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Rocky Sequel To Knock Out Social Security
National Ledger ^ | 10-19-05 | Chris Davis

Posted on 10/19/2005 7:49:43 AM PDT by smoothsailing

Rocky Sequel to Knock Out Social Security

By Political Satirist Chris Davis

Oct 19, 2005

Los Angeles—For yet a sixth time, there is to be another Rocky sequel.  The film, titled Rocky Balboa, was announced Monday by Columbia Pictures, Revolution Studios and original distributor MGM, which will team up to produce what a press release notes as a return to the style and grit of the 1976 franchise-launching original.

The story will pick up with the fictional prize fighter retired and a widower in a retirement home—meaning no Adrian—who, now broke and after a attempting to overdose on Viagra, agrees to take on Apollo Creed for a third time in a nursing home bout to duke it out for their Social Security retirement.

The hard hitting scenes are said to take the viewers from the streets of Philadelphia to a ring in Los Angeles, California where the fight of the century is to take place.  From the Geritol supplements to the wheelchair access ramp at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, each dramatic minute is reported to keep viewers spellbound to its spine tingling conclusion.  The producers have pulled no punches in bringing yet another heartwarming Rocky sequel that reaches in and grabs the heart of any American that cares about Social Security.  

"Rocky Balboa is about everybody who feels they want to participate in the race of life, rather than be a bystander.  You're never too old to climb a mountain, if that's your desire," said a 59-year old Stallone.  "Yo!  It's also for people that think Social Security is insolvent and should be privatized without penalizing the taxpayers!"

The first Rocky introduced everyone's favorite underdog, a blue-collar, journeyman puncher who goes a full 15 rounds with flamboyant champ Apollo Creed. Although Rocky eventually loses a decision, the film scored a knockout. With a budget of just $1 million, Rocky became one of the top-grossing films of the '70s, pulling in $117 million domestically and $220 million in worldwide ticket sales. It also established the soundbite "Yo, Adrian!," made Stallone a household name, scored nine Oscar nominations (Best Actor and Best Screenplay for Stallone, among them) and won three Academy Awards, including Best Picture.  

Stallone, who wrote all five Rocky movies and directed the second, third and fourth films, has reportedly been working on the script for the sixth go-round for some time now, desperately dealing with Rocky on Medicare. He said he felt the time was right to slip on the gloves one last time given the currents going on in his own life, especially as an aging action star that's broke.  

Stallone's last significant big-screen role came in 2003's Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over; his most high-profile gig of late was hosting NBC's low-rated reality series The Contender, which traded on his Rocky fame, but like Old Mother Hubbard, there's no food in the cupboard.  

"I am drawing on a lot of my feelings that are in synch with many people's feelings about facing the last chapter of their lives and how they want it to be written. Rocky goes through the skepticism of trying to go against the tide and fight Social Security insolvency at the same time," the actor told Daily Variety.  "This film is also for those that have to choose between a hot meal and prescription drugs."

Executive producing will be Robert Chartoff and Irwin Winkler, who oversaw the earlier Rocky pictures, while their sons, Charles and David Winkler and William Chartoff, will produce along with Kevin King.  

Producers are said to be talking with former actor, Carl Weathers, to reprise his role as a wrinkled Apollo Creed.  Rocky, of course, isn't the only muscle-bound hero Stallone is taking out of mothballs. He's also breaking out the dusty bandana for a fourth turn as Rambo. The film is described as "Rambo on a cardiac monitor." Stallone will also write that screenplay.

According to Stallone, filming for the sixth Rocky flick is planned for an early 2006 start—both in Philadelphia and Las Vegas.  After fifteen years, Rocky Balboa fans have waited with baited breath for yet another Rocky sequel.  This time, hair will fall out and false teeth will fly, as Creed and Rocky go at it once again in an attempt to knock out Social Security.

And when Creed said, "Get up out of that wheelchair, Balboa and we'll finish this fight!"  He really meant it.

.......................................

Political Satirist Chris Davis is the author of Elective Decisions and In Defense of Liberty, two political thrillers from the Whiskey Creek Press.

© Copyright by NationalLedger.com


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; News/Current Events; Philosophy; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: mybad; nexttimesearch
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YO!
1 posted on 10/19/2005 7:49:47 AM PDT by smoothsailing
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To: smoothsailing

"He said he felt the time was right to slip on the gloves one last time given the currents going on in his own life, especially as an aging action star that's broke. "

Is this true? He must have had low-8 digit income over his career, I see no excuse for being broke.


2 posted on 10/19/2005 7:57:05 AM PDT by WoofDog123
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To: smoothsailing
This satire would be more effective if the writer got his facts straight. This is the fifth Rocky sequel, not the sixth, and Apollo Creed died in Rocky IV, after getting pummeled by the Russian Ivan Drago.
3 posted on 10/19/2005 7:58:03 AM PDT by Bird Jenkins
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To: Bird Jenkins

drago needs to come back in rocky vi


4 posted on 10/19/2005 7:59:59 AM PDT by philsfan24
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To: smoothsailing
"Rocky Balboa fans have waited with baited breath"

I think he meant "bated."

5 posted on 10/19/2005 8:03:07 AM PDT by El Gran Salseron
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To: El Gran Salseron
LOL! I hope so!
6 posted on 10/19/2005 8:05:53 AM PDT by smoothsailing (Just an old Nam guy)
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To: Bird Jenkins

"The American is small and weak. Destroy him"

What a pep-talk

"I must break you" - Drago


7 posted on 10/19/2005 8:06:03 AM PDT by massgopguy (massgopguy)
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To: Bird Jenkins
This satire would be more effective if the writer got his facts straight. This is the fifth Rocky sequel, not the sixth, and Apollo Creed died in Rocky IV, after getting pummeled by the Russian Ivan Drago.

"If he dies, he dies." /Dragoooooooooooooooooo! DRAGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

8 posted on 10/19/2005 8:09:22 AM PDT by Christian4Bush (FreeRepublic: your educational retreat from the stress of Leftist media jihad.)
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To: Bird Jenkins

Umm get your facts straight, this is the sixth. The fifth was when Tommy Gunn(played by heavyweight Tommy Morrison) was Rockys student who broke off from him because he didnt like being called Rockies clone.


9 posted on 10/19/2005 8:14:26 AM PDT by aft_lizard (This space waiting for a post election epiphany it now is: Question Everything)
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To: aft_lizard

Yeah, but who can blame the guy? Rocky number five was a real stinker!! And on a side note, Tommy came out a couple of years ago to say he had AIDS.


10 posted on 10/19/2005 8:18:00 AM PDT by TightyRighty
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To: aft_lizard

It would be the 6th movie, but the 6th movie is the 5th sequel.

And actually Stalone is trying to drum up support for another Rocky, which frightens me terribly.


11 posted on 10/19/2005 8:18:41 AM PDT by discostu (When someone tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back)
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To: discostu
It would be the 6th movie, but the 6th movie is the 5th sequel.

Thank you. I could never forget a movie as awful as Rocky V. They made Rocky get brain damage, so after all his years of progress since the first film, he was back in the black leather, bouncing that stupid rubber ball and telling Adrian silly knock-knock jokes.

Rocky has been milked to the last drop. Now Rambo on the other hand... they could do a pretty awesome Rambo movie these days, what with the war in the Middle East.

12 posted on 10/19/2005 8:27:51 AM PDT by Bird Jenkins
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To: TightyRighty

I knew that, he also did a charity boxing match in Japan because they were the only ones who would allow a boxer with AIDS to perform.


13 posted on 10/19/2005 8:29:14 AM PDT by aft_lizard (This space waiting for a post election epiphany it now is: Question Everything)
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To: discostu

And actually Stalone is trying to drum up support for another Rocky, which frightens me terribly.>>>

Not me, I have loved the Rocky movies, even the bad ones.


14 posted on 10/19/2005 8:31:48 AM PDT by aft_lizard (This space waiting for a post election epiphany it now is: Question Everything)
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To: aft_lizard

There are good Rocky movies?! Sorry I know it's doctrine within the world of sports movies that Rocky 1 is the best sports movie ever but I found it monotonous except the moments that were unintentially funny, and they just went downhill from there.


15 posted on 10/19/2005 8:36:30 AM PDT by discostu (When someone tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back)
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To: smoothsailing

But Apollo was killed in ROCKY IV! How are they gonna bring him back?


16 posted on 10/19/2005 8:40:34 AM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: Bird Jenkins

Rambo was a lot of fun, huge gaping plot holes but fun. It would be nice to get a couple more action movies staring guys with large pectoral muscles again (ie real action movies). The worst part about modern movies is the general lack of proper action stars.


17 posted on 10/19/2005 8:41:20 AM PDT by discostu (When someone tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back)
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To: discostu
The worst part about modern movies is the general lack of proper action stars.

True. I've come to like The Rock quite a bit in action movies, though. I thought The Rundown was great, and I even enjoyed that Walking Tall remake he did. He seems to be cut from the same cloth as those great 80's action stars.

Speaking of pecs, Stallone was so juiced-up on the roids by Rocky IV, you could pretty much isolate every muscle in his body.

18 posted on 10/19/2005 8:49:28 AM PDT by Bird Jenkins
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To: Rummyfan
LOL! Remember Kirk and the Nexus in Startrek? Hey, it's Hollyweird!
19 posted on 10/19/2005 9:03:44 AM PDT by smoothsailing (Just an old Nam guy)
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To: discostu

You never grew up in my house, my dad was a boxing coach and all of my brothers and me were boxers. We loved the Rocky movies, even if they were bad.


BTW the best sports movie ever was CHamp. Ricky Schroeder crying still makes me get stuff in my eyes.


20 posted on 10/19/2005 9:04:24 AM PDT by aft_lizard (This space waiting for a post election epiphany it now is: Question Everything)
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