Thailand?
Posted on 10/13/2006 10:10:26 AM PDT by Froufrou
A mushroom erupted through the Quality Hill District today, damaging several downtown businesses, roads, gas and water conduits. No one was hurt. Mycologists deployed by the city's Office of Emergency Management have identified the mushroom as neither poisonous nor hallucinogenic, and have begun to coordinate a citywide cleanup operation.
Eyewitness Ken Summer, a medic at St. Mark's Southland Hospital, described the mushroom's sudden appearance:
"I watched as the ivory column grew and changed color. Then the sun disappeared and I couldn't see anything in the dark. There was a strange smell, delicate and musky. I pinched my nose, but I could still smell it. Then a dark rain fell, and marinated the streets."
City authorities suspect that the giant mushroom may be linked to a prizewinning specimen documented in 1897 at a local county fair. "This city was all farmland then," said Department of Agriculture spokesman Ben Soper. "And I'm sure that the recessive giantism gene that harmlessly won the blue ribbon in those days has been dormant in the mushroom population for a century, waiting to strike."
Local leaders remain divided about what to do with the enormous fungus. Real estate developers have been evaluating the cap, which they plan to split into lots for residential and commercial buildings.
"It's like getting a new skyscraper, free of charge," said developer Ross Marti. "And the view of the city from the subdivisions up there is just incomparable. We've got a slogan: 'Move up to the Mushroom: the stakes are too high for you to stay home.'"
Some city authorities look forward to an increase in tourism as a result of the botanical anomaly. But mycologists warn of a 'Mushroom Winter' caused by the mile-wide cap's obstruction of sunlight. And the threat of giant spores looms over the city.
"We just can't handle another mushroom," said one official, speaking on condition of anonymity.
Despite the lack of casualties, the domed fungus deeply frightens many Kansas City residents. One citizen, paralegal Kelly Martin, dreads her next commute, which will bring her within two blocks of the vast mushroom.
"It's forever changed the flavor of this city," she said.
ROFL!
Hmmm...how did they determine is wasn't hallucinogenic? >;o)
Thailand?
That's what inquiring minds want to know.
Have we evolved yet?
Best part is it sounds plausible. (The secret to good fiction.)
Didn't make the Weekly World News, though..;-)
Why, Madame, thank you for that information! I knew a guy like that too, but his problem was in another location.
I like this Flying Bra story better:
"Friday, October 13, 2006
Flying bra causes serious crash on I-75
"TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) _ A teenager who put her bra on a car antenna before it flew off and led to a highway accident will be charged with littering, a prosecutor said.
Emily Davis, 17, told investigators she took her bra off while her friend was driving on Interstate 75. James Campbell, who was driving behind the girls, said he swerved to avoid the bra and his car flipped several times. Campbell, 37, broke a vertebra in his neck during the Sept. 26 accident. His passenger, Jeff Long, 40, broke several ribs.
The girls told investigators that before the accident the men were motioning to them to lift up their shirts. The men denied it.
The girl's friend, Tabitha Adams, 17, said she told Davis not to hang her bra outside because she knew it would fly away."
Creamy Mushroom Soup
INGREDIENTS:
1 giant mushroom (diced)
4 53' semitrailers of butter, divided use
1/2 ton salt
100,000 medium sweet onions, chopped
4 dumptruck loads of flour
1/4 ton white pepper, or to taste
2,000,000 cans (10-3/4 ounces each) chicken broth
1/8 ton ground nutmeg
1,000,000 cups heavy cream
1 acre of chopped parsley for garnish
That's the one.
Nothing that a thousand gallons of olive oil and five tons of minced garlic couldn't fix. You'd need a big skillet though.
Nothing that a thousand gallons of olive oil and five tons of minced garlic couldn't fix. You'd need a big skillet though.
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I think the north korean mainland would work nicely. Simply add nuke.
Yum! Splash of wine?
Creamy Mushroom Soup
INGREDIENTS:
1 giant mushroom (diced)
4 53' semitrailers of butter, divided use
1/2 ton salt
100,000 medium sweet onions, chopped
4 dumptruck loads of flour
1/4 ton white pepper, or to taste
2,000,000 cans (10-3/4 ounces each) chicken broth
1/8 ton ground nutmeg
1,000,000 cups heavy cream
1 acre of chopped parsley for garnish
How big of a pot will I need? I am thinking something like those big storage tanks down at the oil refinery.
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