The following is the schedule of events:
Saturday: A birthday party will be held at 1 p.m. at John F. Kennedy High School, 61-127 Preakness Ave. Admission is free.
Includes a performance by Abbott & Costello impersonators Gil "Bud" Palmer and Lou Sciara; re-premiere of the 1948 Abbott & Costello short movie, "10,000 Kids and A Cop," which has been restored by the Fort Lee Film Commission;" appearances by Costello's daughter, Chris, veteran TV personality Joe Franklin and political dignitaries; and a birthday cake.
Next Sunday: Wreath laying at 10 a.m. at the Lou Costello monument, located at Ellison and Cianci streets. Boxing promoter Lou Duva and Chris Costello are among those expected to attend.
And a memorial Mass at St. Anthony of Padua's Roman Catholic Church, 138 Beech St., one block from Lou Costello's Place, also is currently being scheduled.
March 6: Fundraising dinner at 7 p.m. for the Lou Costello Paterson Youth Foundation. To be held at the Brownstone, 351 W. Broadway, Paterson. Comedian "Uncle Floyd" Vivino, boxing promoter Lou Duva and others will toast Lou Costello to raise funds for the city's youth. Reservations can be made on line at HappyBirthdayLou.com or by calling (973) 900-4069.
Information on all events also can be found at www.HappyBirthdayLou.com
One of my all time favorite comedy acts. Although he died long before I was born, his act cracked me up. My favorite comedy movie of all time was Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein....Abbot, Costello, Bela, and Boris....can't beat that combination.
Remember ABBOTT and COSTELLO Jokes? Hope you enjoy this one. In today's world, Bud ABBOTT and Lou COSTELLO's famous sketch "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this....
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . .ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks.I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer.I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer!I need something I can use to write proposals,track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A FEW DAYS LATER . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........
bttt
I hate to be Mr. Negative, but will all of his kindness and generosity of this great man be remembered by a city best known (lately) for its (growing) "peaceful" population cheering the fall of the towers on 9/11/01 from their rooftops?
THAT was great! Thanks for posting this. I grew up watching Abbott and Costello movies on TV. This story is jam packed with bio stuff I never knew. I am now going to email the author to congratulate him on a terrific story.
Regards,
LH
I liked this one and "Abbott & Costello Meet The Wolfman."
Lou: HHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY AAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTT!!!!
Music - applause - whistling
Lou: Hey Abbott, Hey Abbott, Abbott!! (all excited)
Bud: Co-
Lou: Abbott!
Bud: Costello - Costello - Costello! Calm yourself!! Why are you so excited??
Lou: Hey Abbott! I think the war is over!
Bud: OOhh, that's silly. What makes you think the war is over?
Lou: I heard the lady next door talking back to her maid! (lots of laughs)
Bud: Well, never mind that (Lou can be heard in the background talking and the audience is still laughing) - Yes (answering to him) - Look Never mind that Lou
Bud: Look, you know we have got to drive out to the 'eight-to-the-bar' ranch to see the Andrews sisters. Now did you borrow Ken Miles' car?
Lou: Oh yeah, I borrowed it, just like you told me
Bud: Well, that's Swell
Lou: But I had a terrible accident Abbott
Bud: What do you mean?
Lou: I upset it. I gotta turn it over right away or Ken Miles wife won't like it!
Bud: well, we can do that when we come back from the Andrews Sisters' ranch
Lou: No, I gotta turn the car over right now or Mrs. Niles is going to be mad
Bud: I'll explain to Mrs. Niles. Where is she?
Lou: She's under the car! (Audience laughs)
Bud: She under the car?? eh eh, is she in a coma??
Lou: No, she's wearing her evening gown!
Bud: Ohhh! Well then lets get Ken Niles to help us lift the car!
Lou: OOhh, Kenneth's in a good spot to help us
Bud: Fine! eh, where is he?
Lou: He's under the car too!
Bud: For goodness sakes! How did this accident happen?
Lou: I bumped into another car Abbott, boy that driver was mad at me
Lou: He said ' for 2 cents, I'd punch you in the nose'
Bud: And what happened?
Lou: He ran up a bill of 8 dollars! (Lots of laughs from the audience!)
Bud: You were silly to argue with the driver! Why didn't you call a policeman?
Lou: I didn't have too - I hit one!
Bud: You hit a policeman?
Lou: I hit a policeman
Bud: You hit a Policeman in uniform?
Lou: No, I hit him right in the nose!
Bud: Ooh, this liable to spoil our whole trip to the Andrews Sisters ranch - eh, did the cop recognize you?
Lou: Yep
Bud: eh, could he swear to you?
Lou: yep - and I'd swear right back at him!
Lou: I said you old David Copperfield you tale of two cities you Oliver Twist
Bud: Why did you say that for?
Lou: I was giving him the Dickens.
Bud: ohhh, this is a fine thing. Now I have to straighten you out with that policeman. Where is he?
Lou: He's under the car too!
Bud: What are they all doing under the car?
Lou: Have you looked for an apartment lately?
Bud: oh oh - uh oh, here comes Mr. and Mrs. Niles. Better beat it Costello!
Mrs. Niles: Oh no you don't ! You fat headed, flabby, car flipping fool! Do you realise you left me out there under the car holding up my rumble seat**
Mrs. Niles: Don't stand there like an idiot, what have you got to say?
Lou: Good Morning Mrs. Niles (Thought she was wearing her evening gown!)
Mrs. Niles: Don't 'good morning' me!
Lou: Good night Mrs. Niles! That day went fast didn't it? (lots of laughs from audience!)
Bud: Costello! Why did you leave Mrs. Niles under the back seat of her car?
Lou: Well, isn't that where they always keep the crank?
Mrs. Niles: Kenneth...
Lou: (after audience stops laughing) <shouts> (Probably an add-lib) You had it coming Mrs. Niles!
Bud: No no. Be nice Lou.
Mrs. Niles: (continuing from her last sentence) Kenneth, Say something
Mr. Niles: Well, alright...I er...Just a minute now you worm
Lou, Bud mumble together. Bud: Alright alright - please. Lou: Go ahead, go ahead ball me out kid! You're supposed to
Mr. Niles: (trying not to laugh) You're trying to wiggle out of this! What about me? Look at my suit! I'm a mess!
Lou: Niles! Without looking at your suit, you're a mess!
Mr. Niles: But look at the spots all over my suit!
Lou: Well throw away the suit and wear the spots
Mrs. Niles: Oh Costello. I've had enough. We're going out to get the policeman and sue you for damages!
Bud: Damages? But Mrs. Niles, did you get hurt??
Mrs. Niles: Did I get hurt? I have a big scratch on my crazybone
Lou: Put your hat on and no one will notice it!! AHAA!!
Mrs. Niles: Ooooh!! Come Kenneth!
Lou: Hey, come on Abbott, think fast I gotta get out of here before they come back with the cop
Bud: ohh, you can cause more trouble! We were going to the eight-to-the-bar-ranch to ask the Andrews Sisters to appear on our show. And YOU wrecked the car we were going to use! Well, now we'll have to rent a car
Lou: Well, lets get another car! (the boys pick up momentum here and it's fast paced and funny - audience are laughing throughout))
Bud: We'll have to!
Lou: But where can we get one?
Bud: A U drive
Lou: Me drive?
Bud: No...U drive!
Lou: I said I'd drive
Bud: You don't drive it. I drive it
Lou: drive what?
Bud: A U drive
Lou: Why should I drive when you wanna drive?
Bud: I'm going to drive! Look Costello, I'm renting a U drive and I drive it
Lou: Oh then we both drive it
Bud: No, we do nothing of the kind. I drive it. When I say U drive, I don't mean *you* drive, I mean that I drive although it's a U drive
Lou: When you say U drive, you don't mean me drive?
Bud: no
Lou: you mean 'you drive' because I don't drive
Bud: Now you've got it!
Lou: Now I got it? I don't even know what I'm talking about!
Lou: Now look Abbott. You go to a place and you are going to rent a car?
Bud: Yes
Lou: You are driving a car?
Bud: Yes
Lou: Where am I sitting?
Bud: You are sitting right next to me
Lou: Is there a steering wheel in front of me?
Bud: No!
Lou: And you are positive that I am not driving?
Bud: I'm positive!
Lou: And you are driving the car?
Bud: Yes!
Lou: Alright, what kind of a car you are driving?
Bud: U DRIVE!
Lou: somebody better be driving!
Bud: No no no...look please. I am trying to explain this. We go and rent a car
Lou: right, now where we gonna get it?
Bud: U drive company.
Lou: Now I drive company. (shouts) I thought we were going alone!
Bud: You don't understand!! It's Hertz U drive
Lou: Well, if it hurts, *you* drive
Bud: That is right!
Lou: That's right?? This is getting worse!
Bud: Don't you see? the head of the company's Hertz
Lou: That's to bad, what hurts him?
Bud: Nothing hurts him! Look every company has to have a head (Abbott is laughing now!)
Lou: Naturally!
Bud: Now this company's head's Hertz
Lou: Oh! Why doesn't he take an asprin?
Bud: Listen. It's Hertz U drive - ALL over the country
Lou: Well if it hurts to drive all over the country why should I drive and get hurt?
Bud: You don't get hurt!
Lou: (child whine) - IIII'm not going to get hurt
Bud: You don't get hurt Costello!
Lou: Nobody's gonna hurt meeee!!
Bud: That's right. You're not going to get hurt
Lou: I'm not a fool to get hurt
Bud: You're not going to get hurt. It's the Hertz company!
Lou: (understanding now) Oh the Hertz company!
Lou: (really messes up the routine now!) I still...I still...Look Abbott...I...Am I mixed up!!
Bud: Alright. It's very simple!
Lou: Look Abbott - thank you boy! look Abbott
Bud: alright
Audience has twigged and they are talking over laughter
Bud: Now...
Lou: I don't want to hurt nobody
Bud: Will you listen to me please (Abbott, being the great straight-man displaying his skills here) - the man's name is...
But it's too late, the audience starts applauding and cheers.
Bud: Look, Lou, please...look, take it easy..the man's name is Hertz, he rents cars. U Drive. It's the U drive all over the country
Lou: U drive all over the country? Not with that O. P.A. brother
Bud: What are you talking about?
Lou: That's why I can't go, O.P.A.
Bud: What do you mean O.P.A
Lou: Only a Puny "A" Card!!
Bud: Get outta here!!
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East Los Angeles at the reputed cost of $350,000, was presented as a model for other communities to follow when it was documented in the 1948 short film “10,000 Kids and a Cop.”
including three versions of "Who's on First?" and much more, can be found on 
