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Full Time Motherhood?, How Selfish
Hartford Courant ^ | 11/05/05 | Julie Shiller

Posted on 11/05/2005 7:45:30 AM PST by kalee

Full-Time Motherhood? How Selfish November 5, 2005 BY JULIE SHILLER

Across the nation, privileged young women are seeking to be competitive candidates to gain admittance to prestigious universities. Impressive SAT scores, awards, grades and extracurricular activities are of the utmost importance for college-bound high school students and their families.

The priorities of many of today's elite young women, however, are surprisingly conventional, according to one survey. The most fortunate and educated women say they will conform to traditional gender roles after completing their Ivy League degrees. They are choosing careers as full-time mothers and expect to be supported financially by their successful spouses. Such expectations are utterly selfish and a dishonor to the struggles that the Second Wave feminists (those who came of age in the '60s and '70s) endured for my generation.

ADVERTISEMENT Today, many white women who were fortunate enough to be born into wealthy families are taking their limitless opportunities for granted. In a recent article in The New York Times, "Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path to Motherhood," Louise Story examines this issue. More than 60 percent of Yale women surveyed concluded that when they become mothers, they plan on working only part time or not at all. Although feminism promotes the right for these elite women to choose, they are unappreciative of their economic privilege. Story claims that they "are likely to marry men who will make enough money to give them a real choice about whether to be full-time mothers."

As a Third Wave feminist, I am embarrassed that Story could make such an assertion. Do these women feel a sense of entitlement to be entirely supported by their husbands? Although all women should be permitted to be full-time mothers, most do not have the freedom to stop working outside the home. It is not an equal choice when less wealthy and marginalized women are not granted the option. Women who were born into an unearned advantaged position are relinquishing their power and independence to patriarchy.

Females in the Victorian era were silenced and forced into restrictive feminine roles. Hartford's Charlotte Perkins Gilman wrote "The Yellow Wallpaper" in 1892 during a time when even well-off women were forced into domestic roles that did not challenge their intellectual abilities. The protagonist, a privileged white woman, was labeled a "hysteric" by a male-dominated scientific community that desperately sought a way to repress her for questioning her forced submission. In reality, she was merely responding to being suppressed by her husband and the controlling patriarchy. Now young women are choosing to return to the silence.

Today's liberated, Ivy-League-educated women are willing to sacrifice their privilege and their opportunities to become independent leaders of the 21st century. They are eschewing the opportunities that Gilman's protagonist and other oppressed women of the time yearned for. Ivy League women are not taking advantage of the ability they have to make incredible strides in the fight for gender equality that would benefit women from all backgrounds. Instead, they are choosing to use their power for their own selfish desires.

In the Victorian era, women were forced by men to adhere to submissive, weak and emotional roles as a way for males to maintain ultimate control and status. Now young, dominant women are in a commanding position to enhance the civil liberties granted to disadvantaged women and other minority groups. Unfortunately, the future of our nation has been placed in the hands of elite young women who have chosen to thoughtlessly improve their own lives while jeopardizing the future of those that they had the power to assist.

Julie Shiller, 20, of West Orange, N.J., is a junior majoring in sociology at the University of Hartford.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: feminism; fullofmush; generationy; ittakesavillage; lefty; lesbian; motherhood; nutjob; pinko; radicalfeminists; sociology; stayathomemoms; villageidiot; women; youngskulls
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To: Northern Yankee; kstewskis
I thought the whole article was breathless in ignorance, and the author had no absolute clue as to what the world is all about.

When I was 20 -not too long ago- I swear I was never as clueless as this individual.

Did I mention I was in AZ last week? I loved it, and had a great phone conversation with Karen.

No, you didn't. I'd love to meet you both, looking forward to it.

121 posted on 11/06/2005 5:54:33 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: nymomx2

You made a wise decision. Congratulations.


122 posted on 11/06/2005 5:54:54 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul; Northern Yankee
When I was 20 -not too long ago- I swear I was never as clueless as this individual.

I don't think any of us, even when we were five were this clueless, and had more logic in our little fingers than this nit-wit does.

I swear it's either a recessive gene, a missing chromosome or what, that causes this mental affliction called "liberalism"...

Did I mention I was in AZ last week? I loved it, and had a great phone conversation with Karen.

No, you didn't. I'd love to meet you both, looking forward to it.

Yeah! Remind Jay to tell you about his personal encounter with the javelinas in the middle of the night!!

123 posted on 11/06/2005 6:03:58 PM PST by kstewskis ("I don't know what I know, but I know that it's big..." Jerry Fletcher)
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To: kstewskis
LOL, you made me laugh.

Yeah! Remind Jay to tell you about his personal encounter with the javelinas in the middle of the night!!

I sure will. Sounds like fun.

124 posted on 11/06/2005 6:06:06 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: nymomx2
My wife made the same decision as well. She has stayed home to raise our children.

We certainly don't have all the gadgets that alot of our friends have, but I wouldn't trade any of it.

My wife does home day care, after getting her degree in education years ago.

Our eldest in now in her second year in college, and the two others are in high school, and junior high.

125 posted on 11/07/2005 3:35:49 AM PST by Northern Yankee (Freedom Needs A Soldier)
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To: Seizure

Maybe no one here was as clueless at 20 as little Julie, but I wonder if this is her own opinion or the parroted indoctrination of one of her hairy-legged professors. Her pitiful arguments have that rehashed feeling to them.

Could there be hope for this girl yet?


126 posted on 11/09/2005 5:31:37 AM PST by formerlefty68
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To: formerlefty68

"Is there hope for this girl?"

A little nair, a little makeup, a little skirt and a lotta man might be enough for Julie to wave goodbye to the third wave of feminist silliness and embrace her inner girl. And won't she feel silly when she realizes how truly important - and difficult - it is to stay home and raise a family.


127 posted on 11/09/2005 7:03:37 AM PST by gwbgirl
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To: kalee
Being a full-time mother is the hardest job there is. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and you work even harder on vacation...which is to say, you get no vacation. Motherhood is relentless and exhausting, and sometimes those cute little darlings are impossible and ungrateful. It is your job to make sure they grow up to be decent human beings and there is no guarantee there, either.

Motherhood is neither glamorous nor sanctioned by our society as a desirable occupation and has not been for the past 40 years. That's a shame, as the rewards are extremely great, despite the hard work. The impact of good mothers on society has yet to be recognized. I look forward to the day. The irony is that feminism has taken the reverence out of motherhood, that we are the givers of life and honored as such. They want that reverence and honor back, but they don't want to give mom her due.

128 posted on 11/09/2005 9:03:37 PM PST by pray4liberty (I accept PayPal.)
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To: pray4liberty

slefishness is leaving a ten year old child home alone with the family cat for company.


129 posted on 02/26/2006 4:36:30 PM PST by nevadagril435
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To: nevadagril435

slefishness=selfishness


130 posted on 02/26/2006 4:37:10 PM PST by nevadagril435
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To: nevadagril435
selfishness is leaving a ten year old child home alone with the family cat for company.

Whoever does that would be an absolute moron!

131 posted on 03/04/2006 2:24:56 PM PST by pray4liberty (Five, Going on Six, Years of Freeping!)
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To: gwbgirl
A little nair, a little makeup, a little skirt and a lotta man..

That's a cure for a lotta things!

132 posted on 03/04/2006 2:29:34 PM PST by pray4liberty (Five, Going on Six, Years of Freeping!)
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To: kalee

What she really seems to be saying is:

All those Ivy League women are "just" going to have babies, and I couldn't even get into an Ivy League school - it just isn't fair.

Wah, Wah, Wah.


133 posted on 03/04/2006 2:33:33 PM PST by opocno (France, the other dead meat)
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To: kalee

Full Time Motherhood?, How Selfish

It's quite the opposite :)


134 posted on 03/04/2006 2:34:16 PM PST by Trillian
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To: Trillian

bump, read later.


135 posted on 03/04/2006 2:34:40 PM PST by Angus MacGregor (Wars are fought in the will...)
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To: kalee

If the shoe was on the other foot I would marry JLo and have sex whenever she wanted. I would have no problem with that at all. I would be barefoot in the kitchen (raiding the fridge most likely) every day.


136 posted on 03/04/2006 2:38:24 PM PST by maui_hawaii
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