Skip to comments.Thanksgiving Advice
Posted on 11/18/2006 9:07:47 PM PST by george76
*Storebought pies are of the debbil. Don't do that. Pies are ridiculously easy to make, and the house smells so good when they're baking.
*If you have a full house and need to set up a separate table for the kiddies, try to orient it so that you can reach the back of the worst kid's head with a spatula. That way you won't have to get up during the meal.
*Put a long-handled spatula next to your plate.
*Give the turkey enough time to thaw. Your relatives don't want to see you desperately shoving a blowtorch inside Mr. Turkey on Thursday morning.
*If you can manage it, cooking the turkey breast-side down for much of the cooking time does help keep the breast meat moist.
*Seat your weird red-haired cousins in another room and shut the door.
*If their mother objects, put her in there too. She'll come back without them in three minutes. She'll keep her yap shut for the rest of the meal as a bonus.
*If livingroom seating is inadequate, throw something soft on the floor that the kids can lounge on during the football game, while the adults are sleeping.
I'm sure all you guys have other great ideas and helpful hints.
(Excerpt) Read more at ace.mu.nu ...
If your Uncle is nodding off on the easy chair, let him.
i'm laughing so hard i'm crying!
What you got against red heads, anyway? You know dang well our family tree don't fork, Ms. Kirby-Muxloe. ;)
For some. Last time I tried cooking, it ended with a visit from the EPA. Not good times. :)
I asked Mrs. RQSR if she had any Thanksgiving tips.
She said "none we can post".
me? have something against redheads?
now where on earth would you get that idea?
Here's my recipe for the perfect Thanksgiving:
Invite no one
Accept no invitations
Stock up on beer
Order a pile of pizza the night before
On Thanksgiving day enjoy your beer, pizza and football, don't even take a shower if you don't want to, it's not like you're going to have company. And don't forget to be thankful for all that life has provided, including the sense to not ruin a perfectly good holiday with insane and stressful plans, which includes not going anywhere with a cash register on black Friday.
A question taken from Ace...
Unstuff BOTH sides of the turkey. Personal experience.
Ditto that part!
Pies are ridiculously easy to make, but learning to make great pies takes years of experience. I am the Pie Queen! Without writing a Pie Opus, I recommend making your crust with lard. I'm here to help....
Well, I am guessing that my WIFE, leda, would give the little tramp a swift kick.
How to ruin Thanksgiving
" What if you are the weird red-haired cousin?"
Bring some of the pie with you.
what do you mean?
She really looks happy with that big well stuffed bird.
Definitely don't want to arm wrestle her, that thing is huge.
Get off alone "give thanks" frequently to adjust you're attitude..
Don't forget to remove the giblets from the turkey before roasting...(learned that one early on - the hard way). Will not soon forget mother-in-law exclaiming "What..you forgot to take out the giblets??!!*$"
Throwing a turkey in the clothes dryer for emergency thawing does not work. (I didn't do this, but someone else did)
"Burnt" is not a flavor.
If you cooked the meal, and someone complains, resist the urge to drown them in the gravy bowl.
Instead of Pecan Pie use WALNUTS... Walnut Pie..
Made the same but it will be talked about until you leave this human experience..
No kidding.. you will thank (( ME ))....
See my post 13. I knew that giblets were in one end, but didn't realize they were in the other.
See my post 13. I knew that giblets were in one end, but didn't realize they were in the other.<<<<<<<<<<<
Exactly!! Who knew??? I found the neck, but who would have thought they'd stuff a bag in the other end full of weird bird parts. I never made that mistake again...
Make sure there are enough giblets to make the dressing. We buy a extra package just in case. We have gotten 2 free turkeys from Foster Farms because of skimpy giblets...
**Freeper Kitchen Ping**
I didn't know one could acquire extra giblets! Useful info, thanks!!
See post 23 for your answer.
Not enough whipped cream. You can still see the pie....
" I have a question not a suggestion: What should you do when you discover that your female cousin whom you haven't since seen she was ten is now 18 years old and all grown up and really, really hot and you're alone with her in the bedroom where everyone has thrown their coats and she's bending over the bed to get something from her coat and you're standing directly behind her? "
I would say, "That reminds me. I forgot to have some pie."
Remember to actually turn the oven on. Otherswis, dinner will be VERY delayed.
At the table keep lefty liberal aunt Rebecca away from staunch conservative Uncle Bert.
My brothers decided to roast the turkey.
When it came out of the oven one of my brothers began to carve it. All at once he stopped and said, "Where did the white meat go??"
They had put it in upside down. I was laughing so hard I almost got sent down to the childrens table.
Turns out the turkey was one of the moistest we ever had. Since then we always put the turkey upside down for the first hour.
Be sure and have ALL ingredients you need on cooking day -- the corner convenience store is sadly lacking in the makings for real whipped cream and fresh sweet potatoes.
*Seat your weird red-haired cousins in another room and shut the door.
since all my kids' cousins are red heads, what do I do?
To Roast the perfect turkey every time, it's just an 11 simple step program to success, here's how Carlo3b does it.. hehe
What to buy: Because most holiday celebrations consist of families members you don't even like, balanced with whinny children and crotchety grandparents, but plenty of favorite side dishes and desserts, I recommend buying 1 lb per person..
1. Your frozen Turkey should thaw in the refrigerator or cold water. Depending upon the size, don't kid yourself size does count, this could take a couple of days. When ready to cook, preheat the oven to 315° to 330° F, individual oven vary. I recommend using a meat thermometer. Turkey is fully cooked when the thigh's internal temperature is 180° F. The thickest part of breast should read 170° F and the center of the stuffing should be 160°.
2. When it's defrosted, you'll discover STUFF inside the body cavity, it belongs there DUH, it's the giblets (don't ask) from the neck cavity. Take everything out and rinse the whole bird and damp dry it inside and out with paper towels.
3. Before roasting, stuff the neck and body cavities with favorite dressing / stuffing, loosely. Twist the wings back to hold the neck skin in place, and return legs to tucked position if un-tucked. No trussing should be necessary, but if you enjoy sewing ..HA!
4. Put the turkey, breast side up, (there is a new theory though, contrary to this tradition placing the breast down) on a flat rack in an open roasting pan about 2 inches deep, in the center of your oven. Back away Quickly.... LOL... just kidding ;^))
5. Insert the meat thermometer deep into the thickest lower part of the thigh next to the body, but do not touching the bone.
6. Baste the skin with vegetable oil frequently (it isn't really necessary, but you look so important doing it), to keep the skin from drying, and creating a beautiful brown glow...
7. Everything that comes in contact with any raw meat or fish, including all utensils, sink and counter tops, (your hands too) should be wiped down with hot/warm soapy water with an couple of oz. of bleach. This is a habit I hope you get used to doing, just do it!!
8. Roast you bird. Hahaha at 325° F, for approximately, 10 to 18 lbs. 3 to 3-1/2 hrs, 18 to 22 lbs, 3-1/2 to 4 hrs, and 22 to 24 lbs, 4 to 4-1/2 hrs, about a half to 1 hr longer if stuffed.. When the skin is slightly golden, about 2/3 done, cover the top loosely with aluminum foil to prevent burning..
9. Wear an apron with your name on it or something cool, and stuff a towel in your waist band, if you have a waist.. Bwhahahhah, ..sorry, and frequently wipe your hands if you need it or not, and wipe you forehead when someone walks in!
Chef Carlo TIP!! Keep a beer or better, in the middle shelf of your refrigerator to keep you sane during the boring time you spend in the kitchen, because it's so simple.. but NEVER, NEVER tell anyone about it, and burn this page after reading it!!
10. When done, let the turkey stand for 15 to 20 minutes before carving. Put this masterpiece on a pre warmed oval plate that one you never use, and put pretty stuff like flowers and greens, or apples all around it. Complain about you back, but smile bravely with that pained look you can do, as you bring it in to your waiting suckers, dear family!!
11. Accept tips ....cash that is, NEVER TAKE ADVICE ..ha!
Taken almost verbatim from a great chefs advice page.. Winn-Dixie Executive Chef Robert Tulko
Thank you Carlo.
A lot of people will appreciate these instructions.
The most important part of making the Thanksgiving meal IS the beer in the refrigerator!
The Pilgrims didn't serve pasta at Thanksgiving and neither do I:-)
I'm spending Thanksgiving with my son and his family in Canada.
We are going to eat---out.
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