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Dick Cheney's Perfect Shot
Charleston City Paper ^ | February 15, 2006 | Michael Graham

Posted on 02/15/2006 11:12:45 AM PST by suspects

Personally, I blame Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton was an incredibly skilled politician. He mastered the five "D"s of political dodgeball (deny, deceive, denounce, distract, and deny) better than any national figure in my lifetime. He redefined what it means to be great at politics.

He also convinced an entire American generation of the uselessness of politicians.

The one-two punch of the irrelevance of the Clinton presidency, followed so closely by the profound power of 9/11, has created a climate in which being good at politics is a political negative. We don't want Huey Longs or LBJs or even Ronald Reagans. Thanks to Clinton legacy, the shorthand calculation is "sucks at politics, good at leadership."

And it's hard to imagine who sucks at politics any more than George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.

Watching the stumbling, bumbling, ham-fisted handling of the vice president's bird-shot imbroglio, I keep thinking how masterfully President Clinton would handle the situation. He would have had the press cameras waiting at the hospital to capture him walking beside hapless Harry Whittington's stretcher, holding his huntin' buddy's hand. He would have made a brief statement that night at the hospital, expressed his regret and admitted he'd made a mistake — though probably leavened with a joke ("I thought it was Ken Starr!")

He would have felt Harry's pain.

A real politician would have seen it as a chance to connect with normal schlubs like you and me, people who back our cars into trash cans, and forget to pay the light bill and make the boneheaded mistakes all real people make in life. Bill Clinton would have seized the moment, and his poll numbers would have jumped.

Dick Cheney? As of this writing, he's still hiding behind the skirt of his hunt club hostess, Katharine Armstrong. How naïve — no, make that "incompetent" — to believe that some civilian could handle the media on a story of a Texas millionaire who gets shot in the face ... BY THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES? What — you're going to leave the story for the "News & Notes" section of the Corpus Christi Weekly Wanker, between "Tips for the Garden" and the police blotter?

"A little bird tells the Weekly Wanker that Vice President Cheney was in town hunting on Saturday and had a bit of a crazy mishap. Fortunately, Dick Cheney was handling the gun, so the little bird made it out unscathed. In other news, the Garden Club gals are baring all for a fundraising calendar later this year..."

The man who is one pacemaker short circuit away from the presidency can't put 50 pieces of birdshot into a buddy's face and have the story end in the local press. The White House knows that. So why didn't the Vice President just walk out in front of the cameras and say, "I was hunting with a pal, I made a mistake. He's OK, and he already wants to go out again — though I plan to stick with Yahtzee for the rest of this hunting season."

Why not? Because of the Bush/Cheney Doctrine: All Politics Is Evil. Accommodate the press? Work the non-partisan crowds? Admit a mistake? No way!

It's the same reason Dick Cheney can't walk out in front of the cameras and say, "I was fighting terrorism with President Bush, and we absolutely believe regime change in Iraq will help transform the Middle East and bring peace. However, conditions on the ground — plus some well-intentioned mistakes on our part — mean the ground war in Iraq is going to last longer than some of us projected. Sorry, but it's still a vital part of stopping terrorism and we must succeed."

What talented politicians know is the value of mistakes. How this White House has avoided learning such a lesson is particularly amazing given the number of mistakes they've made: WMD, border security, the prescription drug benefit, Harriett Miers, sucking up to Saudi Arabia, mistaking a prominent Republican donor for a plump, ground-nesting game bird...

There are plenty of screw-ups, but more discouraging, they are screw-ups without benefit. The White House doesn't use its mistakes to humanize the President or Dick Cheney. They just deny mistakes were ever made.

This time, however, there's a guy in the hospital who's been shot — a guy Dick Cheney wasn't trying to kill. That means, by definition, that something went wrong. Why not admit it and move on? Sure, the ("we can't seem to") Moveon.org crowd is still going to try and impeach you, but they're going to do that no matter what.

The point of admitting mistakes isn't political self-flagellation — it's political success. For months, pundits have been wondering aloud: With the economy doing great and Iraq steadily improving and the Iranians proving Kerry was wrong and Bush was right, why are the president's poll numbers flailing around like a wounded duck?

The answer is being revealed — or should I say "not" being revealed — in the windy fields of Texas right now.


TOPICS: Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: billclinton; cheney; clinton; deceive; denounce; deny; dickcheney; distract; dodgeball; harrywhittington; hillary; michaelgraham; politicaldodgeball; quailgate; shot; wot

1 posted on 02/15/2006 11:12:47 AM PST by suspects
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To: suspects

You forgot the "Barf Alert"


2 posted on 02/15/2006 11:16:04 AM PST by Slump Tester ( What if I'm pregnant Teddy? Errr-ahh Calm down Mary Jo, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it)
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To: suspects

Circular fire squad...typical. This is a small story that our people are intent on making Huge. It's a shame that even conservative pundits always let the MSM assign importance to stories. Vince Foster allegedly offs himself to protect the Clinton's from scandal and that was of no moment to the MSM. Cheney has a damn hunting accident and it is worse than Auschwitz...I don't effing get it.


3 posted on 02/15/2006 11:19:01 AM PST by faithincowboys
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To: suspects

The Charleston City Paper is a free progressive rag trying to out progressive the Posted and Currying. The graham cracker column is their attempt at balance while not offending their market.


4 posted on 02/15/2006 11:19:34 AM PST by dhuffman@awod.com (The conspiracy of ignorance masquerades as common sense.)
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To: suspects
This sounds familar, is this an old article?

I think Ive read it 638,980 times from so-called "freepers" here. LOL
5 posted on 02/15/2006 11:22:11 AM PST by roses of sharon ("I would rather men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one". ) (Cato the Elder)
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To: suspects
 9/11 was the price we paid for Bill Clinton 
 
 
 
 
 
 That was, I'm afraid, NOT payment in full.
 

6 posted on 02/15/2006 11:34:14 AM PST by george76 (Ward Churchill : Fake Indian, Fake Scholarship, and Fake Art)
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To: Slump Tester
I didn't think it deserved a "barf alert" at all.

He had some very valid observations, like:

Watching the stumbling, bumbling, ham-fisted handling of the vice president's bird-shot imbroglio, I keep thinking how masterfully President Clinton would handle the situation. He would have had the press cameras waiting at the hospital to capture him walking beside hapless Harry Whittington's stretcher, holding his huntin' buddy's hand. He would have made a brief statement that night at the hospital, expressed his regret and admitted he'd made a mistake — though probably leavened with a joke ("I thought it was Ken Starr!")

From the opening blast of the starting gun, this controversy has been pretty poorly run from a political perspective. Hopefully Cheney will find his feet in tonight's interview with Fox.

7 posted on 02/15/2006 11:39:02 AM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: suspects

Good post.


8 posted on 02/15/2006 11:42:16 AM PST by SquirrelKing (Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.)
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To: suspects

I thought it was very funny. Great satire piece. Wish I'd thought of it...


9 posted on 02/15/2006 11:42:20 AM PST by redhead (Alaska: Step out of the bus and into the food chain...)
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To: dead

The writer is assuming that people are as stupid as him in believing Clinton photo ops as facts.


10 posted on 02/15/2006 11:42:59 AM PST by Democratshavenobrains
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To: Democratshavenobrains
The writer is assuming that people are as stupid as him in believing Clinton photo ops as facts.

And Clinton was elected by sizable margins twice despite his myriad shortcomings and scandals, so the author's assumptions about the popular reaction to his false sincerity and smarmy photo ops seem solidly supportable.

He was making fun of Clinton, while acknowledging his ability to snow that percentage of voters who are dupes for such shenanigans.

11 posted on 02/15/2006 11:49:02 AM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: dead

agreed


12 posted on 02/15/2006 12:01:41 PM PST by Teacher317
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To: suspects

bump


13 posted on 02/15/2006 12:20:14 PM PST by Jotmo ("Voon", said the mattress.)
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To: suspects
What we would like to see:

Dear Senators Clinton, Schumer, Kerry and Kennedy,
You are cordially invited to my ranch in Wyoming next week for a large picnic and quail hunt. You will be my guests of honor and sit at the head table and be at the front of the line at the hunt. All necessary gear will be provided free of charge, courtesy of my good friend Jack A. (Sen. Kerry, you can bring your own hunting gun if you like.) All game shot will be on the menu and cooked to your liking.
RSVP by 2-18-2006

Yours truly,

Dead Eye Dick
14 posted on 02/15/2006 1:00:13 PM PST by hophead ("Enjoy Every Sandwich")
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To: hophead

Pretty funny on Fox news at awhile ago some dem was saying Cheney wasn't a "straight shooter"! I almost did a coffee spew on that one. great choice of words!


15 posted on 02/15/2006 1:11:43 PM PST by LYSandra
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