Posted on 11/26/2006 5:02:22 AM PST by shrinkermd
....More American women than ever are putting motherhood before matrimony. New data released by the Centers for Disease Control show that nearly four in 10 U.S. babies were born outside of marriage in 2005—a new high. These unwed moms aren't all teens—last year teen pregnancies fell to their lowest levels in 65 years. Some—like 44-year-old Mary Lee MacKichan, who used a gay friend as a sperm donor—are professional, older women who want to have babies before their biological clocks run out, but most are low-income twentysomethings. (Unwed births among 30- to 44-year-olds are up 17 percent since 1991; among those 25 to 29, they're up 30 percent.) And some 40 percent of those moms aren't going it alone—they're cohabiting, at least for a while. That's creating a major shift in what a generation of children are coming to call a family. "Marriage is still alive and well, but it has a lot of competition," says Wellesley College sociologist Rosanna Hertz, author of "Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice."
Ironically, sociologists say, marriage may be on the decline precisely because it has become so idealized. People expect more from marriage than they did a century ago, when it was mainly a practical arrangement to provide financial stability for women and a place to raise children. "Now it's not only love and romance but also self-fulfillment and personal growth," says Pamela Smock, professor of sociology at the University of Michigan. Since there's no longer much of a stigma attached to getting pregnant outside of marriage, many couples have replaced "shotgun weddings" with "shotgun cohabitations
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
Great job thanking ol' skepsel for keeping you and yours safe back in the day...oh wait, you didn't do that. Sorry, my bad.
I'd tell her about how I was a Jiffy Lube guy on a 26 million dollar Air Force jet back when she was watching Roadrunner cartoons, but i don't think she'd appreciate it. :-)
I don't know if this counts, but I outranked my wife when I married her...and I still had more time in grade when she got out, so I STILL outrank her twelve years later! :-)
There you go again...he said (paraphrasing) "Corporate work and college don't prepare you for raising small children" and you took that as "Isn't it great when High School kids start raisin' young uns in the trailer park?" Some of your points may be valid, but they're wrapped in a fog of snobbery and intellectual bankruptcy.
Where'd you get the psychic powers that told you this poster "on an anonymous message board" has been working in a dead end job for two decades? Was it from some radioactive brie?
Repentence is always right around the corner.
While people are usually practical when deciding to marry, the reason for marrying is different than the reason they stay together. They marry for "chemistry" and they stay together for "friendship." Most, but not all, successful marriages eventually rely on friendship to cement a life time bond.
Looked at this way, marriage has more benefits than most young people appreciate.
exactly.
"Most of the women that post on FR have at least some college education, many have advanced degrees, and a lot are professionals."
And if they actually wanted to use that education for something other than the local PTA, then I believe that they should be working or at least planning to go back to work than when their kids get older. I'd never think about blowing upwards of $70,000 on a Mrs. Degree.
"Raising children is more than just dumping them off at the day care."
Of course, but shouldn't both parents be making sacrifices to raise their children, not just the mother?? Also, if a couple decides to have someone stay home with the children, why couldn't it be the father?? Please explain to me why it is always the women who has to give up her career entirely.
Moreover, some couples can't even consider having one parent stay home with the kids. They need both incomes in order to pay the mortgage, the car payments, food, insurance, etc.
"The consequences of not following God's blueprint for a happy marriage and bringing up a family are tragic."
Yep, God's plan for woman is for her to be a stay-at-home mom. That kinda goes against the idea of God and equality that I've always had.
Yep, valuing college makes me an elitist.
"The consequences of not following God's blueprint for a happy marriage and bringing up a family are tragic."
Yep, God's plan for woman is for her to be a stay-at-home mom. That kinda goes against the idea of God and equality that I've always had
Well it may be God's blueprint, but he's not the general contractor.
What's so bad about a highly educated woman raising children? At the very least her kids are likely to get the benefit of that education. Once I have kids I'm not planning to work. Maybe when the kids are gone, I'll go back. Maybe I'll work from home. Who knows. But once there are kids, they're our first priority. I'll make the sacrifice of not working (oh, gosh, big one). My husband will make sacrifices to make sure I can stay home.
He could stay home if that's how we wanted it. But my career is much more likely to let me work from home than his. And I want to stay home with our kids. I think that's the optimum solution. I wonder if perhaps your outlook will change when you meet someone? Though if you only date people like yourself I can see problems.
You'd say my time in school was wasted since I plan to ditch the rat race for kids. I'd disagree. I was self-supportive before meeting my husband, rather than living off my parents, I have the ability to support a family if something should happen to my faily, and I have the knowledge that the degree represents.
I'm just not sure why you can't accept that staying home with kids is something intelligent women can decide they want to do. Isn't that the beauty of this country, that we have these choices?
"I'm 37, and while I would consider marrying a woman who wanted to have a flexible job (say nursing or teaching) that is compatible with child rearing, I'd never consider marrying a woman who had her heart set on climbing the corporate ladder and would end up outsourcing the raising of my kids to a day care center."
If you're so concerned with your children being in daycare, why don't you stay home with them??? Please explain why your wife has to.
"This comes not out of the belief that women are second class citizens, but rather that they are first class citizens and deserve my unmitigated efforts to care for, provide for, and cherish them as the treasures they are."
Most grown women don't want to be treated as children.
I'd say that since you have two disabled children; that sacrifices such as staying home with the kids might be necessary. However, it should be the parent making the less money, not just the wife by default.
However, I don't see how this relates to developmentally normal children. Why shouldn't a woman, especially one who doesn't want to, be a stay-at-home mom?
There is no need to try and open you eyes to the real world.
Maria
Wow - nice to know that, with no MBA and no knowledge of mechanics, I make more than both of those! :)
There's someone out there for everyone. Some men do love their career women, I'm happy to say, and for other men there are homebodies who don't care about education and careers. We can all be happy.
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