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Michael Smerconish | WHERE'S OLIVER STONE WHEN YOU REALLY NEED HIM?
Philly Daily News ^

Posted on 02/16/2006 10:13:54 PM PST by hipaatwo

THE INVESTIGATION into Richard Bruce Cheney, vice president of the United States, president pro tem of the Senate and potential future ruler of "the Federation," continues amid the possibility of a host of charges, including assault, criminal negligence and excessive grimacing.

It's safe to say that the random violence that Richard Bruce "Shooter" Cheney committed last weekend on Harry Whittington may forever change his life, his and, let's not forget, the life of his daughter, Mary (who, according to Democrat sources, is a lesbian).

The Armstrong ranch is now a crime scene. As congressmen and other GOP officials scramble frantically to cancel the plans they had to go hunting with the vice president, investigators are still trying to piece together this unprecedented shooting.

And it certainly is unprecedented - you have to go back to 1804, when Vice President Aaron Burr shot and killed Alexander Hamilton, to find anything similar - although there were rumors that in 1972 Spiro Agnew shot at and narrowly missed H.R. Haldeman during some casual gunplay in the West Wing.

The investigation is focusing on the incredible "possibility" that Mr. Cheney did not fire the shots. According to sources, the lead investigator has said there are significant questions surrounding the shooting.

Forensics experts have focused on the fact that the victim, a prominent Republican lawyer, was shot on his right side, but that Mr. Cheney had been standing off about 100 feet to the left.

This means the shotgun pellets would have had to circle around Mr. Whittington before striking his left chest, then ricocheting into his right cheek. The remaining pellets would have had to somehow turn in mid-air in order to strike Whittington in his neck.

(Excerpt) Read more at philly.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: barfalert; cheney; whittington

1 posted on 02/16/2006 10:13:55 PM PST by hipaatwo
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To: hipaatwo
Yawn.

This Cheney story is so Tuesday.
2 posted on 02/16/2006 10:15:28 PM PST by Antoninus (The only reason you're alive today is because your parents were pro-life.)
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To: Mo1; Howlin; Peach; Ernest_at_the_Beach; BigSkyFreeper; onyx; Txsleuth

Ping


3 posted on 02/16/2006 10:15:44 PM PST by hipaatwo
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To: hipaatwo

Thanks for the post.


4 posted on 02/16/2006 10:17:38 PM PST by fatima (Just say it if it is for love-have no regrets.)
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To: fatima

I thought it was cute.


5 posted on 02/16/2006 10:18:58 PM PST by hipaatwo
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To: hipaatwo

Meanwhile, back in Iran...


6 posted on 02/16/2006 10:19:05 PM PST by RedCell
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To: Antoninus

Agreed. I've been so busy at work, I've not followed it at all... unfortunately, my 10 minutes of daily news is polluted by my favorite tabloid right-of-center paper (NY POST)- who keeps harping on it. For shame.


7 posted on 02/16/2006 10:19:13 PM PST by chet_in_ny
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To: hipaatwo
Richard Bruce Cheney, vice president of the United States, president pro tem of the Senate and potential future...

Someone needs to tell this ass clown or at least correct me, but VP is not the same thing as president pro tem of the senate.

8 posted on 02/16/2006 10:19:37 PM PST by krb (ad hominem arguments are for stupid people)
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To: hipaatwo
LOL! OK, that was funny. It would appear that we're not the only ones to find certain media types ridiculous in this matter.

Investigators are looking into the possibility of a "second quail-hunter," an idea that has gained traction as witnesses reported seeing a shadowy figure holding an umbrella on the grassy knoll behind the blind in which Richard Bruce Cheney was standing.

I knew it all the time. This was Texas, after all - the Dallas Book Suppository can't have been too far behind...uh, so to speak...

9 posted on 02/16/2006 10:20:40 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: hipaatwo

Anything the self-aggrandizing Michael Smerconish writes is a BIG YAWN. Can't stand his talk radio show either, it's all about him. And though at times he may pretend to be one, he's NO conservative.


10 posted on 02/16/2006 10:23:06 PM PST by TAdams8591
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To: Billthedrill

LOL thanks. If you read the above replies we're the few that enjoy this article.


11 posted on 02/16/2006 10:23:11 PM PST by hipaatwo
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To: hipaatwo

I still say Keith Hernandez spit on Kramer and Newman. Seinfeld doesn't have a clue.


12 posted on 02/16/2006 10:23:20 PM PST by Horatio Gates (If your belt buckle reads Allahu Akbar, You might be a red neck muslim!)
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To: hipaatwo

Yeah, and ya know, this Cheney thing just might grow into a full blown look see at the FBI fles hilly got, the death of Vince Foster, travel gate, the billing records, who hired Livingston, the export of Hi-tech to the Chicoms, the Chicom $$$$ to the RATS, the attempt to destroy Los Alamos,,,,, ....No? Moveon? Shucks!


13 posted on 02/16/2006 10:23:31 PM PST by Waco
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To: krb

It's HOUMER. Lighten up.


14 posted on 02/16/2006 10:24:01 PM PST by hipaatwo
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To: hipaatwo

Mike did good and I'm glad you posted it.


15 posted on 02/16/2006 10:25:06 PM PST by fatima (Just say it if it is for love-have no regrets.)
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To: hipaatwo

Good grief...where's the BARF ALERT?


16 posted on 02/16/2006 10:25:08 PM PST by nopardons
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To: Horatio Gates

LOL!


17 posted on 02/16/2006 10:25:11 PM PST by hipaatwo
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To: fatima

Thanks. Doesn't seem many like it.


18 posted on 02/16/2006 10:26:08 PM PST by hipaatwo
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To: hipaatwo

Hehehe....thanks for the levity, but, dude, you need to learn to spell.


19 posted on 02/16/2006 10:27:40 PM PST by krb (ad hominem arguments are for stupid people)
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To: krb

First, I'm not a dude. Second, I saw that after I hit post.


20 posted on 02/16/2006 10:28:27 PM PST by hipaatwo
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To: hipaatwo
At least one unreliable witness has come forward claiming that right before Cheney allegedly fired his gun, he yelled, "Hey, Whittington, do you want to see my plan for ending this country's litigation crisis?"

This is a classic!

21 posted on 02/16/2006 10:30:45 PM PST by P-Marlowe
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To: hipaatwo
certainly is unprecedented

Not so. He is President of the Senate. The last Senator to kill someone while in office still sits there.

22 posted on 02/16/2006 10:36:31 PM PST by JohnBovenmyer
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To: hipaatwo

You didn't write it.Just smile and don't respond.:)


23 posted on 02/16/2006 10:37:44 PM PST by fatima (Just say it if it is for love-have no regrets.)
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To: fatima

I'm going to take your advice. If people can't see it's a paroday with Michael Moore in it, well then your right and I won't respond. :)


24 posted on 02/16/2006 10:41:25 PM PST by hipaatwo
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To: hipaatwo

Thanks for posting this.

Michael Smerconish is as much "Philadelphia" as a cheese steak. Perhaps only real Philadelphians, such as those once described by Howard Cosell, can truly appreciate Michael and his dry humor. As for Philadelphia's famous cheese steaks, I still delight in that delicious memory of John F'ing Kerry showing the world just how "Philadelphia" he truly was. For those of you not so steeped in Philadelphia's unique lore and who are still reading this post, Howard Cosell simply said one night that Philadelphia sports fans would boo their own mother.


25 posted on 02/16/2006 10:47:10 PM PST by Thomas Truxtun
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To: Thomas Truxtun

Wellll maybe they would boo her,depends:)


26 posted on 02/16/2006 10:49:53 PM PST by fatima (Just say it if it is for love-have no regrets.)
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To: Billthedrill

Oh, you are bbbbaaaaaddddd.


27 posted on 02/16/2006 10:50:39 PM PST by notpoliticallycorewrecked (God bless our military)
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To: Waco

Don't forget, Teddy is full of shots too.


28 posted on 02/16/2006 10:59:51 PM PST by hdstmf (too)
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To: hipaatwo

Great post but I think it went over most of the folks heads.


29 posted on 02/17/2006 12:20:00 AM PST by harrygun
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To: hipaatwo


ROTFLMAO!

"writing books to urge children to stay out of politics."


30 posted on 02/17/2006 12:31:02 AM PST by onyx (IF ONLY 10% of Muslims are radical, that's still 120 MILLION who want to kill us.)
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