Just Aces!
PING!
Posted on 06/07/2006 11:31:05 AM PDT by pissant
You're an enlightened world citizen. Your T-shirt says "9/11 was an inside job." You're pretty sure we're living in a fascist state, that President Bush taps the Dixie Chicks' phones, Christian abortion clinic bombers outnumber jihadis, and the war on "terror" is a distraction from the real threats: carbon emissions and Pat Robertson. Then you learn that 17 people were arrested in a terrorist bomb plot. How do you process the information? Let's take it step by step.
Gosh, that's horrible, you think. But no -- that's what they WANT you to feel. Recall the prime directive: Question Authority (unless he's a college professor). The plotters must have been impoverished olive farmers radicalized by the removal of Saddam Hussein. Why, if someone came in and toppled your president, you'd go to their country and ... well, you'd thank them. Unless they did it for the wrong reasons! Then you'd blow something up. Like an SUV dealership. At night. Anyway, you understand; you care a lot about Iraqis these days. You think about Iraq more than China, to be honest, but it's not as if you'll scrape off your "Free Tibet" bumper sticker -- unless it's to make room for "Free Darfur." Or "Hands Off Darfur," depending.
Wait a minute: The "terrorists" were Canadian? You can understand someone blowing up trains in Spain and London. They sent troops to an illegal war cooked up by neocons who want to kill brown people for Exxon and Jesus, or something. You can understand, reluctantly, blowing up teens in an Israeli pizza parlor, because the Jews took the West Bank from the sovereign, ancient nation of Palestine. (How can a liberal socialist country behave so poorly? The world is full of mysteries.) But Canada? Isn't Michael Moore from Canada? You can get medical marijuana from married gay doctors in Canada, and no one has guns. You console yourself: Maybe they were really planning to attack the U.S.
You realize the suspects were all Muslim, and you dread the inevitable pogroms. Haven't been any yet, but any day now. You read that a mosque was vandalized in Toronto after the arrest, and you feel a certain grim relief. Finally, racism! Banners. If you're going to have a march, you'll need banners.
But wait. You read that the suspects were not connected to al-Qaida, and you're confused for a moment. Maybe it won't be over if they get Osama bin Laden (provided he isn't really in an supersecret Idaho prison). What if the "terrorists" hate you for their own reasons? The evildoer-in-chief said "they hate our freedoms" -- as if we have freedoms, really, just try and get a bike-messenger job that has full health benefits. But what if rights and mixed-sex education and an economy based on sustainable hemp-based art installations mean nothing to them?
Maybe you could convince them to hold off while you fix Amerikkka. At least you can get it down to one k. Maybe if the Democrats take the House back. A 10-seat swing won't make the imams cool down, but 20 seats, in red states? Would that be a good-faith effort?
You worry this will push Haditha off the front page. It's very important that everyone concentrate on the atrocities committed by U.S. troops every day. (It's such a relief not to have to pretend to support the troops anymore.) Anyway, nothing happened. Nothing blew up. If the suspects were planning something, they didn't do it, and this proves we can handle this as a law enforcement matter. Even though the police are racists.
Your head hurts.
You have a friend in Toronto. She's cool. It would kill her if these arrests were made possible by NSA eavesdropping.
You find yourself almost wishing there was another real attack, so people could see the logical consequences of "fighting back" after 9/11. Yes, it would be bad, but sometimes you have to break an egg to show people the health impact of omelettes. Is it wrong to wish the Canadian terrorists might have succeeded?
Shouldn't you know the answer to that question?
Crafty Common sense escapes the liberal mind even if they dared read it.
Sadly, this is preaching to the choir.
LOL! Funny stuff.
Outstanding, Mr. Lileks. Great Stuff!
I love him oh Hugh Hewitt also!
Maybe the sands are shifting.
Truth to liberals is as useful as a snowblower in hell.
bttt
Just Aces!
PING!
It's funny cause it's true. :)
I asked my very liberal girlfriend to look up "Cognitive dissonance", she refused.
His sarcasm is funny but the scary thing is many people believe every word of what he said.
My guess is that there are many in the States (and on this forum) that do wish that on us.
What kind of nonsense is that? If there are any, their names are abdullah, mohammed and achmed, just like the ones who were planning the attack.
Nah, --- just being realistic. There's been widespread resentment against
us for quite some time because there was/is a perception of Canada being
overly liberal, anti-gun, pro abortion, pro gay, generally atheistic,
not supporing the Iraqi mission, etc, etc. not to mention that, as Senator
Kay Bailey Hutchison so eloquently proclaimed on Fox News yesterday, "we
all know that the 9/11 terrorist came through Canada" - at which time
my head exploded (not one 9/11 Mussie came from or through Canada)..
The Canucks were almost going to get their comeuppance, but the damn RCMP spoiled the party.. Just as there's a percentage anti-Americanism here, there is an equal portion
anti-Canadianism Stateside and there they're not all Mohammeds and
Abdullahs (unless they also post here..).
Admittedly, most of it stems from ignorance - but theres a great supply of that
both sides of the border.
Well, despite what you may like to think about freepers, there are none that I'm aware of that would want to see Canada bombed. Yes, anti-canadian attitudes can be found here, just like in any group of Americans. Now its the left's turn to bemoan the political climate in Canada, just like the Canadian left bemoans George Bush's America. But it is an indecipherable leap to think that disgust with Canada's politics translates into wanting to see dead civilians, unless, like I said, your name is abdul, mohammed, etc.
There is plenty of Anti-Americanism south of the 49th parallel, too.
Thank God the adults where in charge this time.
You guys did a great job cracking this one.
My theory of liberals states that a liberal is a person who does not possess the gene required to process reality.
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