Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Iowahawk: STOP THE LIES
Iowahawk | 05/23/2006 | Iowahawk

Posted on 05/23/2006 7:27:22 PM PDT by dighton

Iowahawk Guest Commentary
by Jesse Macbeth
Iraq War Veterans Against Google
Breakfast Shift Associate, Wendys of Tacoma

.
As a decorated combat veteran of Bush's Iraq misadventure, I am all too familiar with the saying "the first casualty of war is truth." Because this administration sold us a war of empire on a double stack combo of lies, biggie sized them, and served them up with extra mustard. And I was there to see it, man.

My story starts in 2001. I was a sophomore at Mayfield High, a star athlete who was captain of the basketball, football, and track teams, and had singlehandly scored 200 home runs in one memorable wrestling meet against the Riverdale Archies. Obviously, this made me irresistable to girls, and I easily bagged the entire pom squad after winning my 4th straight state debate championship. No s**t dude, I totally taped the whole thing, but I left it in the VCR and my stupid mom recorded it over with an episode of Wheel of Fortune.

While my incredible athletic and sexual prowess earned me accolades on the field and in the sack, it also earned me many enemies in the halls of Mayfield High. An upperclassmen named Dawson became enraged after learning I completely wanged his girlfriend Stacey, who went into a jealous fit after she found out I also wanged her totally hot mom. Then I learned a senior named Bueller had sworn his revenge on me because I smoked his Ferrari with my 600 horsepower VTEC Civic, which does 180 mph in the quarter, easy.

.
Full story here . . .


TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: fakeranger; iowahawk; itsajokeson; itssatireyoupinheads; jessemacbeth; massacre
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-84 next last
To: Shermy
Hey, this guy went to school with Ferris Bueller:

but it was on Bueller's day off.

41 posted on 05/23/2006 8:09:52 PM PDT by capt. norm (W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: dighton

Funny, though the Burger King guy pings my gaydar too.


42 posted on 05/23/2006 8:10:50 PM PDT by Last Dakotan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Revel

You forgot capt. norm. he's class of 98 too.


43 posted on 05/23/2006 8:10:57 PM PDT by Jean S
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: capt. norm
Fortunately no beer was wasted in this episode.

Sing praises to the Beer Gods for THAT!

44 posted on 05/23/2006 8:11:57 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: A message
Until the Burger King meets the guillotine I'll never eat there again.

Someone posted a pic of him from one of those ads. It's of a guy answering the front door and that Burger King is there, and the words "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds" were printed below.

I'm surprised my hair didn't turn white from that...

45 posted on 05/23/2006 8:13:24 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: JeanS
You forgot capt. norm. he's class of 98 too.

I might have signed up in '98 but but I don't have any class. I'm hoping some will rub off on me.

46 posted on 05/23/2006 8:13:52 PM PDT by capt. norm (W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 43 | View Replies]

To: dighton

Hilarious. IowaHawk strikes again.


47 posted on 05/23/2006 8:14:15 PM PDT by justshutupandtakeit (If you believe ANYTHING in the Treason Media you are a fool.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dighton
ROFLMAO!!!


Titled: My Ranger School Class

48 posted on 05/23/2006 8:15:59 PM PDT by TADSLOS (Right Wing Infidel since 1954)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: capt. norm
And it'll be a couple days before they realize they've been had.

Maybe Will Pitt will do one of his bloviating essays vouching for this guy and try to get back in DU's good graces after his latest Fitzmas fairy tale.

49 posted on 05/23/2006 8:16:21 PM PDT by CFC__VRWC
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: satchmodog9

Click the story link and check the face of empire. Make sure you aren't drinking anything.


50 posted on 05/23/2006 8:17:19 PM PDT by justshutupandtakeit (If you believe ANYTHING in the Treason Media you are a fool.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Darkwolf377

LOL


51 posted on 05/23/2006 8:19:47 PM PDT by A message
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]

To: justshutupandtakeit

Another fraud taken down. That Burger King dude gives me the willies.


52 posted on 05/23/2006 8:22:08 PM PDT by satchmodog9 (Most people stand on the tracks and never even hear the train coming)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 50 | View Replies]

To: SteveMcKing

Talking about yourself again, Steve?


53 posted on 05/23/2006 8:22:50 PM PDT by stands2reason
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: satchmodog9
The it isn't just me.

That Burger King character is way too freaky. There is just something absolutely morbid about him. I immediately wondered why Burger King would make such an advertising mistake.

On the other hand, my five-year-old granddaughter thinks he's neat. They must be targeting a much younger age group.

54 posted on 05/23/2006 8:27:24 PM PDT by capt. norm (W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 52 | View Replies]

To: capt. norm
Fortunately no beer was wasted in this episode.

I wish I could have said the same about my glass of water when I read this gem!

That day the Fort had a surprise visitor: Condoleezza Rice. She was in Texas to help Halliburton plan the Iraq invasion at Bush's nearby ranch, and had decided to check out the "fresh meat" at camp. As I waded through the muck, I heard her voice ring out - "him... him... oooo, definitely him." I looked up and saw Rice pointing at me, her eyes hungrily caressing my camos. She had personally selected me for Advanced SpecOps Ranger Superkiller training at King's Island Ohio, and a number of other 'duties' which you can read about in next month's Penthouse Forum.

55 posted on 05/23/2006 8:28:24 PM PDT by CFC__VRWC
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: dighton
I had several good laughs while reading ... classic Iowahawk.

The use of Bueller and fake Ranger allusions were perfect.

56 posted on 05/23/2006 8:32:14 PM PDT by Eagle9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: capt. norm

Hey, whatcha doin' with a pic of Richard Feynman up there?


57 posted on 05/23/2006 8:36:46 PM PDT by MHGinTN (If you can read this, you've had life support from someone. Promote life support for others.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: MHGinTN
Hey, whatcha doin' with a pic of Richard Feynman up there?

OK. You have my curiosity at full alert.

Inquiring minds want to know.

58 posted on 05/23/2006 8:38:53 PM PDT by capt. norm (W.C. Fields: "Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 57 | View Replies]

To: Darkwolf377
That Burger King dude gives me nightmares!

Not as scary as this Burger King guy!

59 posted on 05/23/2006 8:40:56 PM PDT by uglybiker (Don't blame me. I didn't make you stupid.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: uglybiker

I got chills...


60 posted on 05/23/2006 8:51:15 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (An immigration-thread-free FReeper as of...now!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 59 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-84 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson