHO Begone!" T-shirt.
garrison is trying to get a PHC movie made and is VERY sensative to the entire image as he hopes to turn it into a Star Wars style movie franchise. He seems Michael Moore as stealing the crown his thinks is his. Hopefully it will be as bad as Al Frankin's Sruart Smally flick.
If I were you, I would push ahead.
Congressman Billybob
Who exactly is the "they" that leave people to drown Sutherland is talking about? "They" protest that this new Gena Davis as president show will not be biased. With Sutherland in it playing the speaker of the House, how can it not be more left wing claptrap?
Regarding Keillor, I wonder if he tried to sue The Simpsons when they lampooned his show and implied neither he nor the show is a bit funny. I loved that.
Keillor was a big clinton flunky from day 1. He showed his true elitist nature after the 2002 election in which he essentially said the people of MN elected Norm Coleman because they were too dumb to know what is good for them.
As a MN transplant to NJ, I first appreciated Mr Keillor as a way to show that MN just wasn't the same as NJ. For example, some NJ-ites assured me that NJ had no more corruption than elsewhere, I was just too stupid to see it back in MN. When I had to explain the Lake Woebegone jokes, they started to see that maybe there was a difference, though they never admitted to the corruption.
However, his fury at Gov. Ventura reminded me so much of the nerd getting mad because the jock got elected student body president that I started noting the other petty jabs he took at conservatives. I can't see beyond his liberalism to his humor anymore. While he talks about the good hearted Scandivians of MN, he is just another liberal elitist and what I once heard as gentle humor sounds like sneering. It was those good hearted Scandinavians and Germans that elected Ventura over yet another preening liberal looking to move to the national stage, and Mr Keillor couldn't forgive them. Maybe he has, but I stopped listening.
Then again, my brother knows more and better Ole and Lena jokes than Mr Keillor will ever provide me.
Everyone Knows the Laws do not matter to Liberals. They make em up as they go!
apparently he can and did bully you.
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