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UFO CULT GATHERS IN NEW YORK FOR APOCALYPSE
I-Newswire ^ | January 2, 2006

Posted on 01/03/2006 8:14:34 AM PST by NYer

January 2, 2006: The Church of the SubGenius has announced that the end of the world will take place on Wednesday, July 5, 2006. In preparation for the fulfillment of this doomsday prophecy, the Church is requesting that all of its members participate in a bizarre religious ceremony taking place in upstate New York, during the final weekend before the arrival of the apocalypse.

Since its inception in 1953, Church founder J.R. "Bob" Dobbs has predicted that a fleet of flying saucers will arrive at the beginning of July to destroy the worldwide Conspiracy against the Church of the SubGenius, while all ordained SubGenius ministers will be rescued by escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the Xists.

The Church is inviting all of its members worldwide to gather together for the final hours in Sherman, New York from Thursday, June 29 to July 5, at a clothing-optional outdoor campground called Brushwood Folklore Center. The first gathering at this compound took place in 1996, and the event has increased in size and participants each following year. 1998 was designated the first true "X-Day," and each successive year has added one to the total.  This year's celebration in 2006 is X-Day 9, or X-Day IX.

The Church has been engaged in a massive recruitment campaign to increase the numbers of its membership before the arrival of the Xists. According to Church records, the organization currently has approximately 100,000 members worldwide. SubGenius recruitment has been especially dedicated among the ranks of people who refuse to conform to the norms of society, including disbelievers, blasphemers, pranksters, rebels, hackers, pornographers, geeks, and outcasts.

The Church is seeking performers and producers from the adult entertainment industry in particular, because sexual freedom has been an important part of Church doctrine from the start. X-Day will be a celebration of pornography and adult entertainment, and certain parts of the event will be restricted to adults only. Only ordained ministers of the Church of the SubGenius are allowed at the event, but the Church is accepting memberships at its standard rate of $30 up until the final hours of July 4.

The Church of the SubGenius has been no stranger to controversy since its foundation, and the upcoming X-Day celebration promises to be no different. In the late 1980s, members of the Church were accused of spreading a virus in Macintosh computers known as the "Peace Virus." Numerous articles have been written on the Church in such noteworthy publications as the New York Times, Washington Post, Wired Online, Boston Globe, U.S. News and World Report; and broadcast reports have been produced by CNN and NPR. In April 1999, officials of the city of Cambridge, Massachusetts shut down an official SubGenius Devival gathering in the belief that the Church was affiliated with the Trenchcoat Mafia ( the organization blamed for the Columbine high school shootings ), though authorities later realized the association was mistaken.  In its January 1, 2000 issue, a Time magazine poll declared J.R. "Bob" Dobbs the biggest fraud of the 20th century.

Detailed information about X-Day can be found on the World Wide Web at the X-Day Web site:

http://www.modemac.com/x-day

The official home page of the Church of the SubGenius can be found at:

http://www.subgenius.com

Photographers, entertainers, production companies, radio broadcasters, and all media producers are encouraged to contact the Church at its Cleveland, Ohio headquarters at ( 216 ) 320-9528.


Contact: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
Phone/Fax: ( 216 ) 320-9528
stang@subgenius.com, jesus@subgenius.com


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Philosophy; US: New York; US: Ohio
KEYWORDS: apocalypse; cult; flyingsaucer; subgenius; ufo; wegetsignal
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1 posted on 01/03/2006 8:14:35 AM PST by NYer
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To: Liz; 1Old Pro

Keep an eye to the sky ;-)


2 posted on 01/03/2006 8:15:26 AM PST by NYer (Discover the beauty of the Eastern Catholic Churches - freepmail me for more information.)
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To: NYer

"Mork calling Orson, come in Orson..."


3 posted on 01/03/2006 8:16:18 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts (Crime cannot be tolerated. Criminals thrive on the indulgences of society's understanding.)
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To: NYer
The Church of the SubGenius has announced that the end of the world will take place on Wednesday, July 5, 2006.

That doesn't give us much time...whatever happened to the "next year" type prophecy? LOL!

4 posted on 01/03/2006 8:16:36 AM PST by scott7278 (Before I give you the benefit of my reply, I'd like to know what we're talking about.)
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To: NYer

5 posted on 01/03/2006 8:16:39 AM PST by april15Bendovr
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To: NYer
where they gathering near New York Times building
6 posted on 01/03/2006 8:17:44 AM PST by Flavius (Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum)
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To: NYer

I think the UFO stuff is just a joke on the press and they have other reasons for the event.


7 posted on 01/03/2006 8:18:01 AM PST by bkepley
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To: NYer

So what happens when July 5th passes with no noteworthy event? Do the practitioners get a refund?


8 posted on 01/03/2006 8:18:38 AM PST by Future Snake Eater (The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.)
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To: NYer

Hey Mr. Dobbs, our Sensors indicate there is a large fleet of Klingons around Uranus.


9 posted on 01/03/2006 8:18:39 AM PST by docman57 (Retired but still on Duty)
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Comment #10 Removed by Moderator

To: NYer
Keep an eye to the sky ;-)

But make sure YOU pull the wool over it!

(And leave some slack.)

11 posted on 01/03/2006 8:18:52 AM PST by Physicist
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To: april15Bendovr; NYer; Liz
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
12 posted on 01/03/2006 8:19:49 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: NYer

Very nice of them to consider or 4th of July celebration before the end...


13 posted on 01/03/2006 8:20:16 AM PST by Zavien Doombringer (Have you gotten your Viking Kittie Patch today? http://www.visualops.com/patch.html)
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To: NYer
"...while all...ministers will be rescued by escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the Xists.


14 posted on 01/03/2006 8:20:17 AM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum.)
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To: NYer

Well for our sake, I hope their ship comes in.


15 posted on 01/03/2006 8:20:48 AM PST by Paved Paradise
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To: NYer

Apocapalooza..


16 posted on 01/03/2006 8:22:35 AM PST by wildehunt (I told them they'd need horses...)
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To: NYer

Too kewl!! Time to open a Kool-Aid stand!!


17 posted on 01/03/2006 8:23:11 AM PST by LIConFem (A fronte praecipitium, a tergo lupi.)
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To: NYer

Maybe I won't have to work this weekend after all!


18 posted on 01/03/2006 8:24:11 AM PST by Michael Goldsberry (Freepathon Sidebeer Moderator)
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To: NYer
The Church of the SubGenius has announced that the end of the world will take place on Wednesday, July 5, 2006>

I hope not.
That is during the fishing season.

With all the biblical end time speculation by many Freepers I hope it is a winter event.

If the world must end in my lifetime I want the world to end in Jan-Feb or March, not in July. - Tom

19 posted on 01/03/2006 8:24:40 AM PST by Capt. Tom (Don't confuse the Bushies with the dumb Republicans - Capt. Tom)
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To: Future Snake Eater; scott7278
So what happens when July 5th passes with no noteworthy event? Do the practitioners get a refund?

Luckily, Bob never specified a year.


20 posted on 01/03/2006 8:24:49 AM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: NYer

Take me to your leader.
21 posted on 01/03/2006 8:26:00 AM PST by steelcurtain
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To: wildehunt

22 posted on 01/03/2006 8:26:11 AM PST by Salamander (Cursed With Second Sight)
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To: NYer

Sounds like they are preparing for a mass suicide a la the Heaven's gate cult.


23 posted on 01/03/2006 8:26:43 AM PST by Space Wrangler
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To: wildehunt

Ding! Ding! ;-)


24 posted on 01/03/2006 8:27:01 AM PST by Hatteras
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To: NYer
MOVE EVERY ZIG!


25 posted on 01/03/2006 8:27:56 AM PST by Zavien Doombringer (Have you gotten your Viking Kittie Patch today? http://www.visualops.com/patch.html)
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To: Salamander

26 posted on 01/03/2006 8:27:57 AM PST by scott7278 (Before I give you the benefit of my reply, I'd like to know what we're talking about.)
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To: NYer

"Quit Your Job, Slack Off, and Fornicate as if Your Life depended on it!!"

With three tenets like that, how can you lose?


27 posted on 01/03/2006 8:28:57 AM PST by Old Sarge (In a Hole in the Ground, there Lived a Fobbit...)
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To: Salamander
 
 
 

28 posted on 01/03/2006 8:29:06 AM PST by scott7278 (Before I give you the benefit of my reply, I'd like to know what we're talking about.)
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To: Hatteras

More "slack" is required.


29 posted on 01/03/2006 8:29:24 AM PST by ZeitgeistSurfer (Visit the Iran Crater in 2008)
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To: scott7278

......;D

30 posted on 01/03/2006 8:29:46 AM PST by Salamander (Cursed With Second Sight)
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To: NYer

And I thought old one-eyed Bob and "The Church Of The Sub-Genius" was a parody all these years.


31 posted on 01/03/2006 8:30:46 AM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: scott7278

Here's hoping that the congregation really gets to 'explore the space'......;D


32 posted on 01/03/2006 8:30:55 AM PST by Salamander (Cursed With Second Sight)
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To: Physicist

I was hoping to see a slack post. Too many pinks here at FR.


33 posted on 01/03/2006 8:31:01 AM PST by KarlInOhio (What is the most obscene gesture to a Democrat? An Iraqi voter showing him a stained finger.)
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To: ZeitgeistSurfer

34 posted on 01/03/2006 8:31:30 AM PST by add925 ("Never Interfere with Lifestyles that Thin the Liberal Herd" - Me)
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To: Space Wrangler
Sounds like they are preparing for a mass suicide a la the Heaven's gate cult.

It is tongue-in-cheek apocalpyse. Any assembled cult members will only kill billions of under-used brain cells.

35 posted on 01/03/2006 8:33:28 AM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: Capt. Tom

Jan-Feb is prime ice fishing weather....


36 posted on 01/03/2006 8:33:36 AM PST by Knitting A Conundrum (Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly With God Micah 6:8)
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Comment #37 Removed by Moderator

To: RegulatorCountry

Pretty sure it still is. I think they are just having a party.


38 posted on 01/03/2006 8:36:00 AM PST by vikk
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To: Salamander

You got that right. Bruce Dickinson


39 posted on 01/03/2006 8:36:17 AM PST by Doc Savage ("Guys, I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more COWBELL...Bruce Dickinson)
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To: NYer

40 posted on 01/03/2006 8:37:52 AM PST by Zavien Doombringer (Have you gotten your Viking Kittie Patch today? http://www.visualops.com/patch.html)
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To: NYer
Must be the New York City chapter of the socialist hallucinatories. What pier are these Heaven's Gater want-a-be's going down this time?
41 posted on 01/03/2006 8:38:09 AM PST by jonrick46
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To: Doc Savage

*The* Bruce Dickinson.....;]


42 posted on 01/03/2006 8:38:16 AM PST by Salamander (Cursed With Second Sight)
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To: NYer

I can confirm this "apocalypse" and the location. It will occur at NYS Republican Headquarters in Albany.


43 posted on 01/03/2006 8:38:37 AM PST by 1Old Pro
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To: NYer
Ol' Stang ain't been right yet. I say we dump him on Bonobo Island by himself for a while if he still can't get the Deal with the X-ist's worked out...

We can lob potatos at him...

44 posted on 01/03/2006 8:40:29 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Anyone who needs to be persuaded to be free, doesn't deserve to be. -El Neil)
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To: NYer
Xists.

Would that translate to, Exits or Exists?

45 posted on 01/03/2006 8:41:53 AM PST by Zavien Doombringer (Have you gotten your Viking Kittie Patch today? http://www.visualops.com/patch.html)
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To: NYer
In the late 1980s, members of the Church were accused of spreading a virus in Macintosh computers known as the "Peace Virus."

Stopped reading right there.
Ask any Mac snob: Macs just don't get virii. /sarc

46 posted on 01/03/2006 8:45:59 AM PST by Ignatz (cyborg: "The lay teachers could not make hands of some girls.")
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To: Zavien Doombringer

I would be my luck it turned out they were Xists Wifeists.


47 posted on 01/03/2006 8:48:34 AM PST by DainBramage
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To: Zavien Doombringer

Planet X. Hyperdimensional Aliens. Space bankers and mobsters.


48 posted on 01/03/2006 8:51:00 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Anyone who needs to be persuaded to be free, doesn't deserve to be. -El Neil)
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To: NYer

Is it too late to get ordained and save myself?


49 posted on 01/03/2006 8:53:11 AM PST by SolidRedState (E Pluribus Funk --- (Latin taglines are sooooo cool! Don't ya think?))
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To: SolidRedState

Nope. Eternal Salvation or Triple your money back!


50 posted on 01/03/2006 8:54:15 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Anyone who needs to be persuaded to be free, doesn't deserve to be. -El Neil)
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