(He's a proud Democrat, but he's got a great mind, and is unafraid to call the Dems out on their failures and hypocrisies.)
Posted on 10/09/2006 7:30:56 AM PDT by SJackson
"Dad, why does America celebrate Columbus Day?"
"Well, Billy, in 1492, Christopher Columbus sailed from Europe to America and founded the very first settlement in the New World. His arrival marks the beginning of America as we know it."
"But didn't he discover America by accident, dad?"
"Columbus believed the Earth was a sphere. He thought he could reach the Far East by setting off on a westward course. Though he stumbled upon what is now the Bahamas by accident, he was still a great explorer and a great man, Billy."
"A great man, dad, or a racist oppressor?"
"Pardon me, son?"
"When Columbus came to America, he brought with him the greed of the white European males who subsequently colonized America for the dough. They fought and killed the Indigenous Peoples who were already here and took their land and their gold. Columbus eventually died a very rich man."
"Well, Billy, an unfortunate part of human history involves countries invading their neighbors to take control. This has happened in many parts of the world, including Europe, which has a long history of war. But remember that Indigenous Peoples were also prone to war and fighting to expand their control well before Europeans arrived."
"Well, Columbus is also responsible for many germs and diseases that Europeans brought to America, causing untold suffering and death among the people who were here before us."
"Have you been drinking too much caffeine lately, Billy?"
"America's history of environmental destruction can also be laid at Columbus' feet, dad. As soon as the Europeans colonized America's pristine lands, they cut down the trees and plowed up the fields. Can you say soil erosion, dad?"
"Son, did I ever tell you that you take after your mother's side?"
"And what about slavery? It was the Europeans who created a flourishing slave trade in America. They did it to develop the land cheaply, so they could make giant profits. Columbus even made slaves out of some of the Indigenous Peoples who attacked him and his men."
"Son, do you remember where your mother hid the bourbon?"
"I'll tell you another thing, dad. Some people believe the only reason we even celebrate Columbus Day is because he was Italian, and the day is also a celebration of Italian heritage. Some believe that when FDR made Columbus Day official in 1934, he did so not just because Columbus discovered the New World, but because Italian immigrants in America represented millions of votes."
"Look, Billy, there are a lot of ways to look at what Christopher Columbus symbolizes. You can focus on the negative attributes, and there are some, or you can do what America has been doing for many years now: focus on the positive."
"Positive, dad?"
"Sure, Billy. Columbus represents the spirit of exploration, the spirit of pushing forward into the great unknown to find greater and better things. This has always been the spirit of America, the land of innovation and new ideas."
"What kind of ideas, dad?"
"How about the ideas of freedom and self-government, Billy? After Columbus opened a gateway to the New World, other European countries established colonies here, too. Eventually, some amazing historical figures would evolve in North America. They would create and fight for a way of life that has proved to be extremely successful - their ideas are still spreading and changing the world for the better."
"Really, dad?"
"Yes, son. The concept of freedom has taken root so solidly in America that people are free to criticize or praise anything, including whether or not Christopher Columbus was a hero or an ogre, or whether or not Columbus Day should still be celebrated in America. Now, do you have any other questions about history?"
"Sure, dad. Was Benjamin Franklin really a predatory male chauvinist womanizer?"
It is amazing how differently the left and right view America.
Dont let Tony Sopranos crew see this article!!!
LMAO!
For some reason, this always brings to mind the Bugs Bunny version of events where Columbus and King Ferdinand speak with stereotypic Italian and Mexican accents, respectively, and Queen Isabella says, in Mae West's voice, "Oh, Chris ... if you discover the New World, I'll give you my jewels."
Check out Ice Age Columbus on the Discovery channel.
He actually thought he had reached the East Indies when he landed in the New World, which means his estimate for the size of the globe was off by thousands of miles.
All was not peaceful in this hemisphere and the indifenous peoples' warred with one another, taking their land, their gold, and indoctrinating them in the new religious faith.
Their nitwit English teacher at the Catholic high school sold it to them. That is, until I got a hold of them.
Cordially,
"Columbus was a mediocre explorer at best."
In those days, if you came back alive, you were a great explorer.
There's some reasonably credible evidence that Columbus wasn't Italian at all, but Catalan.
Has this same teacher bother to tell the students that Bill Clinton was also credibly accused of being a serial rapist?
According to the girls, his hands were Roman.
(He's a proud Democrat, but he's got a great mind, and is unafraid to call the Dems out on their failures and hypocrisies.)
Since most of the rest of the world's populace had the same expectations at the time (and many of those with other ideas still thought the world was flat), it's hard to fault him for that misconception.
Very few people in the 15th century with even a rudimentary understanding of basic science still believed that the earth was flat. The shape of the earth was pretty well established by that time, and the Greek mathematician Eratosthenes had made a pretty accurate estimate of the earth's circumference as far back as about 200 B.C., which means Columbus' "science" was out of date by about 1,700 years.
Larry: "Rape, disease, slavery. What do you say for yourself Chris?
Chris: "I'm-a just an explorer!"
Larry: "They say you destroyed an indigenous people."
Chris: "All I wanna' do is prove the world, she a-round, like an egg!"
Cordially,
...then came the moment when Bugs thought he had hit land first, when he hears Columbus say from on top of the rock,
"Hey, Bugsa Bunny...! WHOOZA discover da America!?"
Anyway, I remember the 1992 protests here in Columbia, SC. Really goofy people. BTW, who was the state assemblyman that year who denounced Columbus, denounced English as an imperialistic language, and so he delivered the rest of his address....in SPANISH!!
Both.
I remember Flip Wilson's version where Queen Isabella sounds alot like Geraldine and is very happy that "Chris gonna find Ray Charles."
I think the phrase you're looking for is Neo-Lithic.
For an interesting take on Columbus, read "Pastwatch: the Redemption of Christopher Columbus", by Orson Scott Card. Nifty alternate-history sci-fi novel.
Mexicans celebrate Columbus Day as Dia de la Raza, because of the origin of the Mexican mestizo people:
http://www.elbalero.gob.mx/kids/about/html/holidays/race_kids.html
Whether we are Mexican, Italian, or just plain American, we all can celebrate the postive things that Columbus brought to us. We can also acknowledge the negative things (as well as how many of them have been overcome with time) without being overwhelmed by them.
It is time for all of us to stop following the dictates of the poobahs of the politically correct, the feminazis, the Christian-haters, and other radical-liberal censors. These miscreants bear a disproportionate responsibility for the continuing erosion of our civilization, and we would all be better off if we'd stop giving them free rein!!!!
lol
Ice Age Columbus was excellent. Of course, the left won't like that a Quarter of American Indians have been found to have European blood from the line of Europeans who really were the first to discover America. The next line of thinking will be how "we" oppressed the Woolly Mammoth, Sabre Tooth Tiger, and Short-faced Bear into extinction.
Who cares?
If Columbus had never sailed, the coast of South America would have been discovered in 1500 anyway (it was seen by Pedro Cabral on his way to India) so the New World would not have remained unknown to Europeans much longer.
 Good Grief! |
He was both. Contrast that with Senator Byrd... :')
alas:
Exploring Columbus (Great Man or Racist Oppressor?)
Pittsburgh Tribune-Review | October 9, 2005 | Tom Purcell
Posted on 10/09/2005 9:38:56 PM EDT by RWR8189
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1499666/posts
Morality and Columbus Day: Another View
Lew Rockwell | 10/7/03 | Tom Woods
Posted on 10/07/2003 4:54:41 PM EDT by traditionalist
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/996925/posts
Cornell Leftists Trash Columbus/America (City of Evil Alert)
FrontPage Magazine | October 14, 2003 AD | Joseph J. Sabia
Posted on 10/16/2003 9:35:42 PM EDT by jigsaw
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1002642/posts
Yecke takes a drubbing over Columbus comments
The Star Tribune | 11/11/03 | Norman Draper
Posted on 11/11/2003 2:11:54 PM EST by Solson
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1019475/posts
State Plays Orwellian with Columbus
FrontPage Magazine | 8/26/04 | Robert Spencer
Posted on 08/28/2004 6:13:16 PM EDT by wagglebee
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1201919/posts
The Crimes of Christopher Columbus
First Things and other sources | November, 1995
Posted on 10/11/2004 7:44:09 PM EDT by Coleus
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1242074/posts
but if Christopher had been Christine...
Queen Isabella: Evangelizer of the New World
Columbia | November 2004 | Cardinal Luis Aponte Martinez
Posted on 11/11/2004 12:46:57 AM EST by Coleus
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1277048/posts
And, according to his brother, a heavy cocaine user. Of course, no one would call him a traitor for giving our nuclear technology, super computers to make use of it, and advanced missile guidance systems to Communist China for campaign cash. Nah, nothing traitorous there.
George Bush and Christopher Columbus are the bad guys. And Congressmen Foley and Hastert, of course.
The guy that opened up the entire western hemisphere to civilization was mediocre? Few sailors today would venture to sail his three crude 15th century "ships" across Lake Erie. He was an incredibly intellectual merchant who studied the east Atlantic climate, currents and bet big on finding land to the west.
Dad: "America doesn't, son. It only seems like it because so many people work for the USPS."
Son: "Thanks Dad! You da man.".
...& the kid has a PhD. ;^)
"Of course, no one would call him a traitor for giving our nuclear technology, super computers to make use of it, and advanced missile guidance systems to Communist China for campaign cash. Nah, nothing traitorous there."
Clinton should have been hanged for this!
ROTFLMBO!
"Daddy, why do teachers hate America so much? They all seem to stay here."
He thought the Indians were attractive people. He could have been culturist, but he doesn't seem to have been very racist, especially compared to some of his contemporaries.
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