An Open Letter to RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman

An Open Letter to RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman Written by Doc Farmer Thursday, October 27, 2005

I’ve been getting a lot of mail from you lately. At least twice a week, I get some sort of impassioned plea by the Republican National Committee, the Republican National Congressional Committee, the Republican National Judicial Committee, the Republican National Left-Handed-Bald-Headed-Buck-Toothed-Anorexic-Sumo-Wrester Committee, etc. All asking for money.

Now, as a political party, there’s nothing wrong with fundraising. You do it, the lib/dem/soc/commies do it, even my own party does it (although we don’t do a $1000 a plate dinner – more like a ten-quid beer bust). But since you’re advertising a product (conservatism) and you’re trying to sell it to me so that you can get my cash, I think it only fair to tell you something important.

I’m sorry to be so blunt, but let’s face it. Congress has done very little to prove that they’re conservative. Hell, it’s hard to figure out if they’re even Republicans these days. With only a few exceptions, virtually ALL the rep/cons in Congress are more like lib/dem/soc/commie-lite. All the socialism with one-third less vertebrae.

When America finally voted the lib/dem/soc/commies out of power in Congress, back in 1994, I was in a pretty good mood. I was looking forward to better control of the profligate spending that is the hallmark of Congress. I was looking forward to some serious ass-kicking in the judicial selection process, to turn away from the “legislating from the bench” you always get with lib/dem/soc/commies. I was looking for smaller government, better military investment, better veterans benefits, and getting rid of the near-communist welfare state that your political opponents have been building since the 1930’s.

In fact, I’m seeing just the opposite. Citizens Against Government Waste (http://www.CAGW.org) “honored” Rep. Ray LaHood (R-IL) as October’s “Porker of the Month.” He’s not the first, nor is he the only rep/con listed in their august and non-partisan site. Our federal budget is rapidly climbing its way toward THREE TRILLION dollars. Twenty years ago, it was less than one-fifth that amount. What the (insert favourite expletive here) kind of conservatism is that? I’ll tell you – it’s LIBERALISM.

And how about standing up to your lib/dem/soc/commie brethren in Congress for a change, eh? Well, if half of that benighted “gang of fourteen” is any indication, you guys are standing on your knees. Let me give you a news flash. YOU WON! Stop acting like you still have to ask permission from the people you beat. Don’t give them equal status in committees. In fact, boot some of those bozos, especially on the Judiciary Committee. BOTH sides.

One thing that irked me something fierce was when the president asked Teddy the Hutt to write a bill for him. As Aristophanes said in the 4th century BC, “WTF?!?” We voted for conservatives to write legislation. We certainly didn’t want the Hero of Chappaquiddick, the champion of socialists everywhere to get his grubby mitts on ANY new laws. Especially one that involved OUR money.

Then there’s the treatment of your enemies in public. For example, why has nobody in the Senate taken Kerry to task for accusations of treason during his short stint in Vietnam? For that matter, why haven’t Patty bin Murray, Jim bin McDermott, and a number of other pro-terrorists in Congress been arrested for providing aid and comfort to the enemy? Why hasn’t anybody demanded that Kerry return his salary for the past two years, considering his constant absenteeism? Why hasn’t somebody – anybody – in the administration bitch-slapped Helen Thomas for her disrespectful mouth? Why hasn’t the Justice Department taken CBS and Dan “I still believe those forged documents are genuine” Rather to task for forging military documents? Why haven’t press credentials been pulled? Why hasn’t the 9th Circuit Court been impeached/disbarred/fired/etc.?

Frankly, I’m beginning to wonder if you and the rep/cons in Congress should be sued for false advertising. Because what you said you were going to do is light-years away from what you’ve actually delivered. The latter being what you’d find on the end of a pitchfork while you’re mucking out the stables.

Now, I know that the argument made is that if I don’t provide you with financial support, the lib/dem/soc/commies will get back into power. To which I reply, GOOD! If this is the ONLY way you bozos will understand that you shouldn’t screw over your constituency, then fine. I don’t want the Hildebeast anywhere near the Oval Office again, I admit. However, if you guys can’t provide an actual alternative to the enemy, how are you not the enemy?

Do you guys really want my money? Well, then I’d expect Congress and the Executive Branch (all the way up to you-know-who) to follow this simple ten-and-a-half step program –

3. Pass and implement a constitutional amendment for a line-item veto for the president.

6. Shut down the Education Department, the Energy Department, the Health and Human Services Department, and the IRS. For starters.

9. Put Matthew Lesko out of business (and if you’ve ever seen late-night infomercials, you’ll know who I’m talking about.

10. Instead of giving him legislation to write, shoot Teddy Kennedy with a harpoon during his upcoming Broadway debut in the title role of “Moby Dick.”

Then, maybe you’ll be worth contributing to. Until then, I’ll send money to the SwiftVets or individual candidates who will actually have the testicular fortitude to actually go to Congress as a conservative, come back home as a conservative, and acting like a conservative instead of a frightened four-year-old girl.

Oh, and be sure to say hi to your other famous relative, Larry “Bud” Mehlman. Right now, I think he’d be a more effective party chairman, quite frankly.

About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a writer and humorist who is also a moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. He formerly lived in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, but now resides in the Midwest. Doc receives e-mail at docfarmer9999@yahoo.co.uk.

I had a similar reaction to Mr. Mehlman's email regarding Harriet Miers' nomination a few weeks back. I replied to it with the response below. I realize that the only person who probably even saw my reply was some unpaid intern, but I don't care. It was cathartic to write, and I felt better after sending it. To: kenmehlman@gop.com Date: Monday - October 3, 2005 8:05 PM Subject: Re: (GWAVA: SPAM) Harriet Miers Needs Your Help Dear Mr. Mehlman, As a matter of fact, all of the Democrats I saw and heard from today were lauding Ms. Miers' nomination to the Supreme Court. It was the conservatives who were lamenting the risky nomination. Furthermore, I am not comfortable calling any show or writing any letters regarding Ms. Miers' nomination, because I do not know enough about her. Had President Bush nominated a known conservative, like Judge Janice Rogers Brown, I would have been thrilled to rally behind her and help support her nomination. However, the President did not nominate a reliable conservative with a track record, so I cannot blindly get behind that nomination--especially after hearing praise for her nomination from the likes of Chuck Schumer. I no longer have faith that the President is making good decisions, particularly after hearing his meaningless rhetoric with regard to sealing and enforcing our borders. The Republican National Committee no longer seems interested in furthering a conservative agenda, and I find this deeply disturbing. I am also disgusted by President Bush's embracing of Bill Clinton. I do not understand why he keeps allowing and encouraging Clinton to enter into the public spotlight, only to have the former president criticize him at every turn. It's shameful. Until the Republicans start acting like republicans, I am not interested in campaigning for or supporting the party. You are driving tons of conservative voters away with your policies and appointments. >>> "Ken Mehlman, RNC Chairman" 10/03/05 Dear Katherine, Today, President Bush announced his choice to succeed Justice Sandra Day O'Connor as the next Supreme Court Justice: Harriet Miers. Ms. Miers is the third woman to be nominated for the Supreme Court, and like Justice O'Connor is a legal trailblazer. Ms. Miers is an extremely well-qualified and fair-minded individual who is committed to interpreting the law instead of legislating from the bench. President Bush selected Ms. Miers after embarking on a thorough and deliberate thought process. This confirmation however promises to be much more contentious than the confirmation of Judge John Roberts. Before Ms. Miers was even announced many Democrat groups said they would oppose her. They have no interest in giving Ms. Miers a fair hearing or vote. They are promising to throw every punch, make every accusation and pressure every Senator to oppose this nominee no matter what her qualifications may be. We have to be prepared to counter their actions and that is why Harriet Miers needs your help. To ensure Ms. Miers is confirmed by the U.S. Senate, I need you to do three things. 1. Call your senators, tell them Harriet Miers has your support and deserves theirs. 2. Sign our petition in support of the timely confirmation of Harriet Miers. 3. Call talk radio, write a letter to the editor of your local paper and tell your friends and neighbors why you support the President's choice. Harriet Miers has a record that demonstrates a commitment to faithfully applying the Constitution. For more information on the nominee go to www.gop.com. In the coming years and decades, the decisions the Supreme Court makes will greatly affect all of our lives. We need a jurist on the court who will not legislate from the bench, who will approach cases with an open mind and who will be fair. Ms. Miers is that jurist. Call your Senators. Tell them to vote yes on the confirmation of Harriet Miers. Sincerely, Ken Mehlman, RNC Chairman

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