FReeper Canteen~Humor Break~05Oct.06

[AZamericonnie]

 

Humor Break



ID Check

A few years back one of the new Marines at the Barracks at Yorktown, VA was standing post at the main gate of the Naval Weapons Station. The policy was to check 100% of ID cards including military in uniform. A Navy sedan drove up to the gate with a young seaman at the wheel and a rear admiral sitting in the back. The young PFC signaled for the car to stop, approached the driver, and asked to see both ID cards. The admiral told the Marine that he was on his way to meet with the station CO and didn't have time for such nonsense....

Admiral to driver: "Go ahead."

...PFC to driver: "Don't do that."

...Admiral to driver: "You heard me, Drive on."

...PFC to Admiral as he draws his .45:

"Sir, this is my first time on post. Do I shoot you or your driver?"

The admiral showed his ID.



~~Superman Returns Game~~



~~Drunk Stop~~



Air Force

Recently I was given a list of actual responses made to squawks, the Air Force term for maintenance complaints by pilots.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

~~Lazy Ramadi~~


Awwww......:)

~~Ping Pong Anyone?~~



~~Don't Touch My Bone~~

A little too hooah

Your kids call the sandbox "NTC".
Your wife has mermites in the China Cabinet.
Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry".
When your wife left you, you had a Change of Command.
Your wife carries a buttpack instead of a Gucci purse.
Your kids would rather get SIMNET than Nintendo 64.
When your family gets together, you call them "Slice Elements".
You butter your toast with a bayonet.
If your kids get a wrong answer in school they immediately drop and knock out 20.
Your personal license plate says "At Ease".
All of your kids' names begin with "AR".
Your grandmother won the Week of the Eagles.
Your POV has your name stenciled on the windshield.
Anyone using the TV remote control must dispatch it first.
Your kids are hand receipt holders.
Your kids practice Drill and Ceremony at recess.
Your dog's name is "Ranger".
Your kids pull night guard shifts by the mailbox.
Your wife has a better high and tight than your commander.
Your kids sound off with "Airborne" or "Air Assault" every time their left foot hits the ground.
Your wife won't buy anything unless it has a National Stock Number.
Your kids have to wax and buff the floor before going to school.
When your dog died, he got a 21-gun salute at Arlington.
Your kids call their teachers "REMFs" and the other kids at school "legs."
Your daughter's dolls wear starched uniforms.
Your daughter complained that her new Barbie's hair wasn't within regulation and then cut it.
If your kids fail a test, they get a Letter of Reprimand and an Article 15.
Your kids salute their grandparents.
Your kids get an LES with their allowance.
All your meals at home are MREs.
Your kids painted their Big Wheels camouflage and stuck bumper numbers on them.
All your household possessions were issued by CIF.
Your kids get sent to the "big house" at Leavenworth if they're disrespectful.
Your kids complain if they can't have gym class five days a week.
Everyone does six pullups before sitting down at the dinner table.

~~A Perfect Car For Women~~





**This Link Rated PG**

Just a little levity for our Troops & their families. Have at it folks!

[tomkow6]

>>>>>>>FURST!!!!......We is FURST AGAIN!!!!!......WoooHOOOO!
>>>>>>>>FURST!!!!......We is FURST AGAIN!!!!!......WoooHOOOO!>>>>>>>>FURST!!!!......We is FURST AGAIN!!!!!......WoooHOOOO!>>>>>>>>FURST!!!!......We is FURST AGAIN!!!!!......WoooHOOOO!

[The Mayor]

October 5, 2006

Doing What We Can

LISTEN TO ODB RADIO: Real | MP3 | WMA

READ: 1 Corinthians 3:5-15

He who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward. —1 Corinthians 3:8

Sometimes we may get discouraged because what we're doing for the Lord seems unsuccessful. The children in the Sunday school class we teach are restless and inattentive. The neighbors we're trying to reach with the gospel are politely indifferent. The members of our own family are far from the Lord. The world we lift up to God in fervent intercession grows increasingly violent and anti-Christian. All of this can add up to deep soul-discouragement.

Listen to the words of a Salvadoran clergyman who was murdered for his fearless denunciation of violence and injustice. He wrote: "We plant the seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. . . . We cannot do everything, and there's a sense of liberation in realizing that." This attitude helps us to do small things and to leave "an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest."

That agrees with the apostle Paul's encouragement to be faithful in our tasks and to wait on God who "gives the increase" (1 Cor. 3:6-7).

Don't allow discouragement to cause you to quit. In God's own time our work will bear fruit. —Vernon C Grounds -->

Go, labor on, spend, and be spent,
Thy joy to do Thy Father's will;
It is the way the Master went;
Should not the servant tread it still?  —Bonar

You are a success in God's kingdom if you are faithful where He has placed you.

Bible in One Year: Bible in One Year;   Isaiah 23-25; Philippians 1

[Jet Jaguar]

First!?

[Soaring Feather]

[Jet Jaguar]

You Brat!!!!

[tomkow6]

NOPE!

[tomkow6]

Kiss my grits!...........hahahahhahahahahahahahhaha!!!!

[darkwing104]

Good evening Canteen FReepers!

[Jet Jaguar]

LOL! How goes it? Did you get flooded?

[TASMANIANRED]

Great thread Connie.

[tomkow6]

Evenin', DW!

[Tennessee_Bob]

FReeper Canteen~Humor Break~05Sept.06

Again? But I don't want to go through my birthday again!

[Jet Jaguar]

Evening DW!

[TASMANIANRED]

Very poignant...
thanks you.

[darkwing104]

Good evening Tomkow! You were first...

[Soaring Feather]

Hello, Tomkow6!
Caught you again!

[Soaring Feather]

Evening darkwing, how be ya??

[Jet Jaguar]

Humor Break~05Sept.06


Outstanding attention to detail.

Happy birthday again Bob!

[darkwing104]

Good Evening JJ! How are you tonight!