Posted on 05/20/2006 7:41:06 PM PDT by firehat
CONCERTO IN F ©
(with apologies to George Gershwin)
by Norman Liebmann
F… Kofi Annan and the tsunami of Third World hatred of America he flotsamed in on
F... John Kerry and the rich wives he rode in on
F... the Brokeback Mountain cowboys and the sidesaddles they rode in on
F... New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin and the school buses he forgot to equip with oar locks
F... the reptilian Hillary Clinton and the snake farm she slithered in from
F... Howard Dean and the nut job “home” he has to report back in by five o’clock
F... Barbara Walters and her TV show’s Most Significant Act of Treason Award “honoring” Jane Fonda - there must be a Nielsen family living in Hanoi
F... Jesse Jackson and the slave ship his ancestors sailed in on
F... all the illegal aliens and George Bush’s smarmy compassion they oozed in on. Bush should drop the words “compassion” and “comprehensive” from his vocabulary and start defending the nation from invasion by swarthy hordes
F... the macho guys in San Francisco and the ballet slippers they pirouetted in on
F... the grimy squatters that relieve themselves in the streets of American cities and the shopping carts they pushed in on
F... Pat Leahy and his hemorrhoids without which he cannot tell that part of his body from his elbow
F... cowardly Senate Republicans and the intimidation by Democrats they seem to thrive on
F... Patrick Kennedy and that third cup of “prescription” vodka that he’s just not himself until he’s had it in the morning
F... the Ivy League for making law schools into pit stops on their way to judicial hysterectomies
F... the United States Senate and the vicious self-interest which is the only thing it can implement. The Senate is the reason nothing improves
F... “peace-loving” France and their H-bomb tests that turned the happy carefree natives of the Pacific Islands into nightlights in sarongs
F... former tobacco grower Al Gore’s hypocritical haranguing about fresh air, and leave some room for the second hand smoke he wafted in on
F... that mystery stripper who’s out to blackmail the lacrosse players and the g-string she keeps her stock and trade warm in
F... Oprah Winfrey and the “touchie-feelie” way she reminds us money isn’t everything - but try going shopping without it
F... the incompetent school teachers who think illiteracy should be America’s second language
F... the civil rights leaders that are protesting racial injustice all the way to the bank
F... Joan Baez’s guitar and all the Marxist dialectics it strummed a musical accompaniment to
F... the crows that donated their vocal chords to women who think it would be cool to sound like Susan Estrich
F... John McCain who’s “straight talk express” turned into a double talk express on the way to his mouth
F... John Conyers and the sewer Roto Rooter hauled him out of
F... the illegal aliens and the counterfeit social security cards they use to tear holes in America’s social safety net
F... the Democrats and the minority pandering they demogogued in on
F... all Affirmative Action students and the fire hydrants they can’t hold up their end of a conversation with
F... Geraldo Rivera and his Scaramouch moustache that he puts on every time Roger Ailes says, “Bring in the clowns!”
F... the athlete role models who inspire children to wear their caps backwards so they can look "inner-citified”
F... all Academy Award winners that thank “the little people” the Kremlin sent to Siberia to work behind the scenes
F... Cindy Sheehan and the anti-American civil rights movement she has leeched in on
F... the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals and all the felons they exonerate before the opening gavel falls
F... Helen Thomas and the vinegar she was breastfed on
F... Bill Clinton whose idea of a national emergency was getting his zipper stuck
F... Harry Belafonte and the banana boat he peeled in on
F... Dick Durbin the Shinola he doesn’t know shit from
F... the US Senate and the political vapor lock they do their stalling in.
F... Nancy “Grossie” Pelosi and the San Francisco Gay Pride Parade she freaked in on
F... Dianne Feinstein and the Harvey Milk she curdled in on
F... the “feminist movement for all the back alley abortions they performed on the US Constitution
F... Patty Murray (Tokyo Rose in tennis shoes) and the words of praise for Osama bin Laden with which she mocked the victims who died in the World Trade Center
F... OPEC and all the greedy oil Opecker-heads they gushed in on
F... Alan Greenspan and the housing bubble he burst in on
F... Charles Schumer and the pile of malodorous liberalism he shoveled himself in on
F... the mainstream media and all the editorial rooms where they pretend to play catch-up with the truth
F... the UN delegates and the jungle telegraph they use to beat out their anti-America message
F... Jacques Chirac and the snail burgers he eats for lunch. (Only in France are snails considered fast food. (Weird!)
F... Sheila Kuehl and the dike bar she groped her way in from
F... Michael Jackson and the Neverland merry-go-round kiddy rides he used for bait
F... Ted Kennedy and the submersible Oldsmobile he used to troll for young secretaries who couldn’t swim
F... the (switching his support to Hillary Clinton) Aussie conservative Rupert Murdoch and the kangaroo he hopped in on
F... gay cowboys and the buckskin lingerie they feel they look so “fetching” in
F... Senator Leahy and the Vermont Teddy Bear he cuddles himself to sleep with
F... Dick Durbin and his lobotomy that never healed correctly
F... Senator Robert Byrd and the pork barrel he got rolled in on
F... Rosie O’Donnell and the mooring mast she got unattached from
F... all the guys in Vermont who wear tiaras to the office
F... President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and all the psychotic Iranian scientists who are at work on a nuclear water pistol
F... Alan Colmes and the Dr. Cyclops eyeglasses he squints through
F... political correctness and the “discreet” deletions it corrupted the English language with
and …
F... the Arabs and the flying carpets they crash American skyscrapers on.
***
I hummed along....
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