Posted on 11/26/2006 5:02:22 AM PST by shrinkermd
....More American women than ever are putting motherhood before matrimony. New data released by the Centers for Disease Control show that nearly four in 10 U.S. babies were born outside of marriage in 2005—a new high. These unwed moms aren't all teens—last year teen pregnancies fell to their lowest levels in 65 years. Some—like 44-year-old Mary Lee MacKichan, who used a gay friend as a sperm donor—are professional, older women who want to have babies before their biological clocks run out, but most are low-income twentysomethings. (Unwed births among 30- to 44-year-olds are up 17 percent since 1991; among those 25 to 29, they're up 30 percent.) And some 40 percent of those moms aren't going it alone—they're cohabiting, at least for a while. That's creating a major shift in what a generation of children are coming to call a family. "Marriage is still alive and well, but it has a lot of competition," says Wellesley College sociologist Rosanna Hertz, author of "Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice."
Ironically, sociologists say, marriage may be on the decline precisely because it has become so idealized. People expect more from marriage than they did a century ago, when it was mainly a practical arrangement to provide financial stability for women and a place to raise children. "Now it's not only love and romance but also self-fulfillment and personal growth," says Pamela Smock, professor of sociology at the University of Michigan. Since there's no longer much of a stigma attached to getting pregnant outside of marriage, many couples have replaced "shotgun weddings" with "shotgun cohabitations
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
Mamzelle you have been dating the wrong men.
I kinda thought maybe she was a Lesbian too.
The story didnt say, but even a hard up lesbian doesnt look all that bad after a 6-pack. She could have gotten this the natural way if she had chosen to do so.
No, she's working at a career-oriented full time job for a Fortune 100 company.
So you're suggesting that we go back to the 19th century so that housewives can feel fulfilled... I'm sure many housewives would prefer to spend their time working at a part time job or taking care of their children rather than dying their own wool. And the modern conveniences are a big help to working parents...
Not a bit of it! But the idea that the home is a prison and a waste of intellectual and creative resources is itself something of a modern phenomenon, and was not necessarily the *intent* of the arrangements. Before industrialization, men worked like dogs at hard manual labor, which was no picnic either.
Staying home and keeping house can also suck big time. I think that vacuuming and cooking pot roast for dinner would be pretty boring. The corporate scene can be pretty annoying sometimes, but it has one redeeming quality... a paycheck.
Working at home can be pretty annoying sometimes, but it has several redeeming qualities. Autonomy, lack of politics, and getting to guide, mold, and interact with your children, instead of watching them being formed into little pastiche lumps of mush without the capacity for reflection or for original thought. Try reading Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. :-)
I'm not arguing against your choice per se, but suggesting that the reasons you are currently giving for it do not hold as much water as you seem to think. A mere relationship with a spouse can sometimes be a full-time job in itself; when you add children into the mix, it can be a career in itself, in terms of demands upon you. But those demands tend to fluctuate over time; and the knowledge of someone waiting for you at home (for hot raw sex, all the way down to flirting while making dinner, to commiserating over that pr*ck in the Atlanta office) tends to make the struggle in the workplace worth it. The presence of a strong family (and therefore well-adjusted people) is one of the necessary ingredients for the social matrix in which successful businesses can grow.
In another vein, you might want to surf over to other threads and read excerpts from Mark Steyn's writings about the demographic suicide of the West...
Cheers!
If a single woman can support the child emotionally and financially, I don't see the harm in letting her have it. Perhaps, this is the way for America to keep from becoming like Europe and having a declining population.
It seems to me you have your head on straight. You have personal, educational, and professional goals that are commendable.
If a man doesn't want that type of woman then he's probably not the type of man you would want anyway. Including a few who posted in this thread.
Remember, even if you live alone, you still have to cook, clean, and do laundry; or pay to have it done.
Cheers!
There was no need to insult FauxBlonde and her husband.
As for being an ideal parent, you couldn't possibly know as you haven't had your own child yet. Once you have, then you can respond with authority on the matter. Everything else is just guessing.
Ma'am I haven't got a bitter or resentful bone in my body and nowhere did I denigrate women that get their MBAs. What I denigrated was your belief that the meaningfulness of an occupation is proportionate to the compensation.
I would also dispute your the assertion as fact that women getting MBAs automatically constitutes "progress".
If I recall Pysch 101 your last post to me is either displacement or projection.
And it's "your friends", not "you're friends".
Its been interesting but I have a prior engagement with
She Who Must Be Obeyed, bye.
"I'm sure that for someone who lives in a trailer park or an inner city ghetto, a guy who works as a mechanic is a good catch."
Disgusting sentiments but seeing that you're quite the snob, not surprising in the least. Tell me, what's your opinion of those Marines and soldiers out on patrol in Baghdad right now? Most of them don't have college degrees. They all get paid squat. Judging from your comments and attitude you wouldn't even give them the time of day; guys who exhibit bravery, courage and patriotism on a daily basis. But since their pay checks don't have enough zeros, they suck. Perhaps its a blessing in disguise though. Would they so readily put their lives on line knowing it was for women like you who thought so low of them?
Lasagne calls!
Women do consider how much earning potential their future mate makes when considering marriage. Women want to feel they are secure and will be protected.
I think some of what you're saying, though not the way you're saying it. It is likely that a highly educated woman will have more in common with a highly educated man than with a car mechanic. That's not entirely true though since there's a lot more than just intellectual backgrounds that can make a marriage work or not. However, your idea that a career is somehow more fulfilling to a woman than home and family is silly. I'm in a career. It's kind of fun. But compare that to raising my kids and being able to take care of my husband like I'd like to? No way. I'm looking forward to changing to mommy-status in a few years.
I am biased though since my parents married when they were 18 and my mother stayed home with us. Since I'd be dead if my mother had done what you apparently think is the best thing for a teenage girl starting college to do if she gets pregnant, or if she'd thought getting an MBA was more important than having her child, I'm a little offended by blanket statements about how "no one should be getting married at nineteen" or "children of 18 have no business having babies".
If their mindset is centered on $$$ signs or one upping their friends with their "catch" rather than indications of te man's ACTUAL worth then women being dissatisfied with the men they date isn't surprising.
That's not what I said.
I was not trying to be disrepectful. I was just stating facts as I witness then. I am an old Great Grand Daddy (thankfully to my Creator). I am not looking for a bimbo.
How's that? You and Ac keep repeating as to the importance of a man's earning power and education level. I point out that our best guys over in Iraq and Afghanistan right now make next to nothing (you even KNOW what an LES is?) and lack degrees but ARE good and decent. But using your estimate of a man's worth, they're no better than those who work at fast food joints. The bottom line of all this is if you, as a woman, measure a man by his wallet, don't be surprised if you get disappointed although once again perhaps its a good thing those in uniform don't get exposed to greedy materialists such as urself and Ac.
Why can't college girls marry men who are less educated than they? Men do it all the time, why can't we...
Just wanted to get that off my chest! :)
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