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Keyword: humor

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  • Another episode of semi-lockdown blues stuff: foreign tv series I liked. subtitled. Police,war,weirds tuff

    05/29/2020 5:23:28 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 19 replies
    me again ^ | 5-29-20 | the young and studly dynachrome
    Some series I have enjoyed. Croatian,russkies,chinese,lord-knows-who or what.
  • Chicago Gang Member Relieved To Discover All These Cops Just Here To Raid A Church (satire?)

    05/29/2020 12:39:19 PM PDT · by knighthawk · 2 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | May 29 2020
    CHICAGO, IL—The Devil's Thugs are a notorious Chicago gang, dealing mostly in money laundering, people-shooting, and graffitiing their gang's name onto signs so you'll know they're legit. Their leader and founder, Bob Thug, was frightened this past Sunday as he heard police sirens coming toward their secret hideout, which is an abandoned warehouse that says "No Gangs in Here" on the sign out front. When the violent gang member saw the flashing lights and SWAT teams heading his direction, he figured he was done for, so he was relieved to discover they were just raiding a dangerous church service nearby....
  • Rioters Decline To Sign Colin Kaepernick (satire)

    05/29/2020 12:37:26 PM PDT · by knighthawk · 8 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | May 29 2020
    MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Colin Kaepernick arrived at the Minneapolis riots last night, saying he was excited to be a part of the looting and violence. Kaepernick tried out for the riots by throwing bricks into windows but missed every time. He was able to rush a Molotov cocktail into a target window and then spike it on the ground, but then he caught fire. Finally, in a last-ditch effort to get selected for one of the riot squads, he filmed a workout video and sent it to various protester organizations but hadn't heard back as of publishing time. "While we appreciate Kaepernick's...
  • The Chris Plante Show, May 25th - May 29th, 2020, Mon-Fri, 9a-12p ET. WMAL-105.9 FM

    05/25/2020 5:51:04 AM PDT · by carriage_hill · 40 replies
    He's on-the-air, and on-fire. Rated one of America's Top 6 Talk Radio Show Hosts: Chris Plante from WMAL in DC. His show is the "prep work" for many other shows. And, unlike the others, he pulls no punches, tells it like it is and doesn't take any BS from liberal, demonKKKrat, leftist, commie, socialist, fascist and anarchist callers. He's the guy we'd all like to sit down with and have a dbl-cheeseburger and a cold one, while talking about the state of America, and the crazies who are pulling the strings, behind-the-scenes. Get a fresh refill of your favorite coffee,...
  • ****FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*****

    05/22/2020 7:56:22 AM PDT · by Colonial35 · 25 replies
    THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from the shower, my wife stands in front of the mirror complaining to me that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, I uncharacteristically come up with a suggestion. ‘If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.’ Willing to try anything, she fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. ‘How long will this take?’ she asked. ‘They will grow larger...
  • Biden: 'If You Don't Let Me Sniff Your Hair, You Ain't A Woman' (satire)

    05/22/2020 12:17:40 PM PDT · by knighthawk · 12 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | May 22 2020
    WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a recent interview with a female representative of the segment of the human species identifying as female, Biden made a strong case for why all women everywhere should vote for him without question, or at least let him sniff their hair. "Look, the thing, you know what it is," Biden said. "The womenfolk know what's at stake in this election. It's hairy simple. Just let me vote on you, or you vote for me, the vote, b-b-b-blond applesauce baloney. Simple choice. If you don't let me smell your hair, you ain't a woman!" Biden then sat back in...
  • Socialism, globalism and China appreciation rally June 31st

    05/18/2020 6:13:32 PM PDT · by Peter ODonnell · 9 replies
    original to Free Republic | April 47, 2020 | Peter O'Donnell
    The Society for Appreciation of China, Knowledge, Occultism, Fascism, Lung Infections, and Electoral Stupidity (SACKOFLIES) announced it was holding a series of public gatherings designed to let people show their appreciation for socialism, globalism and China, at a time when such appreciation seems even more appropriate than usual. "June 31 seems like a really good day to hold this event," said Luigi Pinnochio, the Italian national director of SACKOFLIES. "After seeing what these worthy groups have done for our country, I know that folks all around the world will want to head out, at an appropriate social distance of course,...
  • Morality Test

    05/16/2020 8:08:18 AM PDT · by Lakewood · 17 replies
    E-Mail | 5-15-20 | E-Mail
    Morality test! This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely and completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Only you will know the results, so remember that your answer needs to be honest. THE SITUATION: You are in Miami with chaos all around you caused by a hurricane. There is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster....
  • When You Have Resting Bitch Face

    05/15/2020 1:47:03 AM PDT · by House Atreides · 18 replies
    Medium.com ^ | Aug 14, 2016 | Victoria Yan
    Sorry, these are humorous images that need to be seen at link.
  • Police ask college students to stop partying so officers can ‘avoid humans’

    05/13/2020 9:40:49 PM PDT · by lightman · 14 replies
    Pennlive ^ | 13 May A.D. 2020 | Justine Lofton
    BATH TOWNSHIP, MI - A police department near Michigan State University is asking student housing residents to refrain from throwing large parties so officers can “avoid humans” during the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic. The Bath Township Police Department - known for its playful and hilarious social media presence - posted to the request to its Facebook page on Wednesday, May 13. “Dear residents of our student house, we’d prefer if we didn’t have to keep breaking parties up of 100-plus,” the post says. “K thanks.” The post is signed with “Officer trying to avoid humans.” The author tops off the post...
  • Charismatic Drive-In Service Requires All Cars To Have Hydraulics

    05/12/2020 1:24:49 AM PDT · by Norski · 9 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | May 11, 2020 | Staff
    FRESNO, CA—Windbreak Spirit Pentecostal Church announced last week that they would be holding drive-in Sunday services, but all participants will be required to have hydraulics installed on their cars. With the liberal use of hydraulics, Pentecostal drive-in services can have the same energy and wild jumping around that their normal, in-person services have. "In order to better facilitate a Spirit-filled worship time, all cars must be rollin' on phat hydraulics," said Pastor Vince Esperanza. "That way you can jump and sway along with the songs and make your car do crazy flips and stuff when the dope bridge hits." As...
  • 'Those Dumb Red-Staters Going To The Beach Deserve To Die,' Man Tweets From New York Subway Train [satire]

    05/11/2020 6:01:40 PM PDT · by grundle · 13 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | May 8, 2020
    NEW YORK, NY—“Those dumb red-staters going to the beach deserve to die!” Dan Robbins tweeted while packed in a subway train in New York City. Robbins was angered by images of people in red states going outside to enjoy themselves even while the virus still killed many Americans daily. There seems to be a partisan split in attitudes toward the pandemic, with red, less densely populated states not taking it as seriously as those from states that didn’t support Trump. Robbins had trouble composing the tweet, as he was elbow to elbow in the packed subway car. There had not...
  • The Chris Plante Show, May 11th - May 15th, 2020, Mon-Fri, 9a-12p EST. WMAL-105.9 FM. .

    05/11/2020 5:59:44 AM PDT · by carriage_hill · 39 replies
    He's on-the-air, and on-fire. One of America's Top 6 Talk Radio Show Hosts, IMO: Chris Plante from WMAL in DC. His show is the "prep work" for many other shows. And, unlike the others, he pulls no punches, tells it like it is and doesn't take any BS from liberal, demoknKKKrat, leftist, commie, socialist, fascist and anarchist callers. He's the guy we'd all like to sit down with and have a dbl-cheeseburger and a cold one, while talking about the state of America, and the crazies who are pulling the strings, behind-the-scenes. Get a fresh refill of your favorite coffee,...
  • How to Be More of an Idiot

    05/08/2020 6:49:15 AM PDT · by ShadowAce · 15 replies
    Youtube ^ | 08 My 2020 | JP
    Hysterical
  • The Chris Plante Show, May 4th - May 8th, 2020, Mon-Fri, 9a-12p EST. WMAL-105.9 FM

    05/04/2020 5:58:31 AM PDT · by carriage_hill · 38 replies
    He's on-the-air, and on-fire. One of America's Top 6 Talk Radio Show Hosts, IMO: Chris Plante from WMAL in DC. His show is the "prep work" for many other shows. And, unlike the others, he pulls no punches, tells it like it is and doesn't take any BS from liberal, demoknKKKrat, leftist, commie, socialist, fascist and anarchist callers. He's the guy we'd all like to sit down with and have a dbl-cheeseburger and a cold one, while talking about the state of America, and the crazies who are pulling the strings, behind-the-scenes. Get a fresh refill of your favorite coffee,...
  • George Carlin - Germs and Virus'

    05/03/2020 9:07:52 AM PDT · by ocrp1982 · 30 replies
    YouTube ^ | 3-16-2020 | Metal Matt
    It's Carlin - LANGUAGE
  • California Prisons Release Thousands Of Felons To Make Room For Skaters, Surfers, People Who Go Outside (Babylon Bee)

    05/03/2020 12:15:58 AM PDT · by knighthawk · 13 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | April 30 2020
    SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom has instructed detention facilities across California to begin releasing violent felons to make room for skateboarders, surfers, and other people who have committed the heinous crime of going outside. Thousands of cells have now been freed up for "the dregs of society," as Newsom referred to people who go to the beach or skate at a skate park. As the felons left the prisons, they laughed at the skaters and surfers entering their previous cells. The skater bros just said, "Dude, not cool" and the surfers said, "Totes not stoked bra, major kook move dude." "We...
  • Jordan Rachel: Having a 10 person limit for gatherings is not fair... that means Joe Biden can have his rallies but @realDonaldTrump can’t.

    05/01/2020 7:26:06 PM PDT · by EdnaMode · 20 replies
    Twitter ^ | May 1, 2020 | Jordan Rachel
    Having a 10 person limit for gatherings is not fair... that means Joe Biden can have his rallies but @realDonaldTrump can’t.
  • China Impressed By Michigan Governor's Totalitarian Policies

    04/29/2020 11:33:19 PM PDT · by Norski · 7 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | April 29, 2020 | Staff
    BEIJING—In a candid speech Tuesday, President Xi Jinping stated he was "pretty impressed" by Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer's handling of the coronavirus outbreak, specifically praising her totalitarian policies. China's dictator said he was actually a little jealous he hadn't thought of some of her ideas himself. "She has some pretty great ideas -- stopping people from gathering together even with their families, ordering people not to buy seeds -- they can't even plant their own food now! We hadn't even thought of some of these innovative approaches," the Communist president said. "We're always looking for more ways to oppress people,...
  • As Nation Reopens, Churches Having To Remind People To Put On Pants

    04/29/2020 11:27:58 PM PDT · by Norski · 12 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | April 29, 2020 | staff
    U.S.—Some churches across the nation have begun reopening, but pastors are running into a problem as many parishioners are forgetting to put on pants. Having grown accustomed to attending church on their couch in their underwear, Christians are having trouble adjusting to the old way of doing church, where you have to put on clothes. "We'd just gotten used to rolling out of bed, plopping down on the couch, and turning on the service 10 minutes late," said churchgoer Peter Wiley. "Now, they expect me to adjust back to wearing clothes and brushing my teeth and stuff? No way." "Remember,...