There oughta be a law!
Posted on 02/04/2007 5:43:10 AM PST by raccoonradio
You’re Rep. Marty Meehan, and you were supposed to be in Miami today, basking in the Super Bowl XLI glow from YOUR New England Patriots.
You had your reservations, dammit, but then something happened in Indianapolis, and now you’re back in Lowell. And on Friday in Boston you had a job interview - you, Marty Meehan, the congressman with the biggest campaign war chest of all 435 members of the House. Five million bucks.
You’ve got so much cash they call you “Midas” Meehan, and now you’re interviewing for the job of chancellor of UMass-Lowell.
When it comes to golden parachutes, they don’t get much smaller than UMass-Lowell. Unless, perhaps, you’re allowed to sit on a few corporate boards.
You’re Marty Meehan and you pledged to leave Congress in 2000 after four terms. Now it’s 2007 and you’re still there, but finally it may be time to fulfill your pledge - better late than never, right?
And now every ambitious pol in the Valley figures you’re out, so they’re already running for your seat, stepping over your still-warm body like you’re Chester Greenough Atkins or somebody. You hear the names of the candidates, and some you can believe - and others, well . . . State Rep. Barry Finegold of Andover, Sen. Steve Baddour of Methuen, former Lowell Mayor Eileen Donoghue, Nikki Tsongas. What? Mrs. Paul Tsongas?
You’re U.S. Rep. Marty Meehan and the only other title you ever wanted in front of your name was Senator. But again, something happened, this time in Pasadena, a botched joke by John Kerry, and now he’s not going anywhere, and neither are you.
Five million bucks, and it can’t buy you happiness - a seat in the U.S. Senate. But you can get yourself a new job. The only question is, where? Guys come out of Congress, they expect to rake in the big bucks. Really big bucks.
But UMass-Lowell would pay - what? - 250 large, maybe 300 tops. More than enough to live on, but you’re a congressman. And the president of the state Senate, Bobby Travaglini, is looking at a half-million a year from the Massachusetts Hospital Association when he checks out in the spring.
Nice guy and all, but when was the last time Trav got a pat on the back from The New York Times [NYT]?
For you, it was last Wednesday. An editorial about (yawn) congressional ethics enforcement. Not that anybody on that UMass search committee gives a bleep.
You mention those Times editorials to the Bulger hacks from UMass and their eyes glaze over. Ditto, with the other crew you’re trying to hook up with - the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council. That was where Tommy Finneran was grabbing $416,000 a year until he copped a plea last month on felony charges.
You’re Marty Meehan, and this is the plan: Stick the 5 million in five-year CDs. Make the big money somewhere until 2014, when Kerry’s next term is up and he’s 70, and by then you’re sitting on 7 million dead presidents.
UMass-Lowell, the Biotech Council - all you need is two feelers out there, get ’em both into the papers, which you already have, and voila, you’ve got a bidding war. And for good measure, throw in the NFL rumor - that you’re going to be new Commissioner Roger Goodell’s top deputy. Nothing to it, but it looks good in print, especially on Super Sunday.
You’re Marty Meehan, and the family wants you back in Lowell. You just turned 50, the boys are 7 and 4. You sold the old summer dump in Salisbury and upgraded to Seabrook, and maybe it’s time to come home.
For a while anyway. Until the tables turn.
You’re Marty Meehan, Pats season-ticket holder, and everyone asks you who’s gonna win the Super Bowl tonight.
The Colts, you tell them. By 10.
Howie Carr column ping
>>a botched joke by John Kerry
I get the feeling Kerry's campaign was doomed even before
the botched joke but that just sealed it
I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,
but I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no.
I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
(insert Ted Knight laugh)
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
and I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.
Til I finally died (POLITICALL), which started the whole world living, (THANK GOD!)
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
and I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.
>>(POLITICALL)
(POLITICALLY)
"...if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq"
There oughta be a law!
what's marty going to do with his 5 mil? what are his legal options?
i think he should buy some "heightmax". ever seen him?
i saw him in a parade once. he's a pretty little guy.
He's really going to UMass? Howie really discounted the possibility when the story first came up. I wonder if there's anything interesting going on behind the scenes.
OR, maybe he'll get a talkshow host gig at RKO like all the other former hacks..........:)
I hope it only airs in the Boston market. Go outside the freeway ring (I can't recall the number) and NO ONE will be able to understand his thick accent!
LOL, it's definetly a local market, I like this station but lately they are falling down on the job, they hired a convicted felon, former gov worker, he'll be starting on the 12th, plenty of room for Meehan at this station, they'll just fire another host......Boston politics, such fodder, I'm soooooo sorry gigilo is not running, he was/is sooooooooooo entertaining, and his wife....a whole other story.......LOL!
Never saw him in person but I saw him on C-SPAN--they were televising Howie's show and Marty came on with him. Here, Marty is, errrr, very, very glad to, errrrr, be in the company of, errrr, Mike "Good Jobs, at Good Wages" Dukakis.
About the time he took that ride in the tank with that dorky helmet that covered half his head, the "miracle" was emerging has yesterday's story and today's lie.
Yeah imagine having a cleaning fluid drinking first lady? Your instructions to the cleaning staff would have to include what not to touch with polish and what not to hit with the vacuum cleaner and oh yes, please don't give my wife any windex, OK?
Little and Littler?
My take is that either the wife raided the fridge, or Dukakis was just being cheap with money that isn't the taxpayers'. That is, his own.
I'm going with the latter.
>>Dukakis comes back with a single bottle and two glasses.
yup Howie has said that story many times
agreed ;)
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