All I can say to men is choose well and be a good husband. But I'm sorry that I don't agree with your men as victim argument all the way. As long as women carry the child, they hold the trump card. It's never been otherwise. Why would you think it would be?
If one is to believe the argument that it is a woman's body and she can do with it what she wants, then she has the greater responsibility for her becoming pregnant. A man can't get pregnant, can't have sex with a woman without her permission, but he doesn't have any say in whether or not she aborts the baby or keeps it.
I'm not saying that a man has no responsibility in a woman getting pregnant. It usually takes two for a pregnancy to happen. But, if it is her body, her choice to have sex, her choice to use birth control or not, then his responsibility is much less than hers. Right or wrong, the courts do not see it this way with regard to pregnancy. He must pay.
I'm not saying a many shouldn't pay, only that a woman gets to have it both ways. It's both her body and she's not fully responsible for her choices with regard to her body.