The Truth about Viet Nam Vets (oldie, but bears repeating)

D Magazine/POW Network ^ | June 1998 | B.G. Burkett and Glenna Whitley

[2ndDivisionVet]

The morning of Friday, April 18, 1997, Daniel Wells of McKinney took the stand in his own defense. Charged with aggravated sexual assault for fondling his girlfriend's 8-year-old daughter, Wells explained it was all a misunderstanding. Wells was a decorated Vietnam war hero, with two Purple Hearts and two Bronze Medals for valor. On cross-examination, testimony revealed that even the mother initially hadn't believed the little girl. It was the war hero's word against the child's. In desperation the prosecutor's office tracked down B.G. Burkett, a silver-haired Dallas financial adviser who has obtained a national reputation as a military researcher and historian of the Vietnam War. Within an hour, Burkett had obtained Wells' military record. That afternoon, Burkett drove to McKinney, was sworn in as an expert witness, and testified that Daniel Wells was a fake. He had a mediocre military career as a Navy cargo handler; he had never served in combat, nor had he ever received any valorous decorations. Wells' story fell apart. He was sentenced to 20 years. Like the nationally infamous Larry Lawrence, the big Democratic donor who invented a story of heroic action in the merchant marine and was briefly interred in Arlington National Cemetery, Daniel Wells had concocted his Vietnam war stories from true-life accounts in books and magazine articles. Wells' lies were no surprise to B.G. Burkett. Whenever a media story portrays a troubled Vietnam vet who relies on the war to explain or excuse himself, Burkett investigates. In most cases, the purported vet is an exaggerator or an outright fake.

[dcwusmc]

Also much more here:
http://allpoetry.com/list/1370

[leadpenny]

Thanks for the piece. A variation of it is that you can always tell it's a war story if it starts off with, "This is no #hit, there I was, . . ."

When I got back to Ft. Knox in the early seventies I was in the Air Cav Squadron. Just about every pilot was a Vietnam Vet, so down-time usually meant war story time. One of the Troop Ops Officers decided to put a "war story poll" in the middle of his ops office. If someone started with a yarn they were required to hang onto the poll and put on a combat helmet before they could finish the story.

Back to your link, the examples at the end of the piece are very interesting and I guess you could call them 'tells', and I've heard some like them in conversations.

[leadpenny]

Thank you Gunny. Very moving. I'm going to track down "Aftermath."

[leadpenny]

Speaking of war stories - a joke. Maybe I can tell it:

Teacher asks her 5th graders to bring in a story from their parents that has a moral. The next day she asks if anyone has a story.

Cindy raises her hand and the teacher calls on her. Cindy tells how her mother grew up on a farm and counted the eggs that were about to hatch. A few days later some of them, but not all, hatched. The teacher then asked for the moral. Cindy said, "You can't count your chickens before they hatch."

Bonnie has her hand up. The teacher calls on her. Bonnie said her dad also grew up on a farm and one day he put a basket of eggs on the front seat of the P/U truck and headed to the market. On the way he hit a bump and the basket fell off the seat and many of the eggs broke open. "The moral" said the teacher? Bonnie said, "You don't put all your eggs in one basket."

The teacher is trying to avoid Joey but he's the only one left with his hand up. Okay, Joey, what is your story?

Joey told about his Uncle Bill who had been in Vietnam. Uncle Bill had been a door gunner on a Huey and he always carried a machete and a bottle of Jack Daniels. One day the Huey took a lot of enemy fire and he knew they were going to go down. Uncle Bill first chugged what was left of the Jack Daniels. The Huey crashed in the middle of the enemy. Uncle Bill got the M-60 and his machete and attacked. He fired the M-60 until he ran out of ammo. He then fought them with his machete until the blade broke off, and then he fought with his bare hands.

The teacher didn't want to ask for the moral but she did.

"That's easy" said Joey, you don't f with Uncle Bill when he's been drinking.