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Iowahawk: STOP THE LIES
Iowahawk | 05/23/2006 | Iowahawk

Posted on 05/23/2006 7:27:22 PM PDT by dighton

Iowahawk Guest Commentary
by Jesse Macbeth
Iraq War Veterans Against Google
Breakfast Shift Associate, Wendys of Tacoma

.
As a decorated combat veteran of Bush's Iraq misadventure, I am all too familiar with the saying "the first casualty of war is truth." Because this administration sold us a war of empire on a double stack combo of lies, biggie sized them, and served them up with extra mustard. And I was there to see it, man.

My story starts in 2001. I was a sophomore at Mayfield High, a star athlete who was captain of the basketball, football, and track teams, and had singlehandly scored 200 home runs in one memorable wrestling meet against the Riverdale Archies. Obviously, this made me irresistable to girls, and I easily bagged the entire pom squad after winning my 4th straight state debate championship. No s**t dude, I totally taped the whole thing, but I left it in the VCR and my stupid mom recorded it over with an episode of Wheel of Fortune.

While my incredible athletic and sexual prowess earned me accolades on the field and in the sack, it also earned me many enemies in the halls of Mayfield High. An upperclassmen named Dawson became enraged after learning I completely wanged his girlfriend Stacey, who went into a jealous fit after she found out I also wanged her totally hot mom. Then I learned a senior named Bueller had sworn his revenge on me because I smoked his Ferrari with my 600 horsepower VTEC Civic, which does 180 mph in the quarter, easy.

.
Full story here . . .


TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: fakeranger; iowahawk; itsajokeson; itssatireyoupinheads; jessemacbeth; massacre
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1 posted on 05/23/2006 7:27:23 PM PDT by dighton
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To: dighton
DU probably has five threads running about this, with titles like "Iraq vet turns on Bush--THIS one is the REAL DEAL!!!!!"

That Burger King dude gives me nightmares!

2 posted on 05/23/2006 7:29:41 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
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To: dighton

I will ask it again. What empire?


3 posted on 05/23/2006 7:31:26 PM PDT by satchmodog9 (Most people stand on the tracks and never even hear the train coming)
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To: dighton

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


4 posted on 05/23/2006 7:35:24 PM PDT by FreedomPoster (Guns themselves are fairly robust; their chief enemies are rust and politicians) (NRA)
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To: dighton
Yup. The trolls are organizing on FR. What a waste of disk space.
5 posted on 05/23/2006 7:36:13 PM PDT by NurdlyPeon (Wearing My 'Jammies Proudly)
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To: Cannoneer No. 4; SLB

Go to the source link, read this, it's pretty damn funny!


6 posted on 05/23/2006 7:36:19 PM PDT by FreedomPoster (Guns themselves are fairly robust; their chief enemies are rust and politicians) (NRA)
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To: Darkwolf377

The cheese has fallen off this guy's cracker.


7 posted on 05/23/2006 7:36:30 PM PDT by capt. norm (W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
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To: NurdlyPeon

Dude, check your sarcasm meter, it is clearly not functioning properly.


8 posted on 05/23/2006 7:37:23 PM PDT by FreedomPoster (Guns themselves are fairly robust; their chief enemies are rust and politicians) (NRA)
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To: dighton

Thanks for the laughs.


9 posted on 05/23/2006 7:38:17 PM PDT by Radix (Why do they call them Morons when they don't know so much? Shouldn't they be called Lessons?)
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To: dighton
and had singlehandly scored 200 home runs in one memorable wrestling meet against the Riverdale Archies

I never scored home runs in wrestling meets, then again I wasn't gay.

10 posted on 05/23/2006 7:38:31 PM PDT by Cementjungle
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To: dighton

I guess some people aren't aware of the recent fake soldier story over on DU. They need to see today's DUmmie FUnnies.


11 posted on 05/23/2006 7:38:46 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
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To: dighton

Fake Ranger Jesse Adam MacBeth Was Born Jesse Adam Al-Zaid

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1637146/posts


12 posted on 05/23/2006 7:39:40 PM PDT by AmeriBrit (ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION, IT INCLUDES TERRORIST SLEEPER CELLS!!)
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To: Darkwolf377
DU probably has five threads running about this

And it'll be a couple days before they realize they've been had.

13 posted on 05/23/2006 7:39:49 PM PDT by capt. norm (W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
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To: FreedomPoster

I only have an E-meter. Will that work?


14 posted on 05/23/2006 7:39:52 PM PDT by July 4th (A vacant lot cancelled out my vote for Bush.)
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To: dighton
While my incredible athletic and sexual prowess earned me accolades on the field and in the sack, it also earned me many enemies in the halls of Mayfield High

Like we are supposed to believe anything this self-proclaimed "stud" has to say. LOL!

15 posted on 05/23/2006 7:40:02 PM PDT by plain talk
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To: dighton

ROTF!


16 posted on 05/23/2006 7:40:03 PM PDT by stephenjohnbanker
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To: capt. norm
Did you see their responses when the fake was revealed? Without missing a beat they said it was all a Rove scam--OR it actually WAS true.

There's dumb, there's Dumb, and then there's DUmb.

17 posted on 05/23/2006 7:41:15 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
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To: dighton

Another gem from Iowahawk! Thanks for posting it, I've always loved his stuff.


18 posted on 05/23/2006 7:42:20 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: NurdlyPeon
IowaHawk is an old time freeper. He is very good at writing "onion" type stories like this. After doing it here on FR he was offered a professional Job doing it. It is a joke Man.

http://www.freerepublic.com/~iowahawk/index?U=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freerepublic.com%2Ffocus%2Ff-news%2F1637250%2Fposts
19 posted on 05/23/2006 7:42:58 PM PDT by Revel
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To: NurdlyPeon

The funny stuff is in the details, such as "200 home runs in one memorable wrestling meet".


20 posted on 05/23/2006 7:43:29 PM PDT by capt. norm (W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
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To: Sam Hill

Check THIS out:)

Laughter is the best medicine..


21 posted on 05/23/2006 7:44:33 PM PDT by SE Mom (God Bless those who serve.)
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To: NurdlyPeon
Yup. The trolls are organizing on FR. What a waste of disk space.

Wait a minute, digton is a troll?

Can I take back my reply #18?

22 posted on 05/23/2006 7:44:40 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: JeanS

There’s a briefcase of twenties if you don’t tell no one.


23 posted on 05/23/2006 7:47:14 PM PDT by dighton
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To: dighton
I waded into the crowd of screaming moppets with both machine guns blazing, cutting down row after row of toddlers as the Sarge barked orders to keep killing - "hit the A button! hit the A button!!!".

Whoa - I had my doubts, but with genuine combat sequences like this I guess I was wrong. What a hero!

24 posted on 05/23/2006 7:48:21 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: JeanS

Sorry. Number 18 is now on your Permanent Record.


25 posted on 05/23/2006 7:49:58 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: JeanS
I've always loved his stuff.

Troll lover!

26 posted on 05/23/2006 7:51:19 PM PDT by OSHA (Chuck Norris sends Karl Rove Christmas cards.)
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To: July 4th

Only if you're clear.

Those turkeys opened up a "church" storefront about 2-3 miles from here. I'm amazed at all the cars that show up out front.



27 posted on 05/23/2006 7:51:48 PM PDT by FreedomPoster (Guns themselves are fairly robust; their chief enemies are rust and politicians) (NRA)
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To: plain talk
"While my incredible athletic and sexual prowess earned me accolades on the field and in the sack,"

Oh my God what a loser.  I mean L O S E R.

Chr!st.

28 posted on 05/23/2006 7:52:18 PM PDT by SteveMcKing
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To: dighton

The 'hawk at his best!


29 posted on 05/23/2006 7:53:28 PM PDT by clintonh8r
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To: dighton

I want more than twenties if you don't want me to turn this into an immigration thread.


30 posted on 05/23/2006 7:55:13 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: Revel

Nothin' like the Class of 1998; this place don't even seem like home no more.


31 posted on 05/23/2006 8:00:04 PM PDT by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
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To: JeanS
¡¡¡¡ !!!!
32 posted on 05/23/2006 8:00:09 PM PDT by dighton
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To: dighton; aculeus; JeanS
There’s a briefcase of twenties if you don’t tell no one.

What the...hey, these are pesos!

33 posted on 05/23/2006 8:00:45 PM PDT by Senator Bedfellow
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To: capt. norm

Aren't they funny? They do not seem to be too smart for some reason.


34 posted on 05/23/2006 8:02:27 PM PDT by MamaB (mom to an Angel)
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To: Darkwolf377
When I came up on this line: "Then I learned a senior named Bueller" ...

I was sipping a brew at the time and some of it almost came out my nose from laughing.

I immediately pictured Ben Stein in the classroom droning "Bueller........Bueller...."

Fortunately no beer was wasted in this episode.

35 posted on 05/23/2006 8:03:02 PM PDT by capt. norm (W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
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To: Darkwolf377
That Burger King dude gives me nightmares!

Until the Burger King meets the guillotine I'll never eat there again.

Where is a Robespierre when you really need him.

36 posted on 05/23/2006 8:03:55 PM PDT by A message
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To: dighton

I took one look at Jesse's skinny neck and new he wasn't a "special forces" anything!


37 posted on 05/23/2006 8:04:33 PM PDT by Shermy (Ronald Reagan was man enough to call an Amnesty an Amnesty.)
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To: AmeriBrit; dighton

"Fake Ranger Jesse Adam MacBeth Was Born Jesse Adam Al-Zaid"

MacBeth was not his given name?

Odd to choose MacBeth to say the least.


38 posted on 05/23/2006 8:06:02 PM PDT by Shermy (Ronald Reagan was man enough to call an Amnesty an Amnesty.)
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To: Old Professer

Well JeanS was here, And your here. Thats cool. How about starting a class of 98 thread and label it "Class of 98 posters only". All other posters will be banned! LOL


39 posted on 05/23/2006 8:06:35 PM PDT by Revel
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To: dighton

Hilarious! Laughing so hard I can hardly type this!

The Burger King guy is just plain creepy.


40 posted on 05/23/2006 8:08:03 PM PDT by Theresawithanh (Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck around...)
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To: Shermy
Hey, this guy went to school with Ferris Bueller:

but it was on Bueller's day off.

41 posted on 05/23/2006 8:09:52 PM PDT by capt. norm (W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
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To: dighton

Funny, though the Burger King guy pings my gaydar too.


42 posted on 05/23/2006 8:10:50 PM PDT by Last Dakotan
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To: Revel

You forgot capt. norm. he's class of 98 too.


43 posted on 05/23/2006 8:10:57 PM PDT by Jean S
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To: capt. norm
Fortunately no beer was wasted in this episode.

Sing praises to the Beer Gods for THAT!

44 posted on 05/23/2006 8:11:57 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
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To: A message
Until the Burger King meets the guillotine I'll never eat there again.

Someone posted a pic of him from one of those ads. It's of a guy answering the front door and that Burger King is there, and the words "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds" were printed below.

I'm surprised my hair didn't turn white from that...

45 posted on 05/23/2006 8:13:24 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
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To: JeanS
You forgot capt. norm. he's class of 98 too.

I might have signed up in '98 but but I don't have any class. I'm hoping some will rub off on me.

46 posted on 05/23/2006 8:13:52 PM PDT by capt. norm (W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
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To: dighton

Hilarious. IowaHawk strikes again.


47 posted on 05/23/2006 8:14:15 PM PDT by justshutupandtakeit (If you believe ANYTHING in the Treason Media you are a fool.)
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To: dighton
ROFLMAO!!!


Titled: My Ranger School Class

48 posted on 05/23/2006 8:15:59 PM PDT by TADSLOS (Right Wing Infidel since 1954)
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To: capt. norm
And it'll be a couple days before they realize they've been had.

Maybe Will Pitt will do one of his bloviating essays vouching for this guy and try to get back in DU's good graces after his latest Fitzmas fairy tale.

49 posted on 05/23/2006 8:16:21 PM PDT by CFC__VRWC
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To: satchmodog9

Click the story link and check the face of empire. Make sure you aren't drinking anything.


50 posted on 05/23/2006 8:17:19 PM PDT by justshutupandtakeit (If you believe ANYTHING in the Treason Media you are a fool.)
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