From trophy wife to toxic wife

Telegraph ^ | 16 January 2007

[HamiltonJay]

Me thinks there is at least a bit of "artistic license" taken with this story.

Not that there are no women out there like this, but I believe there is a bit more fiction than fact in this one.

[KC_Conspirator]

"There's another reason these husbands don't divorce," added a sympathetic onlooker. "They don't want to admit to failure – they don't want to be ungallant. There's an unspoken nobility or gentlemanly understanding that divorce is something they don't do."

I believe there is some truth in this, especially in England.

[caver]

You are right! I have no sympathy for the husbands. They reap what they sow.

[JamesP81]

Likely to get some crap started ping.

[JamesP81]

One wonders why men would even bother with marriage anymore. Increasingly, they aren't and for good reason.

[Old_Mil]

For those of you doubting the veracity of this article, I was married to this woman:

"It is like a perversion of the evolution theory: they have evolved into creatures whose function is simply to get the most for doing the least," whispered an exhausted husband to me recently. "I wouldn't mind providing her with so much if she just did something for me occasionally. She's never even once cooked me a meal."

...for 4.5 years. She filed for divorce when I lost my job.

[stevio]

Proverbs 31:
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

[stevio]

I guess I should have read down the posts before I made my previous post. Anyway, I thank God I have a good one.

[DugwayDuke]

""My wife," chipped in husband number two, "gives over the whole of the weekend to pursuing what she calls 'me time'."

Nothing new here. Four of us used to play golf. One day, one of the guys announced this would be his last day to play. His wife would be giving birth in a few weeks so he would be busy. Now, that was understandable but he went on that after the baby was born, he would be taking care of the baby on the weekends so his wife could have 'her time'.

We all wished him well.

[HamiltonJay]

Even in the US... Your word is your word, granted most folks don't take it seriously anymore, but some do.

[Fierce Allegiance]

I'd be happy with someone who just wants to be as good to me as I am to them.

[Jaded]

Don't we all. But we're all on FR on the weekends because it is scary out there.

[Redleg Duke]

It is unfortunate that there are no "truth in packaging" laws. If there were, we "stupid men" wouldn't have to place all, repeat, all of you women in the "probable toxic-wife" category!

[LaineyDee]

Good reply Dolly.

I dated a very wealthy man a couple years ago. He wanted to marry...BUT he was already married to his business and NASDAQ.

He had lots of cool toys I could have played with to keep me occupied for awhile, but I'm afraid I'd have lost who I was (and what he thought he wanted in me)...in the process. I would be lying if I said I wasn't tempted a little bit...for who doesn't like to toy with the thought of never wanting for anything again? :)

He, my family and friends thought I was NUTZ for breaking it off.....but they didn't see what I did. Everything was about keeping up appearances and living in some sort of vacuum....treating others that are less fortunate, as "non-beings". (goes against my nursing concepts)

My thoughts when I walked away....."For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world.....but lose his own soul?"

[Redleg Duke]

"I've not had the guts to try it again."

Sounds more like you learned from your experience. There are very few "good and decent" women out there. Most have bought into the feminist garbage. It is all about themselves. Even their offspring are there to glorify their existence and to serve as trophies. They get diagnosed as ADD and stuffed with drugs to make them docile!

[MHGinTN]

Regardless of age differences, the key is to see the other as they are, not as you imagine them to be. Along with that, one needs to admire the other and hold their joy in life (all aspects of life) as vital to their own joy in life. Being a nuturer of the other is vital, even if the other is a professional person. BTW, couples take care of each other, but it is not the healthiest basis for a relationship to begin with one taking care of the other, unilaterally. It may go in that direction based upon unanticipated events in life, but it is not a healthy basis for starting a relationship. M. Scott Peck's People Of The Lie is a great book to open eyes and bring a person to some level of consciousness ... a place to start.

[Gamecock]

I've got a trophy wife.

I married her 18.5 years ago, she gave me three beautiful kids, stuck with me when times were bad, puts up with my silliness.

Yup. I've got a trophy wife!

[Aquinasfan]

Apparently there's a new take on "having it all" – and it's not what the majority of us understood it to mean. Back in the 1970s, it meant effortlessly maintaining a beautiful home, entertaining in grand style, raising perfect children, keeping the husband sweet and having some sort of career in order to create financial independence.

Oh. I thought "having it all" meant knowing, loving and serving God in this life so that we could be happy forever with him in the next, and reasonably happy in this life.

Actually, I didn't learn that until later in life. In the '70s I held the same worldly ideas.

Matthew 7:13

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it."

[Texas_shutterbug]

Considering I was up with a nursing baby for a few months ( times five kids) you can be DAMN sure that my husband wouldn't have been on the golf course on the weekends. I needed to catch up on my sleep!

With two days in the weekend, and several kids and a wife who need attention, spending a day on the golf course just wasn't his priority - thank God.

He picked up other hobbies, tennis, and running, which took up smaller chunks of time. :)

For all the bitching about women on this board, in my community, so many women are golf widows that the weekend is "me-time" for them. Mom and the kids, anyway.

[Aquinasfan]

"When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy." -- Oscar Wilde

Hey, old Oscar wasn't all bad.