The barriers regarding divorce are simply too lopsided. OK, a man wants to leave his wife and the system makes him "pay" for it through the financial settlement in divorce. Fair enough, he chose to leave and therefore he must pay equitably. So when the husband chooses divorce, he does this knowing the penalty.
Not what happens on the flip side, where is the barrier to the woman who wants to leave her husband? It doesn't exist, the husband still faces the same "penalty" even when he does not initiate the divorce. A sane system would reverse this - but it will never happen, because the wife is looked upon as the "victim", initiating the divorce of the "evil husband", and therefore should face no penalty in doing so.
And the trickle down effect of this is - men fear marriage, because they fear being caught up in the financial ruin of divorce, even if they do not initiate it. Until society deals with this simple fact, marriage rates will continue to decline.
I've found myself thinking that way the older and more financially secure I become. I have much more to lose and less time to replace it. Plus, I've seen how good loving marriages can turn into the most vicious of battle fields with the only winners being the lawyers. I don't like feeling the need to be so careful or to be suspicious of strong emotions and believe I've missed a couple of potentially very satisfying relationships.
I think you are right.Divorce court is the only place I know where you can lose more that half of what you own (and often even your offspring) all with absolutley no proof of having done something wrong.
Even the IRS can't take your kids.