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Iowahawk: STOP THE LIES
Iowahawk
| 05/23/2006
| Iowahawk
Posted on 05/23/2006 7:27:22 PM PDT by dighton
Iowahawk Guest Commentary
by Jesse Macbeth
Iraq War Veterans Against Google
Breakfast Shift Associate, Wendys of Tacoma
.
As a decorated combat veteran of Bush's Iraq misadventure, I am all too familiar with the saying "the first casualty of war is truth." Because this administration sold us a war of empire on a double stack combo of lies, biggie sized them, and served them up with extra mustard. And I was there to see it, man.
My story starts in 2001. I was a sophomore at Mayfield High, a star athlete who was captain of the basketball, football, and track teams, and had singlehandly scored 200 home runs in one memorable wrestling meet against the Riverdale Archies. Obviously, this made me irresistable to girls, and I easily bagged the entire pom squad after winning my 4th straight state debate championship. No s**t dude, I totally taped the whole thing, but I left it in the VCR and my stupid mom recorded it over with an episode of Wheel of Fortune.
While my incredible athletic and sexual prowess earned me accolades on the field and in the sack, it also earned me many enemies in the halls of Mayfield High. An upperclassmen named Dawson became enraged after learning I completely wanged his girlfriend Stacey, who went into a jealous fit after she found out I also wanged her totally hot mom. Then I learned a senior named Bueller had sworn his revenge on me because I smoked his Ferrari with my 600 horsepower VTEC Civic, which does 180 mph in the quarter, easy.
.
Full story here . . .
TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: fakeranger; iowahawk; itsajokeson; itssatireyoupinheads; jessemacbeth; massacre
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1
posted on
05/23/2006 7:27:23 PM PDT
by
dighton
To: dighton
DU probably has five threads running about this, with titles like "Iraq vet turns on Bush--THIS one is the REAL DEAL!!!!!"
That Burger King dude gives me nightmares!
2
posted on
05/23/2006 7:29:41 PM PDT
by
Darkwolf377
(An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
To: dighton
I will ask it again. What empire?
3
posted on
05/23/2006 7:31:26 PM PDT
by
satchmodog9
(Most people stand on the tracks and never even hear the train coming)
To: dighton
4
posted on
05/23/2006 7:35:24 PM PDT
by
FreedomPoster
(Guns themselves are fairly robust; their chief enemies are rust and politicians) (NRA)
To: dighton
Yup. The trolls are organizing on FR. What a waste of disk space.
5
posted on
05/23/2006 7:36:13 PM PDT
by
NurdlyPeon
(Wearing My 'Jammies Proudly)
To: Cannoneer No. 4; SLB
Go to the source link, read this, it's pretty damn funny!
6
posted on
05/23/2006 7:36:19 PM PDT
by
FreedomPoster
(Guns themselves are fairly robust; their chief enemies are rust and politicians) (NRA)
To: Darkwolf377
The cheese has fallen off this guy's cracker.
7
posted on
05/23/2006 7:36:30 PM PDT
by
capt. norm
(W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
To: NurdlyPeon
Dude, check your sarcasm meter, it is clearly not functioning properly.
8
posted on
05/23/2006 7:37:23 PM PDT
by
FreedomPoster
(Guns themselves are fairly robust; their chief enemies are rust and politicians) (NRA)
To: dighton
9
posted on
05/23/2006 7:38:17 PM PDT
by
Radix
(Why do they call them Morons when they don't know so much? Shouldn't they be called Lessons?)
To: dighton
and had singlehandly scored 200 home runs in one memorable wrestling meet against the Riverdale Archies I never scored home runs in wrestling meets, then again I wasn't gay.
To: dighton
I guess some people aren't aware of the recent fake soldier story over on DU. They need to see today's DUmmie FUnnies.
11
posted on
05/23/2006 7:38:46 PM PDT
by
Darkwolf377
(An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
To: dighton
12
posted on
05/23/2006 7:39:40 PM PDT
by
AmeriBrit
(ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION, IT INCLUDES TERRORIST SLEEPER CELLS!!)
To: Darkwolf377
DU probably has five threads running about thisAnd it'll be a couple days before they realize they've been had.
13
posted on
05/23/2006 7:39:49 PM PDT
by
capt. norm
(W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
To: FreedomPoster
I only have an E-meter. Will that work?
14
posted on
05/23/2006 7:39:52 PM PDT
by
July 4th
(A vacant lot cancelled out my vote for Bush.)
To: dighton
While my incredible athletic and sexual prowess earned me accolades on the field and in the sack, it also earned me many enemies in the halls of Mayfield High Like we are supposed to believe anything this self-proclaimed "stud" has to say. LOL!
To: dighton
To: capt. norm
Did you see their responses when the fake was revealed? Without missing a beat they said it was all a Rove scam--OR it actually WAS true.
There's dumb, there's Dumb, and then there's DUmb.
17
posted on
05/23/2006 7:41:15 PM PDT
by
Darkwolf377
(An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
To: dighton
Another gem from Iowahawk! Thanks for posting it, I've always loved his stuff.
18
posted on
05/23/2006 7:42:20 PM PDT
by
Jean S
To: NurdlyPeon
19
posted on
05/23/2006 7:42:58 PM PDT
by
Revel
To: NurdlyPeon
The funny stuff is in the details, such as "200 home runs in one memorable wrestling meet".
20
posted on
05/23/2006 7:43:29 PM PDT
by
capt. norm
(W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
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