Actually, this is pretty fair game for a "roast" of Carville, the sort of thing he might laugh at himself in the right context.
Posted on 06/21/2006 3:27:01 PM PDT by pogo101
BAT BOY has hundreds of living relatives in America -- and famed Democratic strategist James Carville is probably one of them!
That's the astonishing assertion of a Chicago scientist who has just completed the most extensive DNA tests ever conducted on the bat-like mutant.
... [snip] ...
HERE, from the expert, are 10 traits Bat Boy appears to share with his human kinfolk:
1. Bald, misshapen head.
2. Frightening, sharp toothed grin.
3. Comes from the South. "Like Bat Boy, who first surfaced in West Virginia, most of his relatives are found in the South," notes Dr. Hensky. "Mr. Carville was born in Louisiana."
4. Flails arms wildly when excited.
5. Combative. Like Bat Boy, who's bitten dozens of people, Carville relishes a good fight.
6. Weird, cackling laugh.
7. Super-acute hearing. CNN staffers have learned not to bad-mouth Carville behind his back.
8. Physical agility.
9. Dog-like loyalty. "While other Clinton cronies ducked for cover during Monica-gate, Carville stood by his man," Dr. Hensky observes.
10. Navigates in dark. Carville often wears sunglasses at night.
Actually, this is pretty fair game for a "roast" of Carville, the sort of thing he might laugh at himself in the right context.
Which one is CarVile and which one is Bat Boy?
Carville's a pretty good guy considering he's a terminal liberal. I'd consider the resemblance a coincidence...unless he also eats bugs and sleeps hanging by his toes from a coat rack. Mind, I don't know that he doesn't...
"Are James Carville and Bat Boy Kin?"
Short answer, yes. But Bat Boy disowned him.
James Carville was born on October 25, 1944. He grew up the oldest of eight children in Carville, Louisiana, a brackish backwater bend on the Mississippi River. The small town of Carville was named after James’ grandfather, who was the town's postmaster and owner of the general store. After the conviction of James Carville, the town changed its name to honor its first mayor, William Hitler. Shortly thereafter, the town changed its name to Town.
His father was a determined, but by all accounts inept, human fly. He died very young. His mother, known to all as Miss Nippy, sold ski equipment door-to-door, while trying to keep her eight children out of trouble. Money was very tight.
(Scene: A sad old woman, sitting in a sundress, under a canopy of hackberry and magnolia trees. Title - Eva Daigrepont - Carville family friend.)
Daigrepont: Miss Nippy was always taking in stray dogs and the like. She loved all the Lord’s creatures, but that boy a hers - he were different. In a scary way… like he were not of this place. I caught him eating a muskrat one day, he didn’t even have the sense to kill it first. They were rolling around the grass biting each other. That James, he won. I seen him later…he got fur in his teeth and blood all down his shirt. He sayed “Good morning” to me like he ain’t got a care in the world. A real strange one - that James...
E! Narrator: Childhood was not easy for James. His family was poor, as were most of the townsfolk, but it was the taunting of the other children that hurt him most.
(Scene: Skinny, old, toothless man on a sagging porch. Sunny day. Leans back on ratty couch, with a Pabst Blue Ribbon in his hand. Title - Chester Ludlow - Neighbor.)
Ludlow: The kids was oft times mean to him. Ya know, chasing him with sticks, hollarin’ “Lizard Face!”. It were even worser when the adults joined in. Even did it myself, I’m ‘shamed to say. I was drunk, and I couldn’t help it…ya know, I’d see that lizard face a his and git all riled. Heh…heh…I throwed him down an outhouse once…I guess that were wrong. Funny as hell, though…he liked it down there, wouldn’t come out for days.
E! Narrator: Even his siblings were less than kind.
(Scene: Dirty, fat woman in her fifties. Smoking a pipe and sitting on a green padded bench, once part of a school bus. Title - Murnel Boudreaux - James Carville’s sister.)
Boudreaux: I rememba taking Jimmy down the bayou. We tied ‘em up and toll him we was fixing to feed him to the gators. Done it, too. Throwed him in, but the gators swam away. Not a lot a meat on him…couple days later we went back and fished him out…He stunk sumpin’ fierce…Raymond!! Git off yer sista! You know she got her visitor dis week!
E! Narrator: In 1962, James escaped from the horrors of his childhood by entering Louisiana State University. After four years, James was proud to become the first member of his family to fail out of college...
My Preciousssssssssss, Hillery!
Ha! That's a fake narrative...everyone knows that nobody drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon in the South!
Dead, man you kill me. I laughed so hard that I had tears in my eyes. BTW, that is a true story, warn't it?
ping
Lol! Great post!
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