Iowahawk: STOP THE LIES

Iowahawk | 05/23/2006 | Iowahawk

[dighton]

Iowahawk Guest Commentary
by Jesse Macbeth
Iraq War Veterans Against Google
Breakfast Shift Associate, Wendys of Tacoma

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As a decorated combat veteran of Bush's Iraq misadventure, I am all too familiar with the saying "the first casualty of war is truth." Because this administration sold us a war of empire on a double stack combo of lies, biggie sized them, and served them up with extra mustard. And I was there to see it, man.

My story starts in 2001. I was a sophomore at Mayfield High, a star athlete who was captain of the basketball, football, and track teams, and had singlehandly scored 200 home runs in one memorable wrestling meet against the Riverdale Archies. Obviously, this made me irresistable to girls, and I easily bagged the entire pom squad after winning my 4th straight state debate championship. No s**t dude, I totally taped the whole thing, but I left it in the VCR and my stupid mom recorded it over with an episode of Wheel of Fortune.

While my incredible athletic and sexual prowess earned me accolades on the field and in the sack, it also earned me many enemies in the halls of Mayfield High. An upperclassmen named Dawson became enraged after learning I completely wanged his girlfriend Stacey, who went into a jealous fit after she found out I also wanged her totally hot mom. Then I learned a senior named Bueller had sworn his revenge on me because I smoked his Ferrari with my 600 horsepower VTEC Civic, which does 180 mph in the quarter, easy.

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Full story here . . .

[MozarkDawg]

My apologies to the FReepers if my comments sounded as though I was misunderstanding dighton and Iowahawk to be the same person. I know for fact they are not, for I've seen dighton's *cat*, Iowahawk wouldn't be able to deal with the thing!

[Anti-Bubba182]

John Gibson on Fox News on this guy.

[brazzaville]

Good morning.

That was hilarious.

Michael Frazier

[brazzaville]

Good morning.
"Funny, though the Burger King guy pings my gaydar too."

It cost them my business, for sure. The commercial with the BK waking up with the Village People was the last straw.

Michael Frazier