Posted on 03/06/2006 9:51:00 PM PST by tbird5
It happens to the best of women. Here's Rosalind Wiseman, who has spent her entire working life teaching girls to treat each other decently. The script for the movie Mean Girls was based on her 2002 best-selling Queen Bees & Wannabes, a book that helps parents understand the drama and danger in the adolescent girl world. She knows the minefields that lie in gossip, jealousy, disloyalty and cruel judgments, and offers solid prescriptions for changing bad behaviour.
Yet despite her experience, she recently found herself sizing up two mothers who came to see her.
In her view, the women paid too much attention to their appearance, especially their hair. They seemed catty in their conversation, were micromanaging their kids' lives, and were silly.
"All these things came into my head. Why? They are antithetical to what I teach and believe," Wiseman says. "I was still judging these women."
Where does this nastiness come from?
Wiseman thinks it exists because it's supposed to exist. Being nasty to each other is one of the unspoken rules about how girls and women are supposed to behave; one of the rigidly enforced North American standards of what constitutes femininity.
"It's everything you know but haven't been sat down and taught," as Wiseman puts it.
When she judged the two women so harshly, it was as if she was acting out one of the observations she made in her book — that girls and women can be their own worst enemies.
(Excerpt) Read more at thestar.com ...
It is so, ME!
Good for you.
As I like to say, the insecure man who wants a weak female because he's afraid of strong women is very similar to the liberal woman who wants a wimpy, metrosexual male because she's afraid of strong men.
Big UFC fan here too. Thats a rough way to make a living.
Yes it is. They really take a beating!
I dated a woman who continually said extremely mean, catty things about my ex wife, whom she had never met.
And no, I didn't talk about her constantly. It was just stuff like, 'the ex has the dog this week'.
My ex and I are still friends and have a somewhat amiable relationship.
I no longer date the b!tch.
>>>But I've been known to be wrong! :-)
I'll hold that comment against you next time the opportunity is in my favor ;)
reason I like it wwwwaaayyy more than boxing is that they don't let a guy get beaten mercilessly. The reason that there are no serious injuries is that they know when to stop a fight.
In boxing the shorter rounds and standing 8 count allow fighters to take way too many shots to the head.
The UFC make look more brutual, but boxing is far far more dangerous.
I worked for one company where my supervisor loved to brag about her hippie and protesting days and arent all men awful?! Then I got a phone call from the school saying that I needed to pick up my daughter because of a high fever. My supervisors response to my request to leave was "Can't your husband do his husbandly duty and be the one to pick her up?" to which I responded "He's the one who makes seven times more than me!"
I didnt stay in that job too much longer after that...I left for good.
That's why I like to hang around with guys.
Other women are scaaaaary.
Not me, I my GF just the way she is. She is tough, strong, taller than me, and not afraid of much.
Me, I am shorter version of Stone Cold Steve Austin with a Nu Yawk accent.
But you're a blond, how likely is it that that will ever happen or that you'll realize it if it does? :-)
Did you see the knockouts show last night on Spike?
One of my pet peeves is those clueless people who attribute common traits of human nature exclusively to Americans or North Americans.
I have UFC knockouts 1, 2, & 3 on DVD. I am totally pumped for Ultimate Fighter 3.
Are they having any UFC's in AC??? I would love to go.
What happened?
"My ex and I are still friends and have a somewhat amiable relationship."
Good grief. Don't you know anything about women?
Let me give you a little friendly advice. Do not EVER mention the ex, at all if possible, but certainly NEVER in an amiable way, in front of, or to another woman who has designs on you. Take my word for it. They'll say nothing about it at the time, but then fume over it forever. Then one day, out of nowhere she'll explode, and you wont know what they hell happened.
Do men ever learn.
Guess you didn't notice the smile emoticon and rushed to judgment off of one comment.
You know nothing about me, but now I know a little about you. However, I'm not a grudge-holder. Life is too short.
'Nuff said. :-) <-----smile (I'm sorry if you're lacking a sense of humor. Thank God I have one.)
This may be a bit off topic but one thing that I really despise in today's culture is the focus on being thin. I understand that in many cases, thinner is healthier and letting yourself go is not in your best interest.
However, I am sooooooo sick of magazines, TV, etc. defining what beautiful is. Even here on FR the guys always post pics of these gorgeous, vuluptuous, thin supermodels, atheletes, actresses. I will be the first to admit when someone is beautiful, but I just don't get why it is always defined by flat stomaches, perfectly tweezed eyebrows, butts you can barely see, thin legs, etc.
Then we wonder why so many women are out there killing themselves trying to look in such a way that many of us were simply not intended to look. When did having a little meat on your bones become a bad thing? The perception many of us have and are given, not by accident, is that in order to be attractive, and desirable, we are supposed to look like these women we see on magazine covers. Reality is, it isn't possible for a good many.
The women I find most beautiful are the ones who look healthy and full, like how Kate Winslet USED to look, before she also gave into the culture of thin.
At the turn of the century, look at the artwork. Women were full-figured. Men had bellies. It was a sign of wealth and prosperity. A good thing. Now, it is considered fat and undesirable.
I'm sick of it.
/end of rant
I couldn't help but notice I was not the only one that couldn't tell if you were serious or not in that comment you made to Clemenza.
But your response to one was you were choosing not to associate with we small group.
So why are you responding now?
You too? Guys are so less judgmental, and I fail most standards that other women set up.
Nothing more nerve-racking than being stuck with "the girls" (MIL and SIL'S) at my husband's family gatherings. The only reason my mother-in-law accepts me at all is that somehow I make her son happy, and ultimately she can live with that.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.