[tomkow6]

 

Today's FEEBLE

YOKE :

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!
Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him.
"What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

[stephenjohnbanker]

ROTF!!

[Lady Jag]

Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've
used it all  through my married life, as my Mom always told
me it was the best.

Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact,
about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me
about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the
neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of
his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a
bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.
After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of
liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and
satisfaction,

all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by
yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative
and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be
considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief!  Going through menopause is bad enough without
being a murder suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.
Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

[MEG33]

CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
LET'S HAVE LESS BULL
AND LOTS MORE STEER

[Kathy in Alaska]

Good morning, tom! Good morning, Patriotic Pattie!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Love today's yoke!

[GummyIII]

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Suddenly the wife poked one egg, randomly flipped the other causing it to land half in and half out of the skillet, and looked at her husband. He whined, "What did you do to my eggs?"

"Cooked them like you drive", she calmly retorted.