If "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" then what do we call the hatred gays show for others who stop being gay?
Clearly the left wing has a critical interest in not letting people view homosexuality as something people can stop doing if they want to. Homosexuality, abortion, and race relations has always been the Left's bread and butter.
All three of these are in danger now.
Testimony by Randy Thomas
Finding the Answer Randy Thomas
It was about 4:00 a.m. on January 1, 1990. I was reeking of alcohol and had just been violently sick in the bathroom. When I managed to stagger to my feet, I looked in the mirror. My face was pale, my eyes lifeless. I heard a voice in my head: "This is what you will look like when you die."
I began to wail, and my soul cried out, "Why?" This experience was the culmination of a lifetime of asking "Why?" Why had my life been so painful? Why was I even alive? I had suffered through drug overdoses, abuse and "worry-free" homosexual sex. Why wasn't life bringing me genuine satisfaction?
The inner pain had started early in my life. At the age of five, I promised my mother that I would care for her, in light of the abuse that we all suffered from my father. If he would not care for her, then I would.
As I grew older, the pain intensified. I didn't fit in with other boys, but I craved attention from them to replace what I was missing from my father. When an older man would smile at me, my heart would leap with joy. At age ten, I began to sexualize this desire to be close to males but my same-sex longings only led to further confusion.
By 16, I had started drinking and had my first homosexual experience. When I walked into my first gay nightclub, I was ecstatic. People were friendly, fun--and just like me! By the age of 18, I was dating men and making frequent trips to the local gay bars.
When I finally "came out" to my family, I was thrown out of the house with nowhere to go but the gay community. A drag queen took me in for a while, and gave me a place to stay.
Ironically, my first sense of belonging, safety and identity came through the gay community. I believed with my whole heart that I was born homosexual and I never thought about changing my sexual desires or behavior; I knew I could only be happy as a homosexual. However, as I spent more and more time "escaping" the pain in my life through sex and alcohol, I began to realize how bad my life was becoming.
I didn't know God but, amazingly, He began to work in my life. A former co-worker invited me to a Bible study. I attended, and met a man who had left homosexuality. He told me about his upcoming marriage and the changes in his life. At first, I wasn't interested, but a few days later, I realized that my life was empty, except for the pain. For the first time I honestly prayed, "God, please help me."
An aunt gave me a change to "start over" and a month later, I left Nashville and hopped a bus to her home in Dallas. Immediately I found the best gay bars and drugs available, which led me to the night of New Year's 1990. That night I hit bottom. My soul cried out and God lifted His eyes to me once again.
Then I met a woman at work who became one of my best friends. Steffany didn't care that I was gay. She talked about acceptance and unconditional love. She invited me to a twelve-step program dance and I had such a good time that I didn't even miss drinking.
For the next 17 months, I stopped drinking. Through my sobriety and an improved position at work, I felt as if I was on my way to a fulfilling gay life. I couldn't see that my vanity and pride would eventually cause me to fall back into alcoholism.
During my relapse, I lost touch with Steffany. She had become a Christian and when I began the 12-step program meetings again in March 1992, all she could talk about was Jesus. She had changed from a carefree, wild girl to a calm, reflective, peace-filled woman. I asked her about homosexuality and was angered by her initial response: "I believe it's a sin." Then she continued, "But God would not call it a sin if there wasn't something better."
She went on to tell me how one of my past lovers had recommitted his life to Christ and was getting married to a woman. It was then that I decided to take a serious look at God. Homosexuality aside, I could see my innate sinfulness. I realized that I needed Jesus and in May 1992, I accepted Him as my Savior. After visiting Steffany's church several times, I knelt next to my couch at home and buried my face into my hands.
"God," I prayed, "forgive me my sin and I accept Jesus as Lord. Please be my Lord and Savior." I started crying and when I opened my eyes, I sensed Him standing right there beside me.
I felt different inside. I was overwhelmed at the richness of God's love for me. I did not understand the Bible's viewpoint on homosexuality, but I knew God would make Himself known to me and prove His Word to be true.
Then the Holy Spirit started revealing things to me. One day while I was praying, I thought of the first man with whom I fell in love. I had given Ron everything, my whole being. I realized that Jesus wanted to be Lord of my life and He was jealously grieved over my submission to homosexuality. He also grieved over the pain and destruction that we were causing both Him and ourselves.
When I experienced how much God knew me and loved me in spite of my past, I realized that He was not the hateful, tyrannical God that I had imagined. My heart changed. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by the depth of His love for me.
Next, the Holy Spirit explained the passage of Scripture that I disliked the most, Leviticus 18:20, "When one man lies with another as with a woman, it is an abomination before the Lord." God showed me that the abomination is not the two men; it is the act they are committing. God hates the act of homosexuality because it separates us from Him. Homosexuality is a destructive way to meet our God-given needs for masculine affirmation. (Only a year after our relationship ended, Ron died from complications due to AIDS.)
In July 1992, I heard about Living Hope, an Exodus-affiliated ministry in Arlington, Texas, from the worship leader at my church. I began attending support group meetings, where I met people who loved me and told me the truth about Christ's redemptive power for homosexuals. God helped me to discover the roots of homosexuality in my life and how to meet the legitimate needs I had with the help of the Body of Christ, other friends and family.
It was difficult at first. I would have felt more comfortable on Mars than in a church group! I didn't understand Christian culture; the gay community was all I had known. I had to deal with fear and grief as everything changed in my life.
Over the next four years as I participated in a local Vineyard church, I learned a lot. Scott Musick, who was director at Living Hope at that time, was a mentor to me, and he taught me about forming healthy relationships. I started volunteering at another local church and eventually began sharing my testimony.
Within the "safe haven" of the Body of Christ, I encountered the wonderful nature and nurturing of God. I learned that I was not gay or ex-gay. I was Randy, a man of God, a peer among brothers and sisters who were seeking Christ's will.
A major part of my healing from inappropriate sexual ties came one day when I made a list of all the inappropriate sexual partners in my past. One by one I lifted up these people to God and asked Him to forgive me, break any spiritual ties and bless them with the knowledge of His Son. Afterward I felt so clean. I was reminded again that day that I could go to God with any problem or sin.
About three years into my healing process, I went out to dinner a few times with a friend who was overcoming lesbianism, just so we could talk about our lives. One time she told me, "Randy, you are a good man. I completely respect you as a man." I was speechless. I had heard those exact words from men before, but this conversation deeply moved me. God showed me the blessing of the feminine. Slowly I was developing an appreciation for the opposite sex.
Today I am at peace. The Lord is defining me and I am learning more of how to love and seek Him. I have learned to call Him my Father and trust that His Word is true. My life had not been easy since becoming a Christian. But, in Christ, my life now has real depth and genuine contentment.
"Hope has displaced fear. O Death, who is laughing now? O Death, where is your sting?" (1 Cor. 15:55). No longer do I have to ask "Why?" Through Jesus Christ, I have found the answers to my deepest questions.