(IH Bigups to the great Mike Wallster of Ipso Facto for the illustration)
Posted on 11/14/2005 9:59:54 AM PST by IowaHawk
EXCERPTS FROM MY FAILED MUSICAL
ACT I
Split stage. On the right, a group of immigrant street toughs mill outside a bleak suburban banlieu. On the right: President Jacques Chirac’s office in Elysee Palace, where Chirac is toasting another French diplomatic victory with Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin (who is a man).
CHIRAC
It’s great to be part of the UN… the EU’s a marvelous thing…
VILLEPIN
In our little cloister the world is our oyster…
TOGETHER
‘cuz – we – get – to – pull – all - the - striiiiings!
CHIRAC
We are FRANCE!
VILLEPIN
We are France!
TOGETHER
If you think you can beat us, bon chance!
CHIRAC
We’re on a first name basis with the Chinese.
VILLEPIN
Not to mention Kofi Annan on speed dial.
TOGETHER
With speeches so emphatique and manuevers diplomatique, we’ll twist the rusty knife in while we smiiiile!
TOGETHER
We are France, we are France!
CHIRAC
We’ve got the Saudi contacts…
VILLEPIN
to get us oil contracts…
TOGETHER
and stuff away the profits in our pants!
Music makes dramatic minor key shift, stage rotates to the immigrant boys.
KHALID
My parents immigrated from Morocco.
TARIQ
My dad arrived in Paris from Algiers.
HASSAN
Now all that we can do is hang out by the banlieu…
TOGETHER
Mom and Dad ain't found a job in 30 years!
KHALID (angrily)
We are France!
HASSAN
We are France!
TOGETHER
Where a guy can’t get the break he wants!
TARIQ
A hundred Euros weekly for our welfare.
KHALID
They think that it will keep us satisfied.
TOGETHER
They invented mimes, and we’re accused of crimes? It's time for these two worlds to collide!
TOUGHS (angrily)
We are France!
CHIRAC/VILLEPIN
We are France!
TOUGHS
We are France!
CHIRAC/VILLEPIN
We are France!
The stage rotates as the two groups continue singing. Finally they bump into each other and begin catlike finger snapping.
CHIRAC/VILLEPIN
When you’re a Frog you’re a Frog all the way, from your first cigarette to your last beaujolais!
TOUGHS
Mohhhhh- OH! – rocco! Where the wind comes sweeping down the dunes! Where the sand can fly straight in your eye, but they don’t have these French buffoons!
Pantomime sissy knife fight
TOUGHS
Crazy!
FROGS
Cruel!
TOUGHS
Crazy!
FROGS
Cruel!
Fade out, curtains
******************************
For Acts II and III, Click Here
Dave..I'm a huge fan, as you know, but this piece falls a little flat, not because of any lack of effort or craft on your part, but rather because the French, and their leaders, have dubiously "succeeded" in becoming caricatures of themselves..
Age of Eurabia... brilliant!
LOL!
.....We’ve got the Saudi contacts....
I know personally of a contract by the French firm Dumez Construction with contract overruns of US$100 million and the Saudis made them do the work as per the specifications, to the letter. As the contract wore on and on the friction became more heated. Dumez appealed for help and the French government bailed them out. They chose to not let a French firm fail.
The Saudis held their feet to the fire while watching them blister and burn. I don't think French contacts are worth much when dealing with the Saudi Governmnet
ROFL
Encore!
Bump!
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