Posted on 10/26/2006 9:40:14 AM PDT by NYC Republican
There were peasants, prostitutes, several barrels of fermented horse urine and possibly the most politically-incorrect speech Britain has ever heard.
Borat, Kazakhstan's famous TV reporter, was in town.
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He arrived on a wooden cart drawn by a mule, surrounded by a gaggle of cheap-looking Kazakh ladies of the night.
And he brought laughter - although much more bafflement - to London's Leicester Square.
Unsuspecting office workers paused on their way home last night to watch as Borat attended the premier of his film, Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.
Borat, for the uninitiated, is the latest character of Ali G comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.
His persona as a Kazakh TV reporter - depicting his homeland as a nation of misogynists, racists and anti-Semites - has infuriated the country's President.
Last night, it was easy to see why. Baron Cohen hopped off his mule cart and declared: "Good evening gentlemen and prostitutes."
Wearing a bright yellow jacket and jeans, and oversized sunglasses, he grabbed a microphone and invited the crowds to join him after the screening at his hotel in King's Cross, where "We will all drink, wrestle with no clothes on and shoot dogs from the window."
Puzzled onlookers, standing in heavy rain, could be heard asking who on earth was speaking.
Lampooning Kazakhstan, Borat spoke warmly of the progress his home nation had made towards the modern world.
Such strides, he declared, as "women now permitted to travel on inside of bus" and "homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats."
Flanked by two fearsome-looking guards with bayonets, Borat said he would love to meet the Queen, though he stressed: "Not for sexy time."
He also said he was hoping to meet Madonna after reading about her adoption of 13 month old Malawian boy David Banda.
"I have brought here with me my 11-year-old son, his wife and their new-born baby, who I am hoping to sell to singing transvestite Madonna," he said.
And his verdict on English women? "Very nice, but I cannot say for sure because I have not had time to buy any," he remarked, adding: "Here the women have more hair on their heads than our women do on their backs but English women not look strong enough to pull a plough."
As celebrities such as Peaches Geldof, Trinny Woodall and Desperate Housewives star Jesse Metcalfe hurried into the cinema, Borat announced: "Now we will sing Kazakhstan national anthem. All who do not join in will be reported."
And off he went, booming out the song in English - well, there was some English in it - and it was possible to discern something about his nation's prostitutes.
As Borat sang a verse that went something like "Kazakhstan's filtration system a marvel to behold," the crowds were divided into those attempting to sing along with the joke, and those left utterly baffled by what was happening.
One onlooker, Tomsk Alojzy, 23, from Poland, said: "Is this supposed to be Eastern European or English humour? I really don't understand it."
Perhaps Borat still has much to learn from Hollywood stars such as Tom Cruise, famed for spending literally hours chatting to his fans.
High-fives and screeched greetings were the only reward Borat's sodden fans received from Baron Cohen.
Borat has dismayed the Government of Kazakhstan with his claims that the country's national pastimes are "disco dancing, archery, rape and table tennis."
The Central Asian state cannot work out how to respond. Its enraged president has threatened to sue Baron Cohen and has hired two Western PR companies to denounce Borat's jokes.
But other ministers have said many people are in danger of taking the character too seriously.
Tonight, the Kazakh government attempted to give Baron Cohen a taste of his own medicine by sending a real-life Kazakh TV star, Jantik Baimukhamedov, along to report on the premier.
But he succeeded only in confirming the inept stereotype by arriving late and being refused entry.
Maybe London got off lightly. In Toronto, at the film's world premier last month, Baron Cohen arrived in an oxcart pulled by six women ferrying a donkey in the back
Well Sir Paul would have been much better off with Her Majesty, than that bee-otch he is getting divorced from.
You've GOT to be kidding. He is hysterical.
No doubt about it. Trouble is, she changes from day to day.
He's a Kazak (the borat character)...
You know, I've run into so many people who dont know that track is on Abbey Road. They've never heard it. Very clever of the Beatles to put a long delay on the vinyl before you hit that track.
I've amazed quite a few folks by showing them that the track is there.
The Jerk is still one funny movie.
Martin / Akroyd retread == good point.
I have been to Almaty and there are many Russians there. In fact, I was told that more people speak Russian there than speak Kazakh.
Both the native Kazakh and the Russian women there are absolutely beautiful. Not just one or two, but almost everywhere you look. Must be something in the water, but it sure got this old man's heart pumping. I thought I was gonna snap my neck the way my head was turning so much.
Take care,
Ruck
That statement is useless without pictures. ;)
Looks like you're totally devoid of any sense of humor.
In the latest Wired mag, there's a story about how Mahir is convinced Cohen stole the idea from him.
Watch when I gets home BUMP.
Computer monitors are not a definitive gauge.
You're right, actually. Sorry I jumped the gun
What a refreshing reply! Thank you.
Actually, I have a great sense of humor and love to laugh, always have. My father said I have the same quickness to smile and laugh as his father, whose nickname, which was used by everyone who knew him, was Hap (short for Happy).
That suit is NOT black!
That suit is black NOT!
That suit is black.
NOT!
The key question with an idea is "who makes it work better?"
Were diu werlt alle min
von deme mere unze an den Rin
des wolt ih mih darben,
daz diu chunegin von Engellant
lege an minen armen.
Were all the world mine,
from the sea to the Rhine,
I would starve myself of it
so that the queen of England
might lie in my arms.
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